Argue all you want, but deep down inside, we all know that being a mom is the hardest job on the planet. Especially so if you're a mom to a human baby - the most imperfect of all mammal babies with its hairless skin, wicked thermoregulation, gassy tummy, poopy pants, and the inability to run from danger right after birth. See how much harder the task becomes when your baby is basically a helpless egg? Well, helpless but at least a terribly, incredibly, devastatingly adorable, life-changing, heavenly egg. But let's go back to the behemoth task of being a mom. As we've all agreed, it's incredibly hard, right? And what do you do with things in life that are fabulously arduous? You make fun of them, of course! So, to all the moms-to-be, the seasoned moms, and hopeful moms, we present our list of the funniest mom quotes that we could find!
This is a real compendium of mom life troubles - from babies and their sharp nails lovingly scratching your face to blaming your farts on them; no topic is beyond limits in these mommy quotes. However, all of them carry the notion of a mother's love with it, so even the most hilarious jokes are really an expression of this all-encompassing love that a mother feels for her children. So, laugh at them all you want, Mom, without feeling any unease by amusing yourself about your little bundle of trouble!
I guess you're on limited time here, Mom, so without any further ado, let's just skip right to the funny quotes. All of them are just a little bit further down, as they always are. Once you are there, vote for the cute mom quotes that you've enjoyed the most, but be sure to laugh quickly so as not to wake your sleeping angel! Also, don't forget to share these silly quotes with your friends, as they might need some comic relief from their duties, too.
#101
“You’ll never need coffee more than the day after ‘Yes Day!” - Jennifer Garner
unknown
Report17points
#102
“Everyone's at different ages and levels, everyone's into different stuff. But everyone is into slime.” - Maya Rudolph
unknown
Report17points
#103
"Becoming a mom to me means you have accepted that for the next 16 years of your life, you will have a sticky purse." - Nia Vardalos
unknown
Report16points
#104
"Waking your kids up for school the first day after a break is almost as much fun as birthing them was." - Jenny McCarthy
unknown
Report16points
#105
"A toy Tamagotchi is more communicative than a human baby, OK? Because the toy will at least tell you when it poos." - Ali Wong
unknown
Report16points
#106
"I used to give my friends who have kids advice all the time, and they would look at me like I had three heads. And then, when I had two, I literally apologized to all my friends." - Jennifer Lopez
unknown
Report16points
#107
"Some days the only way you stand a chance at surviving is to serve all-beige food, turn on YouTube and let the kids hang out pantsless."
unknown
Report16points
#108
"90 percent of parenting is passing out snacks and counting down the minutes until nap time."
unknown
Report16points
#109
"If you stare longingly at your bathtub more than you do at your partner, you might be a mom."
unknown
Report15points
#110
"Have you ever noticed that the camaraderie between siblings is never greater than when the word "bedtime" is uttered? They seemingly in unison become dehydrated, giggle monsters scared of absolutely nothing."
unknown
Report15points
#111
“Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first.” - Mignon McLaughlin.
unknown
Report15points
#112
“I know how to do anything I'm a mom.” - Roseanne Barr
unknown
Report15points
#113
"Sometimes I stand there going, 'I'm not doing any of this right!' And then I get this big man belch out of her and I go, 'Ah, we accomplished this together.'"
unknown
Report14points
#114
“I can’t believe how much like my mother I turned out. I feel sorry for my kids.” - Melanie White
unknown
Report14points
#115
"I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours." - Rita Rudner
unknown
Report14points
#116
"Telling your kids you will see them in the morning is the greatest lie ever told. You will see them ten more times within the next hour and probably twenty more times before the sun rises."
unknown
Report14points
#117
"I met my match. She is very demanding, like, I can’t believe I have a boss. When my baby wanna eat, she wanna eat. It’s not like, “Oh three minutes?” No. Give me the milk now." - Cardi B
unknown
Report13points
#118
“In the end, mothers are always right. No one else tells the truth.” - Randy Susan Meyers
unknown
Report13points
#119
“If you don’t know about ‘Baby Shark’ or ‘Let it Go,’ you need to turn in your parent card."
unknown
Report12points
#120
"Dreams of a mother include: seeing your child graduate, witnessing your kid find true love, and someday finishing a meal without having to get up and retrieve more ketchup."
unknown
Report12points
