We can all come up with quite a number of savage comebacks, remarks, or just simply funny phrases to respond to someone. However, it’s usually too late, the conversation has ended, you’re in the shower, and it’s only the soap bar and shampoo bottles listening to you. Worry not! This list will provide you with the funniest comebacks and remarks, ready to use on the go.
If you ever wondered what kind of funny catchphrases you could use in a conversation with your friends, the options are limitless. Here on this list, gathered today are funny sayings. From hilarious one-liners expressing your innermost feelings to more creative and funny alternatives for the famous “hold my beer.”
There are also perfectly summed-up sentences about the struggles in life that we might experience, but of course, with a dash of comedy to add that spice into our lives that we might be missing.
So if you’re all out of funny phrases to say to your friends, dig into this list and expand your dictionary of snappy comebacks!
#61
World Magazine has come out with a new survey: Apparently, three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
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#62
Don’t worry, if Plan A doesn’t work, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.
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#63
Hearing voices in your head is normal. Listening to them is quite common. Arguing with them – acceptable. It is only when you lose that argument that you get in real trouble.
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#64
I’m not sleeping, I’m resting my eyelids.
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#65
If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
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#66
A diamond is just a lump of coal that did well under pressure.
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#67
I didn’t fall down. I did attack the floor, though.
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#68
How many times must I flush before you finally go away?
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#69
Every rule has an exception. This rule is no exception.
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#70
The true nature of a human being clearly shows when the supermarket opens a second checkout lane.
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#71
I don’t care what people think of me. Mosquitos find me attractive!
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#72
I’m never wrong. I’m just different levels of right.
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#73
When it comes to thought, some people stop at nothing.
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#74
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
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#75
My wallet is like an onion. Every time I open it, it makes me cry.
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#76
My bed and I are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.
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#77
Cancel my subscription—I don’t need your issues.
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#78
I am in touch with my motivation. I saw it going by this morning, waving at me and winking.
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#79
The road to success is always under construction.
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#80
There are people who are living proof that total brain failure does not always lead to physical death.
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