The advisory also reminds parents that looking after themselves is a key part of looking after their families, and that even small investments of time in things like sleep, exercise, or activities that bring joy can make a meaningful difference. Writer Sherri Gordon puts it another way. Writing for Parents, she reflects on the airline safety briefing that tells parents to put on their own oxygen masks before helping their children. After more than 20 years of parenting, she says, the “airlines are actually onto something.” You can’t keep giving when there’s nothing left in the tank.
Luckily, Gordon points out that there’s no one right way to “fill your cup.” “Not everyone needs a candlelit bubble bath to feel recharged. Some people need to get their hands dirty planting hydrangeas instead,” she writes. For her, sometimes it was as simple as 10 minutes alone, whether that meant a short drive, a walk around the block, or a quiet late-night wander through the frozen food aisle. Other times, she says, it starts with simply asking for help, even with something as mundane as the never-ending laundry pile.
Sometimes it’s just about being less hard on yourself. The advisory acknowledges that it’s impossible to get parenting right all the time, which is why being compassionate and forgiving with yourself is essential. And research suggests that being kinder to yourself can pay off: a recent Arizona State University study found that parents of young children who were more self-compassionate experienced fewer depressive symptoms up to a year later.
So the next time you find yourself surveying a living room that looks like a tornado has hit, try to cut yourself a little slack. The stuffed animals will likely resume their tea party tomorrow, nobody’s judging you over mismatched socks, and you’re probably doing way better than you think. In the meantime, make that cup of tea, put your feet up, and enjoy a few laughs with parents whose homes almost certainly look every bit as chaotic as yours.
