First of all - congrats! Felicitations on finally admitting that you are, in fact, an adult. And yes, funny text jokes for adults are your thing now. Sure, these text jokes might look familiar at first glance, but trust us – they’ve earned the “for adults” label for a reason.
Whether you’re a fan of dirty jokes, clever one-liners, or even longer storytelling in funny long jokes, this list offers bite-sized humor you can copy, paste, and fire off in your next message.
And why the emphasis on text jokes? Because you’re still part of the cool crowd who prefers typing out punchlines instead of sending voice notes. Voice memos are fine, but can they deliver a perfectly timed pun or a witty one-liner like a well-crafted text joke? We think not. So if you’re ready to upgrade your message game, you’re in the right place.
Below are some of the funniest short jokes for adults to text your friends. Scroll down, laugh out loud, and don’t forget to vote for your favorites. And if you’re into even more spicy humor, check out these flirty jokes or these ridiculous short people jokes while you’re at it.
#121 These Text Jokes Hit Different

I went to a seafood disco last week, but ended up pulling a mussel.
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#122
Two men walk into a bar.
The third one ducks!
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#123
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9!
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#124
What's the loneliest cheese?
ProvAlone!
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#125
Why do melons have weddings?
Because they cantaloupe!
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#126

What did the daddy tomato say to the baby tomato?
Ketchup!
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#127
What kind of button doesn't button or unbutton?
A belly button!
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#128
Why can't you trust a burrito?
Because they tend to spill the beans!
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#129
Why is a carrot the best detective?
They get to the root of every case!
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#130
Two blondes walk into a building…
You’d think one of them would have seen it.
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#131

So a baby seal walks into a club…
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#132
Crime doesn’t pay…
Does that mean my job is a crime?
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#133
I ordered a chicken and an egg online.
I’ll let you know.
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#134
What’s the difference between a steak and a shooting star?
One’s meaty, the other is a little meteor.
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#135

I would love to travel to Holland someday.
Wooden shoe?
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#136
I heard there were a bunch of break-ins over at the car park.
That is wrong on so many levels.
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#137
It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.
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#138
My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline.
She hit the ceiling!
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#139

The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing someone’s cast.
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#140
Well, to be Frank with you, I’d have to change my name.
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