There’s a saying that you can’t trust anything you see on the internet. And while it sounds a bit dramatic, there’s a lot of truth to it.
Whether it’s someone’s crazy and totally-not-made-up personal story or the comment section underneath a news article, you rarely know if you’re dealing with a well-meaning person, a troll, or even a bot, and whether they’re just misinformed or purposefully spreading nonsense.
Unless you stumble upon a community that explicitly states it’s here to mock this exact phenomenon.
That’s right, we found a subreddit where members create satirical science-related Q&As, and the funniest (or saddest?) thing about it is how instantly recognizable their exchanges are. So for your entertainment, we’ve rounded up some of our favorite ones.
#1
Is this almost perfectly circular island man-made?
dogninja8:
No, it's a fake island put there by the map maker to see if anyone is copying his map.
anonymous:
That's Antaracataca you dumb potatoe.
RamsesThePigeon:
That's not an island... but I suspect you knew as much.
No, that's a flying saucer. It's been hovering over the Earth for centuries, but it moves from place to place, which is why different maps show it in different locations.
dogninja8:
No, it's a fake island put there by the map maker to see if anyone is copying his map.
anonymous:
That's Antaracataca you dumb potatoe.
RamsesThePigeon:
That's not an island... but I suspect you knew as much.
No, that's a flying saucer. It's been hovering over the Earth for centuries, but it moves from place to place, which is why different maps show it in different locations.
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47points
#2
How does Hugh Jackman keep from aging?
anonymous:
Well, he is originally from Australia, which as we all know is reverse from the rest of the world. This is where he spends his off time, so he gets younger every day spent there. He works in the US, where he ages as normal. His work life balance is 50/50, so he basically stays the same age.
snonymous:
Hugh Jackman isn't real, they just got Wolverine to play him on the show. Wolverine doesn't get old because of his cells regenerative powers.
anonymous:
Well, he is originally from Australia, which as we all know is reverse from the rest of the world. This is where he spends his off time, so he gets younger every day spent there. He works in the US, where he ages as normal. His work life balance is 50/50, so he basically stays the same age.
snonymous:
Hugh Jackman isn't real, they just got Wolverine to play him on the show. Wolverine doesn't get old because of his cells regenerative powers.
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37points
#3
I have told my 5 year old the answer of an ELI5 about gravitational waves and he did not understand it. Is he mentally unwell?
SplitReality:
It depends on how close you were to your child when you offered the explanation. Gravity is known to warp time. Thus the act of explaining gravity creates a gravity well which the explanation must escape. If you were too far away from your child, the ELI5 explanation would have aged relative to them as it traveled out of that well beyond your child's 5 year old intellect's ability to understand.
This phenomenon can also be observed when people high on dr*gs talk about "heavy" topics that seem not to make sense to anyone else. Their observations are actually quite profound. The problem is that the denseness of the conversation creates a gravity well so strong that by the time it escapes, it is beyond the understanding of the human mind.
SplitReality:
It depends on how close you were to your child when you offered the explanation. Gravity is known to warp time. Thus the act of explaining gravity creates a gravity well which the explanation must escape. If you were too far away from your child, the ELI5 explanation would have aged relative to them as it traveled out of that well beyond your child's 5 year old intellect's ability to understand.
This phenomenon can also be observed when people high on dr*gs talk about "heavy" topics that seem not to make sense to anyone else. Their observations are actually quite profound. The problem is that the denseness of the conversation creates a gravity well so strong that by the time it escapes, it is beyond the understanding of the human mind.
34points
#4
ELI5: Britain is officially leaving Europe. Where are they going to go/how hard is it to move an island?
iron_dinges:
They've already started the first step: making the pound lighter so that the country can float on the sea.
EDIT: I was not talking about the pound sterling, kind gilding stranger!
JustADudeOfSomeSort:
Well first they need to have someone go down and pull the release level in the chunnel. That detaches them from the mainland and allows them to float free. Then the dutch wind farms will turn their windmills on and blow the country out into the ocean, where it can catch trade currents wherever it would like to go.
iron_dinges:
They've already started the first step: making the pound lighter so that the country can float on the sea.
EDIT: I was not talking about the pound sterling, kind gilding stranger!
JustADudeOfSomeSort:
Well first they need to have someone go down and pull the release level in the chunnel. That detaches them from the mainland and allows them to float free. Then the dutch wind farms will turn their windmills on and blow the country out into the ocean, where it can catch trade currents wherever it would like to go.
34points
#5
Why hasn't Ryan Gosling become Ryan Goose yet
HolySimon:
Ryan Gander*
ra_calli:
Okay so the person who made this post is my little brother and he has made this joke like six times before and none of our family thought it was funny and then this morning he shows me this and that it already had like 2000 upvotes and I hate the internet he's not funny
HolySimon:
Ryan Gander*
ra_calli:
Okay so the person who made this post is my little brother and he has made this joke like six times before and none of our family thought it was funny and then this morning he shows me this and that it already had like 2000 upvotes and I hate the internet he's not funny
31points
#6
Does anyone know what to do when your dog deflates?
craniumonempty:
What's with kids these days? Old cartoons used to show us step by step what to do.
Get a foot-pedal bike-pump. Stick hose in dogs mouth. Pump until full size again
Warning: don't over inflate or they'll fly away.
anonymous:
This is an easy one, you need to put your entire mouth around the snout and blow as hard as possible. After a couple of puffs should be back to normal.
craniumonempty:
What's with kids these days? Old cartoons used to show us step by step what to do.
Get a foot-pedal bike-pump. Stick hose in dogs mouth. Pump until full size again
Warning: don't over inflate or they'll fly away.
anonymous:
This is an easy one, you need to put your entire mouth around the snout and blow as hard as possible. After a couple of puffs should be back to normal.
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27points
#7
Why did people used to build ruins?
whereismysafespace_:
It's sadly a lost art. We don't build ruins like we used to anymore.
ZanthorTitanius:
Roofs weren't invented until 1550, that's why Leonardo da Vinci is so famous. Everything looks like ruins before then, sorry.
anonymous:
Old timey Dungeons and Dragons/LARP mostly. They didn't have the material to make models so they had to use the real thing.
whereismysafespace_:
It's sadly a lost art. We don't build ruins like we used to anymore.
ZanthorTitanius:
Roofs weren't invented until 1550, that's why Leonardo da Vinci is so famous. Everything looks like ruins before then, sorry.
anonymous:
Old timey Dungeons and Dragons/LARP mostly. They didn't have the material to make models so they had to use the real thing.
26points
#8
How does this image exist?
anonymous:
Clearly they set the exposure really high and just moved the camera to a new position.
jsquires74:
Progress on the worlds second camera was faster than expected and was completed before the worlds first
Notsure_jr:
We used the Hubble space telescope to look back in time to take this photo.
anonymous:
Clearly they set the exposure really high and just moved the camera to a new position.
jsquires74:
Progress on the worlds second camera was faster than expected and was completed before the worlds first
Notsure_jr:
We used the Hubble space telescope to look back in time to take this photo.
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24points
#9
I bought a "Smart" TV, but I'm still able to watch Duck Dynasty. Why isn't it working?
bushybearmuffinman:
Did you press your forehead directly to the screen for an hour so the tv could tell how smart you are?
matruschkasized:
Did you adjust the brightness?
Moldiemom:
I hate to tell you this, but I think it's geared to the intellect of the viewer. The smart tvs don't want to overwhelm our brains with too much.
I'll let you know if mine ever plays anything more informative than "Robot Chicken".
bushybearmuffinman:
Did you press your forehead directly to the screen for an hour so the tv could tell how smart you are?
matruschkasized:
Did you adjust the brightness?
Moldiemom:
I hate to tell you this, but I think it's geared to the intellect of the viewer. The smart tvs don't want to overwhelm our brains with too much.
I'll let you know if mine ever plays anything more informative than "Robot Chicken".
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23points
#10
My pizza says to bake for 18-21 minutes, how do I bake something for -3 minutes?
Hullabalooga:
Oh, you must've missed it. Pizza was ready 3 minutes ago.
JayTee12:
You need to go Bake to the Future.
ateoclockminusthel:
Easy. Take it out of the oven. Wait 3 minutes. And put it in. Finished
Hullabalooga:
Oh, you must've missed it. Pizza was ready 3 minutes ago.
JayTee12:
You need to go Bake to the Future.
ateoclockminusthel:
Easy. Take it out of the oven. Wait 3 minutes. And put it in. Finished
23points
#11
Has the technology improved over the last 4 years?
anonymous:
Angles are nature's most untapped resource
anonymous:
Angles are nature's most untapped resource
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22points
#12
I accidentally swallowed an ice cube whole yesterday and still have not passed it, should I be concerned?
anonymous:
Should be nothing to worry about. Unless you start hearing STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON coming from your digestive regions.
himthatspeaks:
You probably don't need to worry about it too much. People swallow an average of 27 ice cubes while sleeping throughout their lifetime.
If you're really concerned, try drinking a cup sea salt. Salt melts ice.
anonymous:
Just drink some anti-freeze!
anonymous:
Should be nothing to worry about. Unless you start hearing STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON coming from your digestive regions.
himthatspeaks:
You probably don't need to worry about it too much. People swallow an average of 27 ice cubes while sleeping throughout their lifetime.
If you're really concerned, try drinking a cup sea salt. Salt melts ice.
anonymous:
Just drink some anti-freeze!
21points
#13
Amish of Reddit, how does not using technology affect your lives?
Errror1:
Just because we use reddit doesn't mean we use technology. I wrote this text, for example, with a carrier pidgey
Typo_Matser:
You know, I shun fancy things like electricity, at 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows. Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows. And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that, even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone.
Errror1:
Just because we use reddit doesn't mean we use technology. I wrote this text, for example, with a carrier pidgey
Typo_Matser:
You know, I shun fancy things like electricity, at 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows. Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows. And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that, even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone.
19points
#14
I discovered I've accidentally been feeding my chickens popcorn instead of feed corn when my prized hen got too close to the heat lamp. Medical question: anything I can to? Culinary question: anything I can do?
ZhangStone:
My professor said you could consider chicken as a sphere when calculating air resistance. Now I believe him
thingalinga:
Obesity in chickens is a serious problem. The only way to fix this is to get her a chicken sized Peloton. Whatever you do, please don’t ask her when her chicks are due.
-Lil-Chicken-:
Medical-have her drink lots of water, this will hopefully help dissolve the popcorn
Culinary-feed her some butter, I hear it makes a nice addition to popcorn
P.S. That is not a Lil-Chicken
ZhangStone:
My professor said you could consider chicken as a sphere when calculating air resistance. Now I believe him
thingalinga:
Obesity in chickens is a serious problem. The only way to fix this is to get her a chicken sized Peloton. Whatever you do, please don’t ask her when her chicks are due.
-Lil-Chicken-:
Medical-have her drink lots of water, this will hopefully help dissolve the popcorn
Culinary-feed her some butter, I hear it makes a nice addition to popcorn
P.S. That is not a Lil-Chicken
Report
19points
#15
Why does this 2 pound coin only weigh 0.02 pounds?
FadeIntoReal:
Inflation.
anonymous:
The zeros are silent
Mango027:
Your balance isn't calibrated correctly. You need to use this 2 pound coin as a reference standard to fix the calibration. After recalibration, your 2 pound coin will correctly read 2 pounds.
FadeIntoReal:
Inflation.
anonymous:
The zeros are silent
Mango027:
Your balance isn't calibrated correctly. You need to use this 2 pound coin as a reference standard to fix the calibration. After recalibration, your 2 pound coin will correctly read 2 pounds.
Report
18points
#16
Who cuts these children in half?
onetruemod:
I don't know, but whoever it is seems to be getting worse at their job.
eriken1:
Obviously something is wrong here. If you cut them in half it should be doubled, so the graph is showing the wrong way.
AmazingShoes:
King Solomon, it's just his thing.
onetruemod:
I don't know, but whoever it is seems to be getting worse at their job.
eriken1:
Obviously something is wrong here. If you cut them in half it should be doubled, so the graph is showing the wrong way.
AmazingShoes:
King Solomon, it's just his thing.
Report
18points
#17
1 or 2?
cephalopodtalisman;
Who the hell wears a tie at the top of their neck
Moose_Nuts1867:
A tie rests on the bottom of your neck, it is not worn up against your chin, therefore number 2 is correct
Mcboomsauce:
Brachiosaurus didnt wear ties, dress clothing was invented in the late cretaceous period....We know this...the T in T rex stands for Tuxedo
cephalopodtalisman;
Who the hell wears a tie at the top of their neck
Moose_Nuts1867:
A tie rests on the bottom of your neck, it is not worn up against your chin, therefore number 2 is correct
Mcboomsauce:
Brachiosaurus didnt wear ties, dress clothing was invented in the late cretaceous period....We know this...the T in T rex stands for Tuxedo
Report
17points
#18
If Dwayne Johnson is studying his family history, is it called genealogy or geology?
Wildwoodywoodpecker:
Either way he's digging up dirt
RealDwayneJohnsonAMA:
In third grade, all the other kids drew a family tree. The Rock made a family quarry.
Wildwoodywoodpecker:
Either way he's digging up dirt
RealDwayneJohnsonAMA:
In third grade, all the other kids drew a family tree. The Rock made a family quarry.
16points
#19
HOW MANY CUPS OF DECAF DO I NEED TO DRINK TO UNDO THE EFFECTS OF DRINKING 9 CUPS OF REGULAR COFFEE? ASKING FOR A FRIEND.
spiketheunicorn:
You need uncaf not decaf. Take a cup of coffee. Freeze it to 'unboil' it. Dehydrate it to remove water.
Now you have caffeine-free uncoffee. It's like anti-matter for coffee. Don't drink too much or you'll fall asleep forever.
liquidnonsense:
Decaf? No. You actually just need one more cup of regular coffee. The digit will loop over from 9 cups to 0, just like in a car odometer, and you'll be effectively caffeine-free.
MaxPecktacular:
No no no. You don't need to drink it. You need to brew a lot of decaf then bathe in it. You will essentially create a hypertonic solution and the caffeine will naturally leave your body to balance out the decaf around you.
spiketheunicorn:
You need uncaf not decaf. Take a cup of coffee. Freeze it to 'unboil' it. Dehydrate it to remove water.
Now you have caffeine-free uncoffee. It's like anti-matter for coffee. Don't drink too much or you'll fall asleep forever.
liquidnonsense:
Decaf? No. You actually just need one more cup of regular coffee. The digit will loop over from 9 cups to 0, just like in a car odometer, and you'll be effectively caffeine-free.
MaxPecktacular:
No no no. You don't need to drink it. You need to brew a lot of decaf then bathe in it. You will essentially create a hypertonic solution and the caffeine will naturally leave your body to balance out the decaf around you.
16points
#20
How can I get my bananas to grow like this?
It_Is_Blue:
They do that naturally. Just like sausages, bananas naturally grow very long, but humans cut them short. This makes them easier to peel.
MCBlackJack:
Long answer short, you cant. It would be ridiculous for bananas to grow in a circular fashion and you are dumb for asking that. Those are plantains.
smegmabot:
ah, the rare suburban hose-banana. it is endemic to North America, typically found growing next to houses.
It_Is_Blue:
They do that naturally. Just like sausages, bananas naturally grow very long, but humans cut them short. This makes them easier to peel.
MCBlackJack:
Long answer short, you cant. It would be ridiculous for bananas to grow in a circular fashion and you are dumb for asking that. Those are plantains.
smegmabot:
ah, the rare suburban hose-banana. it is endemic to North America, typically found growing next to houses.
Report
16points