We can all come up with quite a number of savage comebacks, remarks, or just simply funny phrases to respond to someone. However, it’s usually too late, the conversation has ended, you’re in the shower, and it’s only the soap bar and shampoo bottles listening to you. Worry not! This list will provide you with the funniest comebacks and remarks, ready to use on the go.
If you ever wondered what kind of funny catchphrases you could use in a conversation with your friends, the options are limitless. Here on this list, gathered today are funny sayings. From hilarious one-liners expressing your innermost feelings to more creative and funny alternatives for the famous “hold my beer.”
There are also perfectly summed-up sentences about the struggles in life that we might experience, but of course, with a dash of comedy to add that spice into our lives that we might be missing.
So if you’re all out of funny phrases to say to your friends, dig into this list and expand your dictionary of snappy comebacks!
#81
They say crime doesn’t pay. So does my current job make me a criminal?
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#82
They say good, honest work never did anybody any harm, but I don’t want even the slightest risk.
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#83
My bed is a magical place I suddenly remember everything I had to do.
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#84
There’s no “we” in fries.
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#85
We can’t all be princesses. Someone has to wave when I roll by.
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#86
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
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#87
If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
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#88
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
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#89
Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.
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#90
I finally found a machine at the gym that I like: the vending machine!
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#91
I get enough exercise from pushing my luck.
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#92
A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station…
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#93
A broad smile is a cooler way of showing your enemies that you have teeth.
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#94
I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.
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#95
When life hands you lemons, make lemonade, find the person that life handed vodka to, and have a party.
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#96
Death is hereditary.
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#97
Somebody said today that I’m lazy. I nearly answered him.
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#98
You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?
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#99
According to my mirror I am pregnant. The father is Nutella.
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#100
He who wakes up early, yawns all day long.
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