Nobody would like to end up on the wrong side of the court hearing (or any side at all), because your life belongs solely to the decision of a judge and the work of your lawyer. But what if your lawyer is nothing like Saul Goodman and more like a babbling schoolgirl?
Despite the seriousness, courtroom drama, and everything that happens in it, this place also produces hilarious (unintentional) comedy. Charles M. Sevilla has compiled some of the funniest exchanges from justice halls between defendants and plaintiffs, lawyers and witnesses, juries and judges, and released a book of court records called “Disorder in the Court”.
From witnesses taking questions literally to lawyers formulating paradoxes instead of problems, these funny court cases really happened, and they’re just too good not to face the judgment of the internet. Scroll down to enjoy this priceless list of funny court transcripts, and vote for your favorite entries!
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#41
LAWYER: Can you tell us what was stolen from your house?
WITNESS: There was a rifle that belonged to my father that was stolen from the hall closet.
LAWYER: Can you identify the rifle?
WITNESS: Yes. There was something written on the side of it.
LAWYER: And what did the writing say?
WITNESS: 'Winchester'!
WITNESS: There was a rifle that belonged to my father that was stolen from the hall closet.
LAWYER: Can you identify the rifle?
WITNESS: Yes. There was something written on the side of it.
LAWYER: And what did the writing say?
WITNESS: 'Winchester'!
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81points
#43
LAWYER: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
WITNESS: I went to Europe, sir.
LAWYER: And you took your new wife?
WITNESS: I went to Europe, sir.
LAWYER: And you took your new wife?
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78points
#44
LAWYER: Officer, what led you to believe the defendant was under the influence?
WITNESS: Because he was argumentary, and he couldn't pronunciate his words.
WITNESS: Because he was argumentary, and he couldn't pronunciate his words.
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78points
#45
LAWYER: Did you blow your horn or anything?
WITNESS: After the accident?
LAWYER: Before the accident.
WITNESS: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.
WITNESS: After the accident?
LAWYER: Before the accident.
WITNESS: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.
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77points
#46
LAWYER: You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?
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77points
#47
LAWYER: And you check your radar unit frequently?
Officer: Yes, I do.
LAWYER: And was your radar unit functioning correctly at the time you had the plaintiff on radar?
Officer: Yes, it was malfunctioning correctly.
Officer: Yes, I do.
LAWYER: And was your radar unit functioning correctly at the time you had the plaintiff on radar?
Officer: Yes, it was malfunctioning correctly.
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76points
#48
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
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73points
#49
LAWYER: Do you drink when you're on duty?
WITNESS: I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk.
WITNESS: I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk.
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73points
Between things lawyers say and hilarious testimonies, we hope you got some genuine laughs from this! Now, it’s your turn to weigh in—drop a comment with your favorite moments from the list and upvote the ones that tickled your funny bone the most.