32 Parents Share Their Biggest Fails And They Range From Hilarious To Concerning

I have a daughter (8) and a son (3). My daughter is a wonderfully sweet person who says some of the strangest things (today was "ouch, my nut muscles!" and no, it had no real context). My son is a wild ginger scream machine who alternates between manic and maniac with occasional bouts of sweetness.

My kids both love to jump on me and blow raspberries on my belly but there is only so much my poor body can take from being body slammed. My son is easy to "reset" out of any bad mood with a properly timed raspberry to the cheek or belly, but he can't see it coming. If he does, it doesn't make him laugh or smile. Occasionally he will sneak up on me and do the same to me and it's really cute and a nice bonding moment.

Today, I am getting body slammed again by both kids, and I have reached my pain limit. I wrestle the 8 year old down and lay across her belly and squish her as she cackles madly. I fail to notice the little ginger footsteps as my son creeps up behind me. I am basically in child's pose at this moment.

I feel two cold hands on the edges of my pants. I barely have time to register, "what the heck is going on back there" before my pants are ripped down and a MASSIVE raspberry is blown directly into my buttcrack.

I leap up like rocket, tumbling over my daughter whole yelling, "NOOOO, NO FORBIDDEN ZRRBRRT," and crash into my couch face-first. My son is thundering after me, cackling, determined to practice his wind instrument skills and I am struggling to pull up my pants, not stomp on my also-cackling daughter, and figure out which direction isn't full of pain or confusion. The words, "More butt! More butt!" are being chanted by my son and I have to find a way to fight him off without scarring the poor child for life. I twist my legs in a vain attempt to both pull my pants up and push the child away, once again crashing but this time into a wooden dresser.

I am fairly sure I will have a black eye tomorrow and I will have to tell everyone this story.

Now I also have to gently but constantly remind my son he has found a definite boundary issue as I have twice more had to snatch his hands off of my pants as he snuck up on me.

TL,DR: I sneak up on my son to give him raspberries, he sneaks up on me, pulls my pants down, and blows one in my buttcrack. I injure myself falling down and have to teach him a new boundary I didn't expect to have to teach him.

TIFU by telling my kids “don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time” I have 4 boys. It is important for me that they understand that they are responsible for their actions. I always tell them their actions have consequences, good or bad, and they need to remember that especially when they make bad choices. A few months ago I put my 6yo in time out for doing something he knew he shouldn’t have done. He has adhd so he’s very impulsive and always getting himself into something. He was crying about being in time out. So I told him that when we knowingly and purposely make bad choices we don’t lie about it or try to hide it we accept responsibility, accept our consequences, then move on with our life and make better choices. Then I said it.. “Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.” A few days later he didn’t want to do his homework. I told him if he didn’t he would be grounded. He said “for how long?” I told him for the rest of the week no TV or Nintendo. He said “ok that’s fine” and he didn’t do his homework. Now he questions everything and does the time for his crimes. Lol “Eat your vegetables please” “What happens if I don’t?” “No dessert””Ok” “clean your room” “what happens if I don’t?” “No tv or Nintendo until your room is clean” “ok” “Don’t eat that candy” “what happens if I do?” “You won’t participate in family movie night” “Ok fine I won’t eat it.” I’ve caught him a few times telling himself “nah, maybe I shouldn’t do that” so there’s some progress. Lol

TLDR; Told my 6yo don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time. Now he questions the “time” for everything and sometimes even accepts it.

Over the last year, I’ve gotten back into my PS4 and started getting all the great games I missed since my son came out. He’s in first grade now and he’s a whiz at all the iPad games, so he obviously showed an interest in playing on the PS4, so I made him his own profile and let him choose his own games. Lego ones and SpongeBob were his jam. Until he saw my games. He saw me play Spider-Man, so he had to play. Set up his own game at easy settings on his own profile and he got pretty good. Same with Jedi: Fallen Order. I finished them both so I can help him as he goes and it’s been fun to share.

I just recently got Horizon Zero Dawn, and I’m really loving it, but it’s a more stealth and thoughtful tactics game to take down a machine without getting savaged or run out of ammo. He saw it and immediately started his own play through. But easy setting is WAY WAY easy. He’s one-shotting massive beasts and taking no damage running up and melee fighting vicious machines while I creep through grass and spend time planning and setting elaborate traps, hoping not to get seen. In two days he’s caught up to my weeks long game progress and blazed passed into areas I haven’t been to yet because of difficult enemies. And he really wants me to watch and talk about it, so now he’s spoiling the story progress for me.

TLDR: Easy setting on Horizon Zero Dawn is REALLY easy, allowing a first grader to quickly catch up to my game progress and start spoiling the game for me.

So I (34F) have a son (6M) who is really into video games. He got his Nintendo Switch almost 2 years ago and is loving it! At the age of five had already finished Mario Odyssey. I know very little about video games but even I think that was a pretty impressive accomplishment. He is still really young so while he doing great with playing the games he is still learning how to take care of his games and the console. There have been many times he has taken games out before ejecting them and other times he has taken them out correctly but he will just put the game down in a random place and loses them (not hard to do, have you seen the switch games? They are tiny). So, this is where I f*ed up. Every so often my husband and I will do what we call a “game audit”. We will get all the switch games from the 3 switches in the house and console travel cases and put them back in their original cases so we can make sure no one lost any. My husband had shown me in the past how to save progress and safely eject the game. On this day my husband was out of town and my kids were at school so I was doing the “audit” by myself. I get to my son’s console and he had Pokémon Scarlett in it. I went through the process of ejecting the game and take it out and after I did that I remembered that I never saved 🤦‍♀️ I feel awful, my son had put a ton of time into the game and was working so hard. I know he had done so much work and I just had a brain fart and completely forgot to save it.

TL;DR I took my son’s Pokemon Scarlett game out without saving his progress.

Well my wife and I decided to do the whole Santa thing since so many Christmas stories have him present and my daughter has loved it and been eating it up.

We had her scribble a cute “Christmas Wish List” to Santa and put it in the mailbox and explained how that whole process was supposed to work. (We believe the mailman actually took the letter later that day before we could retrieve it as well.. but that is besides the point. I’m just surprised he could decipher the ‘to address’.)

Well, later that day my daughter was dancing to Disney movies and causally mentioned, “when my Aurora dress comes, I’ll be so happy.” My wife and I looked at each other like.. did you get her an aurora dress? We asked her what she was talking about and she just said, “Santa is getting it for me..”

After a few moments we realized she must’ve actually asked Santa for a few gifts for Christmas without telling us and we did not anticipate our 3yo to comprehend the activity or let alone REMEMBER her list after the activity was completed.

We then asked her if she wrote about more gifts to Santa and she responded, “yes, I told Santa about all of the gifts.” When we inquired about what she asked for, all she would say was “Santa knows.......”.

We even tried to say that Mom and Dad would love to help Santa and get you some gifts as well. She just reminds us “Santa is getting my gifts..” and hasn’t eluded to any other gifts she wants besides the ‘Aurora Dress’.

So unless Santa gets this letter and comes through... I guess we just commit to the lump of coal route to cover our bums? Can’t think of any other option really.

TL;DR We let our 3yo daughter write a scribbled list to Santa and now she won’t tell us what she wanted for Christmas because “Santa knows” and we don’t know what to do except give her a lump of coal.

My wife and I recently decided that it was time to reveal to our daughter, Alyssa (fake name) (10F), that Santa is not "real". We have been discussing how to reveal it to her for some time as she is getting older and we really didn't want someone to weaponize this information and shatter her world in a cruel way, especially right before Christmas. We also didn't want her to find out and then tell her younger brother (5M).

A little background information on Alyssa: she often takes things literally and has trouble picking up on sarcasm. She is also very sensitive to criticism and finding out she is wrong about anything. For these reasons, my wife and I thought she may not take this well. I was trying to be optimistic about it and thought if we put a positive spin on it, she may take it well. We had both come across a number of ways of doing this and this is how it went...

I asked Alyssa to come with me so we could have a quick chat (away from her brother while he was occupied). She asked if she was in trouble and I reassured her that she was not, and we (my wife and myself) just wanted to talk with her. We let Alyssa know that we felt that she has been really mature about things recently and we thought she was ready to be a helper. We told her that instead of there being one Santa who gets all of the presents for boys and girls, there were many people who act as Santa to create the holiday spirit and share joy and kindness with others, and now she gets to be a part of it.

Alyssa: "Santa isn't real???"

Me: "Well there isn't just one man called Santa who brings all of the presents. Mum and I and your grandparents and other family all work together to make Christmas special for you and your brother."

Alyssa (crying her eyes out): "Santa isn't real!!"

My wife (trying to comfort and hug her): "Sweetheart, we are all Santa for you."

Alyssa: "You've been lying to me! It's all lies!!"

Me: "Alyssa, Christmas is still really special and the spirit of Christmas still exists. I know that Mum and I both still feel it. It's a bit like how Harry Potter and the magic world don't really exist, but it feels real."

Alyssa: "What about the elves?? Are the elves real?"

Me: "No, but..."

Alyssa: "You lied to me! The reindeer aren't real?? Rudolph isn't real!"

My wife: "... I'm sorry Alyssa...."

Alyssa: "What about the Easter bunny???"

Me: "Well, no.... me and Mummy hide the eggs..."

Alyssa: "Noo!! It's all lies....."

*My wife and I keep hugging and reassuring her*

Alyssa: " What about the Tooth Fairy???"

My Wife: "Oh Sweetheart..."

Alyssa (while sobbing): "What about my teeth? Where are my teeth??? It's all lies! I want my teeth back!"


We have talked about it more since then and she is doing better, but she keeps telling me that she wished she didn't know and she's really sad.

So yeah, I FU.

TL;DR I told my 10yo daughter that Santa isn't real and shattered her world. In the process of trying to explain, she figured out that the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy aren't real either.

This happened last night but I'm just realizing this morning how bad the fu was.

My daughter loves to bake and is learning to cook. I try to be supportive and I've taught her how to make a few dishes and she likes to try new recipes, which I encourage. I realize that she will make mistakes along the way, but that's part of the learning process. Well, yesterday, my daughter got the idea to make savory waffles for dinner. She found a recipe and carefully executed it while my husband helped her out in the kitchen. She served me two waffles and told me different ways I could top them so I decided on avocado and microgreens because it was a cheddar and green onion waffle.

My daughter was so excited to present this meal to me and she even synchronized her first bite with mine so we could taste it together. So the first thing I taste is like a fishy taste but otherwise the waffle is everything it should be, golden brown on the outside and fluffy in the middle. But I can't really taste anything other than the fishy taste. I'm eating this dish trying to figure out why it tastes bad, especially on the crispy outside. I did just recover from COVID and things are tasting a bit off so I thought maybe it's just me. My daughter seems to be enjoying it and she keeps looking at me to see if I like it. I tell her that I like how fluffy it was and that the cheese in the waffle is my favorite part. It tastes bad and I admit I'm a bit of a people pleaser so I tried to eat the better part of both waffles so as not to disappoint or discourage her.

My husband wasn't eating with us, which is not unusual because he's not as willing to try new recipes. He comes by and asks, "how is it?" At this point I'm like the lady from the meme doing mental math. I think I know what the taste was because I usually do all the dishes and I don't recall EVER cleaning the waffle iron. I ask my husband if he cleaned the waffle iron before using it. He must've realized his part in the fu because instead of saying no, he answered "not with water" and I realize that the fishy taste is indeed the taste of a cheddar and green onion waffle cooked in rancid oil/butter/grease left over from whenever the last time we used it. I think the last time the waffle iron was used was like over a year ago. I guess my waffles were the first two cooked and absorbed most of the rancid oil so my daughter didn't taste it? I have since been flossing, brushing, and using mouthwash to get the taste out of my mouth but nevertheless it persists. So here I am the next day repulsed at the mere thought of food.

TLDR I kept eating a waffle that was cooked in rancid oil and tasted awful so as not to curb my daughter's enthusiasm in the kitchen and now I may have ruined eating food

Ok so my daughter is really into anime and wanted to see the new Demon Slayer movie. She had actually gone once before but due to some serious drama she had to leave the theater early and couldn't see it. I offered to take her myself and she seemed happy, but not optimistic as we're kinda poor and movies are a huge luxury right now.

I did some odd-jobs to get some cash and suprised her last night by saying we could go. We had a great time out, talking, laughing, like stuff you see in commercials. We got popcorn, sodas, the whole nine.

I do enjoy anime, and I remember all the snide comments my parents used to make about stuff I liked as a teen, so I kept my mouth shut even though I didn't "get" most of what was going on. She was having fun and I was glad.

Until (maybe minor spoilers ahead)

At the end of the movie there was a very touching scene and several characters were ugly crying for like 5 minutes. I thought they were playing the scenes long as a joke, because it just kept going. Then the "camera pans up to a bird flying away who was also crying and I barked out "wtf why is the bird crying?!" While laughing.

I was the only one in the theater to do so.

Apparently this was the touching climax of the sadness and my daughter said later she was on the verge of tears herself until my outburst. I can only imagine the 20+ other Demon Slayer fans in the theater felt the same. So, sorry everyone.

TLDR: I laughed during a very sad scene and ruined everyone else's experience.

TIFU by making my daughter open a savings account.

Obligatory: This actually began a year or so ago.

I took my daughter to the bank with her accumulated piggybank money to open a savings account. You know, to teach her that it's good so save money, get some interest, then have it available when she wants to buy something bigger than an impulse by in the grocery checkout lane.

Now, a year-plus later, after getting 0.01% interest and being charged a $7 PER QUARTER service fee for a "dormant account" (we didn't keep putting in more money in every couple of months), I'll have to repay my daughter the difference between what she put in and what she'll get out when I close the account this week.

Yes, it was all according to the bank's terms but, DAMN, what BS! The savings lesson I tried to pass down from my father is a little outdated.

TL;DR: I wasted some of my daughter's piggybank money to "service fees" by forcing her to open a "savings" account.

[Edit: Thanks for all the advice posted about credit unions vs. banks. I think we'll stick with stocks from now on.]

A few days ago, my child said they were itchy. They texted a cute picture they drew of themselves with some spots, and it’s titled “I’m ichy” (sic). I laughed and said “take a shower.” They typically need a shower, and with sports starting, I figured they just needed to wash off. My adolescent child is at the age where I don’t examine them every time they have an itch, and they’re getting private about stuff. Fast forward a week later, I see a huge welt on their back. Turns out they are covered in ringworm (fungal rash, like athlete’s foot). Entire chest and spreading everywhere. I took them into urgent care right away. It will take at least a couple of weeks to clear up. It takes like 15 minutes daily to find and cover all the spots with cream.

Poor kid blames me for letting it get that bad and ignoring them! It’s also highly contagious, and soon we will all be getting treatment. And yes, I’m currently treating some itchy spots on myself now.

TL;DR: ignored my child’s self-drawing of them covered in rashes, and now the plague (ringworm) has hit the home

All I wanted to do was set traps for the cockroaches that have been making an incursion into our house...

My son is incredibly sensitive and loves bugs. I did my best to keep the knowledge of the pending cockroach massacre I was arming for that fateful night secret but, alas, he discovered my plot by overhearing the conversation between my wife and myself about the bugs. When he gathered what we were about to do he LOST IT. Full-on, nuclear meltdown, screaming - no, WAILING - about not wanting us to hurt the cockroaches because they are his friends.

It’s not like we have a huge bug problem, but the sightings had become more frequent and I wanted to make sure we didn’t leave ourselves open to an infestation. Now, we have to hide the word “trap” in our conversations around him and resisted him every time he starts asking where the cockroaches are. The kid is so sweet and just loves all living creatures. He’s 4 and won’t eat meat most of the time, unless it’s chicken nuggets. But once he realized what steak was, he refused. He won’t eat ground beef or chicken and always just wants rice and beans, because it’s his “favorite” and it’s “nice to the animals.” We have gone clandestine in our battles, waging guerrilla warfare against the pests who are trying to burrow into our home in the heat of summer. And we cannot tell my child because he is a double agent against us.

TL;DR - my child is the sweetest ever and cries over dead cockroaches. Now I have to play exterminator at night like Batman.

Went looking for black garlic at the Korean grocery near me today. Didn't find it but my son was irrationally enthralled by the ramen aisle, and desperately wanted a ramen. Of course, he picked out one of the two hundred that were varieties of the "Hot Chicken" flavor, in this case "HOT chicken flavor ramen" "with cheese" flavor. I told him it was probably too spicy for him (he can't stand mild Indian curry smdh), but he insisted. I wisely made him get a backup choice (shrimp).

I made them both for part of dinner. He got the shrimp something one. I looked at the hot chicken bowl, ignored any sense of caution I might have had about a cartoon chicken complete with flaming comb laughing, that clearly says "HOT" on the wrapper. I let mine cool off a bit after adding the water and putz around getting napkins. It didn't smell spicy too spicy, and first bite merely hinted of spice. Flavor was decent but packaged ramen bowl-ish. Good signs. A second bite was soon taken.

No.

I somehow put three bites of hellfire on earth into my mouth before I realized the extent of my mess up, and had to quit. Within three minutes, I was water hose-level crying. The sweat looked like I'd just put in enough deadlifts for jesus that I need to wring out my shirt. My lips ached from how hot it was. My child couldn't stop cracking up until he saw my tears, had to verify no dogs had recently passed away, and then resumed laughing himself to his own tears. My digestive track hates me on a level I can only describe as "venting magma chamber" right now. I hurt in places no one should ever hurt. I'm very glad we have a second bathroom in our house, because one of them's never going to get rid of its shame it is bearing right now.

It's been over three hours and I'm still sweating. I'm worried I may have damaged something more than my pride with this one.

TL; DR: Do not buy the yellow and red hot chicken with the flaming comb with cheese flavor ramen bowl unless you like pain. (obligatory I am not a spice-head, so you naga viper eating folks can laugh quietly to yourselves in the corner)