It’s hard to believe it’s been almost 15 years since the legendary comedian George Carlin passed away. His wit remains a vivid memory thanks to the many “Best Of George Carlin” videos on YouTube that also give younger generations the opportunity to know him. When it comes to comedy, there is no shortage of great performers, but his bold stance on nearly every topic, from religion to politics, set him apart from other funnymen of his era. His irreverent jokes and no-holds-barred attitude made him a fan favorite but also landed him in trouble with the law more than once. He got into comedy in 1960 when he started working with Jack Burns, who soon became his writing partner and best friend. They performed together for some years before Carlin went solo. From there, he became a comedy icon, which continued up until his death in 2008 at the age of 71.
A leading voice that influenced other comedians and an important figure in both the counterculture and mainstream culture, George Carlin was noted for his black comedy as well as his thoughts on politics, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. He is widely regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comedians, one of the first in the 1960s to use profanity in his routines.
He didn’t just make people laugh. He made them think and sometimes reconsider their beliefs. He had an uncanny ability to cut through the clutter of everyday life, and for this, we want to honor this man with our favorite inspirational quotes from George Carlin. Some are funny, some are insightful, but they’re all packed with his typical brutal honesty.
#81

“What if there were no hypothetical questions?”
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#82
“Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.”
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#83
“Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.”
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#84
“I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.”
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#85

“So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.”
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#86
“Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.”
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#87
“If you can’t say something nice about a person, go ahead.”
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#88
“People always tell me ‘Have a nice day.’ Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?”
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#89
“Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.”
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#90

“There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.”
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#91
“Electricity is really just organized lightning.”
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#92
“If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.”
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#93
“When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foot’s hands.”
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#94
“Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.”
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#95

“Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.”
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#96
“My advice: just keep moving straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.”
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#97
“Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.”
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#98
“A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.'”
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#99
“Think off-center.”
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#100

“By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.”
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