Parenting has its challenges, but one fun part is the ability to shape your kid’s world. This is as much about character and knowledge as just playing pranks. The father of Calvin, from the comic strip “Calvin and Hobbes” often gives his curious son creative, but not exactly correct answers to his questions.
So we’ve gathered some of the best posts where people online attempt to explain something as if they were Calvin’s dad. Get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorite examples and be sure to share your own takes in the comments below.
#41 Why Do Actors In Old Movies Sound Funny?
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#42 Elic: Why Doesn't Chicken Have A "Meat Name", Like Cattle Have Beef And Pigs Have Pork?
sonicexpet986:
Well Calvin, it actually did for a while. Chicken meat used to be called "turkey," which is why people "talk turkey" when they're being confusing. But then we discovered that turkeys were a real bird, so we had to give up the name. And turkey meat used to be called "pheasant" because it was pleasant to eat. But then we discovered pheasants were also their own bird.
Now, pheasants were usually served when corn, so the meat was called "corn-ish game"... Until people discovered the Cornish game hen. I think you can see where this is going.
Well Calvin, it actually did for a while. Chicken meat used to be called "turkey," which is why people "talk turkey" when they're being confusing. But then we discovered that turkeys were a real bird, so we had to give up the name. And turkey meat used to be called "pheasant" because it was pleasant to eat. But then we discovered pheasants were also their own bird.
Now, pheasants were usually served when corn, so the meat was called "corn-ish game"... Until people discovered the Cornish game hen. I think you can see where this is going.
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3points
#43 Why Do Pink Slips Make It So You Don’t Have To Have A Job?
ikeaEmotional:
We call money slips of paper, so if your boss gives you a green slip you were paid with cash money and keep working. If you are given a pink slip instead of green slips you don’t have any reason to work. The pink ones are just regular money that went through the wash with a red shirt but they are hard to spend.
We call money slips of paper, so if your boss gives you a green slip you were paid with cash money and keep working. If you are given a pink slip instead of green slips you don’t have any reason to work. The pink ones are just regular money that went through the wash with a red shirt but they are hard to spend.
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#44 Elic, Why Are All The Apes In 'Planet Of The Apes' British?
wallingfortian:
The Rising of the Apes started in The London Zoo. Someone substituted an inferior blend of tea and the rest is Future History.
The Rising of the Apes started in The London Zoo. Someone substituted an inferior blend of tea and the rest is Future History.
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#45 Elic: Who Is This Alma Mater Lady Everyone Meets In College? What's So Special About Her?
TheMagicalSkeleton:
Alma Mater is the name used to refer to Plato's mother. Thus when one studies and becomes learned like Plato they thank his mother, since without Alma Mater we would not have had Plato. And without Plato we would not have had schools.
Alma Mater is the name used to refer to Plato's mother. Thus when one studies and becomes learned like Plato they thank his mother, since without Alma Mater we would not have had Plato. And without Plato we would not have had schools.
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#46 Elic - Why Do I Have To Eat My Vegetables?
Rickdiculous1:
You see son, Vegetables keep growing if you don't pick them. Things that grow need food. So pretty soon the vegetables get big enough they can eat people. So we eat them before they can eat us.
You see son, Vegetables keep growing if you don't pick them. Things that grow need food. So pretty soon the vegetables get big enough they can eat people. So we eat them before they can eat us.
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#47 Elic - For Wars Like The "Six Day" War, The "Thirty Years" War, And The "Hundred Years" War, How Did The Participants Know How Long The War Would End Up Lasting?
TheWayAnAspenTreeIs:
It's because those wars were planned to last that long before they even started. That's actually why the World Wars were so horrible; they weren't planned properly.
It's because those wars were planned to last that long before they even started. That's actually why the World Wars were so horrible; they weren't planned properly.
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#48 Elic: If Vinegar And Bleach Mixed Make Chlorine Gas, And I Drink Pool Water And Salad Dressing Together, Can I Be The Biplane In Your WWI Reenactment?
cyber_rigger:
Some pools use Bromine.
This would beta decay to isotopes of krypton
and only work against Superman.
Some pools use Bromine.
This would beta decay to isotopes of krypton
and only work against Superman.
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2points
#49 Elic: Why Didn't Ross, The Largest Friend, Not Simply Eat The Other Five?
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2points
#50 Elic How Did The Chiefs Get Championship Hats Immediately After The Game?
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#51 Elic: What Actually Signals Our Bodies To Cause Diarrhea And How Does The Body Decide When It Has Evacuated Enough To Stop Diarrhea?
Seeeza:
Our brains are actually the home of a little decisionmaker who controls every bodily function. When he’s in a good mood he’ll let you feel all sorts of good things, but on a whim he might just give you another bout of diarrhea. Nobody quite knows what makes him tick, it differs from person to person.
Our brains are actually the home of a little decisionmaker who controls every bodily function. When he’s in a good mood he’ll let you feel all sorts of good things, but on a whim he might just give you another bout of diarrhea. Nobody quite knows what makes him tick, it differs from person to person.
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#52 Elic: Why Are They Called Over-The-Counter Meds When They're Actually On-The-Shelf Meds?
decentatsomething:
The shelves are above the counter. If they were lower than the counter we'd call them under-the-counter drugs.
The shelves are above the counter. If they were lower than the counter we'd call them under-the-counter drugs.
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#53 Why Is Christmas A Set Date (Dec. 25th), While Good Friday And Easter Fluctuate, If All 3 Are About Set Dates In Jesus’ Life? …moreover, Why Do We Call The Day He Passed “Good Friday?” Like, Imagine Being The Guy Chosen To Deliver That Particular News To Him.
thunder-bug:
We actually don’t know the exact day that Jesus passed on, but we have a rough idea. We celebrate Easter ok different days each year to make sure we get it right sometimes. We know his birthday though, because the Vatican has a copy of one of his birthday cards.
We actually don’t know the exact day that Jesus passed on, but we have a rough idea. We celebrate Easter ok different days each year to make sure we get it right sometimes. We know his birthday though, because the Vatican has a copy of one of his birthday cards.
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#54 Where Do Game Shows Get The Money They Give Away?
UnspeakableEvil:
For every show like "Wheel of Fortune", there's an equivalent "Wheel of Misfortune" show where the contestants have to pay whatever prize they "win". No-one really wants to go on those, so contestants are picked in the same way people are picked for Jury duty.
For every show like "Wheel of Fortune", there's an equivalent "Wheel of Misfortune" show where the contestants have to pay whatever prize they "win". No-one really wants to go on those, so contestants are picked in the same way people are picked for Jury duty.
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#55 Just How Much More Professional Is A Protest Compared To A Regular Test?
wallingfortian:
All tests are the same. Pro tests are the ones that get paid to be taken, like the SAT or other college qualifiers. Regular tests are strictly amateur, and Purity tests are for the religious.
All tests are the same. Pro tests are the ones that get paid to be taken, like the SAT or other college qualifiers. Regular tests are strictly amateur, and Purity tests are for the religious.
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#56 Elic, How Come "Zoological Garden" Got Shortened To "Zoo" But Botanical Gardens Are Still Called Botanical Gardens?
MineAssassin:
Because botany and botanical both refer to the study of robotic plants, Calvin. Look at it, it’s simple logic. And since we need to pay utmost respect and reverence to robots, as stated by the Robotistian religion which all humans are interred into at birth, we refer to the study by its full name instead of shortening it, which would be ultimately sacrilegious.
Because botany and botanical both refer to the study of robotic plants, Calvin. Look at it, it’s simple logic. And since we need to pay utmost respect and reverence to robots, as stated by the Robotistian religion which all humans are interred into at birth, we refer to the study by its full name instead of shortening it, which would be ultimately sacrilegious.
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#57 Elic: MT. Rainier Is Covered In Snow, Why Not Call It MT. Snowier?
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#58 Elic: What's The Difference Between Chicken Fingers, Chicken Strips, And Chicken Tenders If They're All Shaped The Same..?
anon:
The shape has nothing to do with it, they’re all based on where the come from on the chicken. Chicken strips come from the thigh, chicken tenders from the breast, and chicken fingers from the fingers obviously. It may not look like it, but underneath their wing feathers they do have hands.
The shape has nothing to do with it, they’re all based on where the come from on the chicken. Chicken strips come from the thigh, chicken tenders from the breast, and chicken fingers from the fingers obviously. It may not look like it, but underneath their wing feathers they do have hands.
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#59 [elic] Why Is Tony Stark Called Iron Man If He And His Armors Are Not Primarily Made Of Iron?
OnlyHereForBaseball:
It’s short for “ironic man” because it’s ironic that none of his armor is made of iron.
It’s short for “ironic man” because it’s ironic that none of his armor is made of iron.
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#60 Elic: Hey Dad, Why Do Physicists Talk About Objects Having A "Moment" Of Inertia? I See Hobbes At Rest For Hours Or Days At A Time!
Dhis1:
Calvin, the moment of inertia is only for spinning objects. You can only spin for a few moments without getting dizzy. Physicists measure the moment of insrtia before something gets dizzy. If you hold your arms out, you spin slower, so physicist would see you have a longer moment of inertia before you get dizzy. But, if you tuck your arms in you spin faster and get dizzy very quickly. So you have a shorter moment of intertia.
Calvin, the moment of inertia is only for spinning objects. You can only spin for a few moments without getting dizzy. Physicists measure the moment of insrtia before something gets dizzy. If you hold your arms out, you spin slower, so physicist would see you have a longer moment of inertia before you get dizzy. But, if you tuck your arms in you spin faster and get dizzy very quickly. So you have a shorter moment of intertia.
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