32 Parents Share Their Biggest Fails And They Range From Hilarious To Concerning

Obligatory "this was actually yesterday" but you get the idea.

So, I have a 16yo dog, 10yo daughter, 6yo son and 4yo son. My task list for the morning is: Drop off youngest at daycare. Drop off middle child at elementary school. Drop off oldest at middle school. Drop off dog at senior doggy daycare. Pick up coffee for myself and wife .Return home with coffee.

I did: Drop off youngest at daycare.. Drop off middle child at elementary school. Drop off oldest at middle school. Pick up coffee for myself and wife. Return home with coffee.

Now the discerning reader will note that my task list has 6 items but my executed task list has 5 items. However, the engineer in me would say that I successfully completed the story since the definition of done was "return home with empty car and two coffees". My wife is a product manager and tells me this is stupid but what do product managers know, right?

Anyway, turns out middle child took dog with him when he left car. I was talking with older daughter and didn't notice. Once I dropped her off the car was empty so I went to get coffee. Again, in my defense... ok, I have no defense. I totally spaced out and it's completely my fault hence I'm posting here on TIFU.

The worst part was showing up at Doggy daycare in the afternoon to pick up the dog and having them say "what dog? You didn't drop her off today". I nearly had an anxiety attack on the spot but that's also when I checked my voice mail so it worked out pretty quickly.

Anyway, the dog spent the day with my kid at his school. They did in fact try to call me once (maybe twice but according to the story I told my wife it was only once!) but I was on calls so I didn't notice. It's a small private school so things went ok and my kid's class was highly entertained. Dog loves kids and treats and got plenty of both so she was fine. In fact, they even send her home with a daily report card which I found entertaining. For the record, she did well in reading but not so well in math and does in fact play well with others.

TL;DR dropped dog off with kid at kid's school. All involved had fun.

Obligatory this happened a while ago.

When my daughter was 6 she was obsessed with the TV show Little House on the Prairie which delight my wife and me who loved the show when we were kids.

In the pilot episode, the family was so poor that each of the girls got a new cup, a shiny new penny, and a potato as a gift for Christmas. My daughter couldn't stop talking about it.

Now my family is really big into taking practical jokes too far. There was the feral daughter kept in a cage prank of 2010 and the Bloody Leprechaun joke of 2013, but this one really backfired on us.

After she went to bed on Christmas Eve, we hid all of her real presents behind the couch and left one package in the middle of the floor. When she came down she seemed surprised that there was only one gift but carefully unwrapped it to reveal, you guessed it, a shiny tin cup, a brand new penny, and a potato.

Attached was a note from Santa:

Molly,

I heard how much you love the Little House show, Here's hoping you have a very PRAIRIE Christmas.

Love,

Santa

She grabbed the potato and started to cry. Uh oh. I really screwed up this time. However, it wasn't because she was upset, but because she was so happy. Even when we revealed her other gifts she only wanted to be with her potato. She drew a face on it and carried it around with her everywhere.

But it started to go bad. First, it turned green and started to sprout eyelets. Eventually, we had a very traumatic experience where the potato disappeared in the night. She's 17 now and still talks wistfully about the potato every Christmas.

TL;DR I once gave a potato to my daughter as a practical joke and ended up backfiring when she ended up loving it and we had to get rid of it before it went gangrene.

So my daughter (3) is starting to make friends in the new area we've moved to (we've been here about a year, but she's not really been old enough to go out and play on the street yet). They're a great group of kids, and they mostly get on great (minus the usual childhood based tantrums).

The one she sees the most is Sarah (name changed, 5). Sarah lives just a couple of doors down, and they are constantly in and out of each others houses. My daughter met a lot of kids on the street through Sarah, so it's been a bountiful friendship for her.

Today, a bunch of about 6 of them was playing in our garden. They were doing the usual stuff - playing on the trampoline, playing football, chasing each other etc. Eventually I suggested a game of musical statues (where you dance whole the music plays, and freeze when it stops). Everything was going ok, and I started letting the kids pick their favourite songs to play.

We got the usual fare of Disney song demands , nothing that unexpected. Until Sarah - she asked for "Let's get down to Business", which YouTube had clarified for me as "Tiësto - The Business". To be honest, I hadn't heard the song before, and because I was starting and stopping it, I didn't really pay any attention to the lyrics.

Later I walked the girls round the block and took them home - when I got to Sarah's house, her parents asked me in for a coffee and a chat about what they'd got up to. I filled them in, and told them about Musical Statues as well. I asked Sarah "Sarah, how did you know that song? I haven't heard it before." Before anyone else could talk, she said without skipping a beat: "Mummy and Daddy play it in their room when they lock their door, it's loud!"

It took a minute for the penny to drop for me, bur Sarah's mum's face going red sped the process along quickly! I hurriedly bundled my daughter out, and when I told my wife about it, she laughed her bum off at my misfortune as I laugh/despaired into my hands.

TLDR - A game of musical statues with the kids revealed the music that my neighbors like to.. have fun to.

This Happened a few months ago. My Daughter does very well in school. Last year was a very rough year for my family. My FIL passed away from Covid. They were closer than I've ever been with someone. Her grades slid a bit, as to be expected. From AB to a few Cs. Not upset about that in the slightest. But she was hyper-distracted all school year last year and over the summer. She asked "Dad, what would you do if I got all As?" I don't remember her asking nor my response but she said that I said, "Id eat a foot-long hot dog whole and stream it if she got all As".

That 100% is something I would say. Now I'm staring down the end of the Semester and her 95%+ average is staring me in the face. I DO NOT want to do this but I am a man of my word. At this point, I'm trying to find a brand of Weiner that sells footlongs. I keep thinking about how I'm going to look like a Seagul trying to eat that hot dog. She wants me to stream it so bad. I keep telling her I dont think my 22 followers give a flying footlong. I'm trying to figure a way to just film it and put it on youtube. Sorry for my rant. I'm proud as hell of her and couldn't be happier...for her grades. Just not excited about this.

TL:DR, Told my Kid id eat a hot dog in one bite if she got all As, and boy did she deliver.

Like everyone, we've been participating in remote school. My daughter is in the first grade and works really hard. My wife has been so good to work with our daughter to make sure she's staying on track. They follow along with the online courses setup by her teacher.

This is what I had to email to my daughter's first grade teacher tonight after I realized TIFU.

Subject: [Daughter]'s Past Week of Work - Poof?

Hey [Teacher],

This is [Daughter]'s Dad, [Me]. I made an absolute critical error and I must confess to make recompense.

I was very excited to BBQ some burgers tonight and I needed some kindling. My usual stash of cardboard was emptied as the trash man came and picked them up. I ravaged the house in a somewhat caveman stupor as I tried to find something to start the charcoal. I finally found a spiraled notebook with some drawings and notes. I asked [Daughter] if I could use the said notebook. She said, "oh ya, dad, that's just fine". So I ripped out some pages and burned those babies up. The bricks were a fiery red inferno that cooked up those delicious hamburgers. After dinner was over, my wife made the comment to [Daughter], "hey I need to upload all of your work this week. Where did your notebook go?" The succulent hamburger dropped in the pit of my stomach where I realized that I had incinerated [Daughter]'s homework. As I reluctantly told my wife that I used her homework to start the fire, I thought my marriage was over.

So here we are. The homework is destroyed and I am a broken man, humbled by my own stupidity. Please accept my sincerest apologies and let me know what I need to do to repent of my sins.

Regretfully,

[Me]

TL:DR I was an idiot while looking for paper to start my BBQ bricks and used my daughter's homework on accident.

My 11-year-old daughter likes to watch prank videos on YouTube, I really don't care unless the videos include inappropriate stuff. Anyway.

A few weeks ago, she watched a video where some dudes filled a car tank with food. Fast forward to last week. I was emptying some older gas into my car tank with a funnel because I did not want to run it through the lawn mower. My daughter thought it was the perfect chance to pull a "prank" when I was getting gas for the mower and went and put a few cans of chili down the funnal.

The next day I was having trouble with the engine of my company car, so I had it towed to the company garage. They ended up charging me around $3,000 to get it fixed. When I confronted her, she confessed, saying she thought it would be "funny." I am now going to put restrictions on her iPad so she can't watch this kind of stuff.

TLDR My daughter put food in my gas tank as a "prank"

I did one of those age progression apps that aged me to age 70, and I showed it to my son not even thinking about the consequences of my actions… For a little back story, we just moved in with my best friend who recently lost her grandma to old age, it was my sons first exposure to passing away and he is very matter of fact about it. When my friend or her boys talk about her he will sometimes chime in with gems like, “yeah but she’s passed, so…” he has asked all of the normal questions about it that 4 year old's have, and I think he basically understands it.

His response to this pic was not what I was expecting. He completely broke down and for almost an hour he just cried and wailed, “I don’t want you to get old and pass away mama! Please don’t get old mama!”

He repeated it over and over, as if him saying it would somehow will me into existence forever. Nothing I could do or say could comfort him. He did this until he passed out. (It was bedtime) I think for the first time he realized that I would pass away too, and what that actually means. Did I traumatize my baby? I feel so stupid for showing him that picture, I should have known…

TLDR: I showed my son an age progressed picture and he proceeded to have a complete emotional breakdown.

My 3 yr old just switched daycares to this large center and the vibe from the admin staff is off. They all seem so uninterested in the parents and never really even say good morning. Especially the director, who is the boss of everyone there.

She looks like it pains her to smile. Think Mrs. Trunchbull from Matilda. It always gives me an uncomfortable feeling like they’re acting like they’re doing me a favor by letting us go there when, in reality, we pay 2600/mo for my two toddlers to attend. Now, I’m known for being sensitive to people’s attitude so I told my husband and he said he felt the same. He agreed that most of the admin staff at the front desk seemed like someone has spit in their Cheerios. Why work at a kid’s daycare if you’re going to be a grumpy F?

Anyway… I think I messed up and now I’m to the point of considering leaving. We got a survey about the center and what we think and I, moronically, thought it was private. I said what I felt about the staff and called the director out specifically. It wasn’t private. The director emailed me back with this weird apologetic email saying how she’s sorry I feel that way about her and the staff and her goal is to have a family like environment. I was mortified. Now, I feel so awkward whenever I go in there and nothing has changed, but now I feel like they all know and hate me.

I don’t know what to do. This is so awkward.

TL;DR I replied to what I thought was an anonymous survey from my kid’s daycare saying I felt the admin staff, and specifically the director, were cold and unfriendly and the director got my email and replied to me and now everything is weird.

Kinda more like today I realised I messed up to be honest but hey ho.

My son is 2 years old and for the longest time when something unexplainable happened like a broom just casually falling over, a car horn in the distance or even just someone tripping, me and my wife would joke that “oh it must’ve been the wind”. There’s been no malice in it if anything we’d laugh about it.

Today my son is currently refusing to go outside at all because of the wind… all his favourite things are outside but nothing is working to convince him to go. I honestly wish I was joking cause this is pretty funny but this is honestly probably gonna cause some issues when school rolled around. We also live on a coastal island in the UK so it’s windy almost all year round.

Anyways hopefully someone else can learn from my mistake and not become a elderscrolls npc and somehow scar their children.

TLDR: taught my son it must’ve been the wind when unexplainable things happen and now he’s afraid of the wind.

Once a week (usually Friday nights, but we had to move it to tonight this week) my husband and I have a nice date night. Sometimes we go out and either have one of our sets of parents or a babysitter watch them, sometimes we just have a very romantic dinner at home after the kids go to bed.

Tonight, my husband and I have a date night of the latter variety planned. My husband wanted to surprise me with what dinner would be tonight, so he got the groceries by himself. While he was out today shopping for all of the elements of our dinner, I was with the kids at home and doing the laundry. Our kids were all in the living room, with the younger 2 playing and our oldest (who's 10) watching a cooking show while he was weaving a potholder.

At one point, the presenter of the show mentioned that oysters (which were in the recipe) were aphrodisiacs. My son immediately asked me what that meant, and I told him that it's a food that's supposed to make you want to have intercourse. He said gross, then carried on watching. When my husband came home with the groceries, he called the kids over to help him put them away.

After a minute of putting things away, our oldest son yelled "ew!" My husband then laughed and asked what was wrong, and our son said "I know what oysters are for, dad" in the most disappointed tone I've ever heard him use to speak. He's been shooting both of us the most withering looks you can imagine from a 10 year old all afternoon. I think he's not enjoying the day too much.

TL;DR: I told my son what "aphrodisiac" means when it was mentioned on a show about oysters, and now he's grossed out and correctly guessed what my husband and I had in mind after dinner.

So my (34F) oldest kid (6M) is a big fan of the children's musical group/duo Koo Koo Kanga Roo. He discovered them about 2 years ago when his teacher played one of their songs in class, and his friends started playing their music and YouTube videos all the time.

When I found out he loved them I was really excited, because I had known one of the members (Bryan) and his siblings years ago, in my 20s. We all volunteered for Junior Rheumatoid Arthritis events because they had family ties to the disease and my cousin has suffered with it since he was a young kid. I told my son about this and at first he thought it was really cool! Now that the initial excitement has worn off, he no longer thinks it's all that cool or interesting, since he's heard the story a few times when his brother and sister started listening to them.

Well this morning when one of his favorite Koo Koo Kanga Roo songs came on in the car, I once again said something about knowing them and he rolled his eyes at me and told me he already knew that. Now, this is where I F-ed up. I wanted to impress him (because who doesn't want to seem cool to a 6yo) so I asked him if he knew that I used to date Koo Koo Kanga Roo's brother? (Bit of an exaggeration since we literally only went out ONCE, but again, I was determined to impress this 6yo kid. Mommy is cool, damn it.) He seemed confused by this, so I explained to him how people go on dates to learn more about other people and see if they fall in love or want to get married, etc. So Mommy dated Koo Koo Kanga Roo's brother, but eventually ended up meeting Daddy and falling in love with him.

Well, this finally gets him invested in my story and after sitting there BEWILDERED for a couple minutes he bursts out "so instead of Uncle Ryan I could have had Uncle Koo Koo Kanga Roo?!??"

And now he's mad at me. Because his Uncle isn't Koo Koo Kanga Roo. I may have destroyed his childhood.

TL ; DR TIFU by telling my son I used to date Koo Koo Kanga Roo's brother, and now he's mad at me because his Uncle isn't Koo Koo Kanga Roo.

TIFU This happened 2 years ago. I dropped off my 7 year old daughter to her dance class. The entrance is on the side of the building. I had my other 2 kids in the car (aged 9 and 11, boys). The boys were distracting me with their nonsense.

It was a cold day. I went home, her class ended in an hour. My wife was doing the pickup. My wife called me an hour later really upset. Apparently class was cancelled at last minute that day and neither of us saw the email. My poor sweet angel stood outside the dance studio crying for an hour. The doors were locked.

My wife came home in tears. My daughter was in tears. I grabbed my daughter apologizing and I broke down in tears. She said was so scared and didn't know what to do.

It's all my fault. I wasn't paying attention. I usually walk her in to the dance studio. Make sure she is all set, but that day I got lazy and let her do it herself.

All future dropoffs I walk her in and make sure. Never again. I still get upset when I think about it.

TL;DR dropped off my 7 year old daughter at her dance class, class was cancelled and I didn't walk her in to make she was handed off safely. She was stranded for an hour crying.

Obligatory, this happened last night and this morning.

Yesterday my 4 year old was very well behaved, so I said she could have a special treat. She asked if I could build a fire in the fireplace. I gathered the wood and tinder, lit it, and went about the day while the kids sat nearby and enjoyed the warmth of a cozy fire. After giving them their dinner, the fire was just about burnt out. I decided to scoop the ashes into this little chute thatt goes down into the basement for collection. My 4yo asked what I was doing. I explained "Sweetheart, this is a hole in the fireplace that the ashes go down so I can clean them up later from the basement." She seemed to think really hard about this for a second, but I payed it no mind.

Fast forward to this morning. My wife and I are getting the kids ready, dressed, breakfast, coats, shoes etc. My 4yo is making some clanging noise in the living room. Wife yells "Hey Mandy (not her real name) what are you doing in there?!?" to which she replies "Cleaning Daddy's ash-hole!".

I run to the living room and she's literally half in the fireplace, covered in soot, opening and closing the door. My wife, now super pissed at me for "teaching her bad words" is pulling her out of the fireplace while I'm practically in tears laughing. I went full asthmatic, laughingcoughing so hard I needed a ventolin inhaler. I explained to wife what actually happened, and she thinks it's funny now too. Lets just hope this doesn't get repeated at preschool.


TLDR; I told my 4 year old the fireplace ashes get put down a hole, and she inferred this is called the ash-hole

My daughter has never had a birthday party before, she has always struggled to make friends. She has really put herself out there and actually made friends with a group of girls and I'm very proud of her so when she asked for a birthday party this year, I was happy to oblige. Her birthday party was this past Saturday.

We had decorated our place with balloons and stuff. We set up the food, snacks, and cake and the party packs that we chose together. My daughter kept straightening things up trying to make sure everything looked perfect, she was very excited. The only people who showed up to the party were the elderly neighbours that my daughter and I are close to and a friend of mine and his fiancee.

My daughter spent almost the whole day looking out the window waiting for her friends to show up and not one of them did, it was sad to witness. When the day came to an end, she cried in my arms sad that not even one of her friends came. It was very hard to witness, she even went to bed earlier than her bed time because she was so upset.

I was really sad for her and found myself messaging the parents of the girls. I went on a rant telling them that it was really inconsiderate of them to not show up to my daughter's party when they said they would, my daughter was really looking forward to it only for her friends to not show up and she was left completely heartbroken, they could have the decency to let me know at least. I then promptly blocked them. I unblocked them the next day after calming down and apologized for being overly emotional but I think the damage had already been done.

Well thanks to my little blow up, the friends that my daughter worked so hard to make are now avoiding her and although my daughter says it's okay and that she will make new friends, I know that she is pretty heartbroken. I am now regretting and wondering if I could have had a much better approach.

TL:DR Blew up at the parents of my daughter's friends for not showing up to her birthday party and I think I have sabotaged her friendships.

So technically not today. My daughter will be 7 soon. But we named her Marie. (And yes, I know that is your middle name or your mom's middle name or your sisters middle name. She gets that a lot.) Anyway, we weren't planning on giving her a nickname at all. But my 2 year old twin nieces at the time had a funny way of talking and would call her, "Baby Murray." which we all thought was insanely funny and cute. And "Baby Murray" stuck. Fast forward a few years and she demands we drop the baby. But I start to realize around this time she is exclusively referring to herself as "Murray." and cannot hear the difference between Marie and Murray. So I start making an effort to say "Marie" exclusively. A few more years later and she is in kindergarten and I start realizing she still calls herself Murray, and all her classmates call her Murray too. So I start attempting to get her to say it properly, but it backfires because now when she is saying her name she puts the emphasis on the first syllable. So she introduces herself as, "MUH-rie" which always has people looking at me confused like, "Wait, what is her name?" And she still cannot hear the difference between Marie and Murray. So either it is "MUH-rie" or "Murray." I tried explaining emphasis of Marie is on the "rie" and she just looked at me confused.

TL;DR I named my daughter Marie nickname Murray, and she can't hear the difference and just calls herself Murray.

I have nobody to share this with because I am beyond mortified and embarrassed so I’m posting on here.

Today I had a very busy day ahead of me, I’ve been running around cleaning and doing laundry and grocery shopping, you know typical mom things.

When I got back from the store I figured I should take a Ritalin to kinda give myself a little extra boost ( they’re prescribed, relax) I usually only take half of one and save the other half for another day, when I’m out and about I keep the half I save in a zip lock so I don’t have to bring the whole bottle with me.

That was my first mistake, coincidentally my daughter also lost a tooth this morning so I also put her tooth in a little baggy to keep it safe until we got home.

I didn’t even think about the tooth until I took the bag out and swallowed what I thought was my half pill and I only realized when it felt sharp going down. I AM HORRIFIED. Before I get bashed for not realizing it was a tooth, 7 year olds teeth are so small and roughly the same size as my Ritalin. I also have to make up a story for my daughter because she’s going to want to put her tooth under her pillow tonight 😭

TLDR: I mixed up my medication with my daughter’s tooth she lost this morning because they were both in the same kind of zip lock bag

We all want our kids to be nice people and not jerks. I try to show my daughter positive shows which talk about being good, doing good and helping others.

Recently she watched a song video about an orphan boy being told not to cry and how his friends would give him love as they give him a tissue and hugs.

Normally my daughter being a two year old would learn some lyrics and prevent from me sleeping as she makes me repeat after her for a few hours. HOWEVER THAT TISSUE in the video HIT HOME.

She was grabbing cloths and going around the house dabbing eyes and telling us not to cry. Just overall cuteness.

After a few days it became a common theme around the house she walks up tells you not to cry and dabs your eyes with a cloth.... UNTIL YOUR EYES BEGIN TO BURN

She found the glass cleaner applied it generously on a glasses cloth and rubbed deeply into my eyes.

Why I'm typing and making it worse I'm not sure

Tl;dr: daughter learned compassion from YouTube and performed chemical warfare on my eyes

So I know I'm a bad parent. I don't censor anything we watch so my 4 year old son had seen countless horror movies and violent video games. Rather than be afraid or become violent, he has instead taken a reasonable mindset of "________ gotta eat too". Velociraptor, monsters, zombies, whatever, just insert it into that sentence and he's said it with a shrugg. I've been letting him watch me play Bloodborne lately and he actully thanked me for being a hunter and killing the "bad guys". This kid is awesome. Or so I thought....

Today we were fighting with his toy dinosaurs, baryonix vs velocirsptor. Fun times. But then he told me to pick up my pretend controller to make them fight. As soon I picked it up he said "you died already. Try again". Every time we went to fight it was the same thing "you died, try again". I was like, dude, you didn't even give me a chance! Then he told me "but that's what what you always so in your game, die at the start of the fight..." ...mother.....

TL/DR: I let my 4 year old son watch me play Bloodborne and now he trolls me for dying too much.

This happened earlier today.

We (14 members of my family) are currently on holiday in a rented house on the coast in the UK to celebrate my dad turning 70.

I have a 5yo son and an 11month old daughter. My daughter is very good at getting hold of things she shouldn’t be having (such as tv controls, small toys belonging to her bro etc)

At the rented house is a small-ish fountain. My daughter is VERY interested in this and I’ve had to prevent several soakings this week.

Today, she was toddling around inside the house. I sat on the sofa for 2mins, thinking she couldn’t get out.

Then I realised the garden door was open. I went out immediately and discovered she had picked up the tv remote on her way and it was now submerged in the fountain.

I rescued it, dried it off and it’s currently sat in rice. But I have no idea what I’m going to tell the guy we’ve rented the house from if it doesn’t work 😳

My daughter thought it was funny and was giggling like mad. Total pest, but cute as anything.

TL; DR: I didn’t notice my daughter had taken the remote control for the tv in my holiday rental and submerged it in the fountain in the garden and now it doesn’t work.

Happened yesterday, but I still feel horrible. A little backstory: I work 12-16 hour days sometimes and my short term memory is getting increasingly worse. Not sure if the two are related.

Anyway, I don't usually give my kid sugary snacks, but that day she had been especially good, so I wanted to reward her. My kid is allergic to a good amount of stuff, and I'm usually very particular about what I do and don't give her. I have these tiny individually wrapped Snickers, and not thinking, I gave it to her.

All of a sudden, she says, "Mommy, my cheeks are hurting because I ate big chocolate". I'm thinking she's just complaining because she wants more than what I gave her, so I tell her, "Ok then. You wont have to worry about mommy giving you any more "big chocolate".

But then after a few minutes, she starts getting antsy and whiny. So I ask her what's wrong, and she repeated it, and that's when it dawned on me what was in the Snickers. Thank God peanuts don't cause her to go into anaphylactic shock, but it does cause really bad swelling. The "big chocolate" was her feeling her mouth swelling (including her gums).

I rushed to the kitchen to get her Citirizine (baby Zyrtec) and tried to asses the damage I had done. I look in her mouth, and her jaws and lips are completely swollen. I was on video chat with my husband, and I think I freaked him out, so he rushed home from work. She's fine and all, but I still feel horrible because I'm her mother. My job is to protect her and not hurt her. And how bad off am I that I could forget the ONE big thing she's allergic to?

TL; DR-Gave my kid a snack with peanuts. Caused an allergic reaction. Freaked my husband out. All ended well, but I feel absolutely horrible.