57 Hilarious Things People Said Under Anesthesia That Had Doctors Holding Back Laughter

I had gotten 4 wisdom teeth out in July, and I was under anesthesia for an hour. When I was done, I woke up in a chair and asked the nurse where I was. She said I was at the dentist and I said “STILL?????? JESUS CHRIST.” And she thought that was funny. On the drive home, there was a turtle in the road! My mom stopped to let him pass and I got out and tried to catch him. I have a video of me laughing at the turtle.

Oh god I woke up sobbing. I was convinced that I was married to Cedric Diggory and he had just been ended by Voldemort. I’m cringing so hard just thinking about it. I was inconsolable.

When I was a toddler, my mom fell off our roof and broke her back. Apparently she was terrified she was going to become a vegetable, because after her back surgery she asked the nurse, "Am I a broccoli, or a cauliflower?".

Vet tech here.
Dogs and cats come out of anesthesia in an assortment of different ways. But this one husky I swear lifted his head and said. “thank you” in that strange way that some dogs can actually sound human in their bark/voice.

The other tech and I just looked at each other and said, “holy hell, did he literally just say that?!?!

Anesthesiologist here. During recovery from general anesthesia, I called one of my patients by his full name in a loud voice. He opened his eyes suddenly jumped upright and sit on the bed and he said something : Sir, yes sir! He was under military service at that time.

I sat straight up in the bed (they tell me) and shouted "I DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS!" Then I turned to a nurse and pleaded, "Okay, ma'am?".

“I’m preparing to salsa dance”.

The most memorable funny one was a guy who sat bolt upright, mime rolling a cigarette and tuck it behind his ear “saving it for ‘ron” when I asked what he was doing.

Anaesthesia can be a wild trip.

The kids will always scream when they wake up.

I had double jaw surgery to correct my underbite.

I took sign language in college.

They typically don’t wire your jaw shut anymore, they just use strong rubber bands, but you can still talk. I knew I’d be able to talk.

Yet when I woke up from the surgery, apparently I kept trying to sign. The nurses were like: “Uhh, we don’t know sign language, honey.”

Based on how little I remember from college, I’m certain it wasn’t even *good* sign language.

I was the patient, but right before Christmas a couple of years ago I had my gallbladder removed. In the recovery room as I was waking up I became obsessed with singing the 12 Days of Christmas song. I kept asking the nurses what order the verses were in. As they were wheeling me out of the room I heard a nurse belt out "Five golden rings!" Which was followed by everyone's laughter.

I’m a doctor and was getting a knee reconstruction, and asked one of my best friend’s dad to do my anaesthetic. He was head of department at the hospital I worked at at the time.

Apparently after he gave me the Midazolam (to chill time out and basically I forget everything from then on), he inserted a local anaesthetic block into my leg.

The next day he told me what happened..

Apparently, I then told him it’s not working and he should have done it higher up and o tried to grab the needle from him to show him, after I asked if he knew what he was doing. I also complained the bed was cold.

We still have a good laugh about it.

Anesthesiologist told me that as I was going down that I was describing my fingers feeling like French fries, but French fries after you take them home and put them in microwave so they’re soggy and not as good.

I start singing when I wake up from anesthesia. Rando songs like Bonny M's Rasputin or the theme song from Spiderman.

When the doctor comes in to talk to me I keep going and get louder. My last doctor started singing along which I really appreciated. Side note: I'm tone deaf.

I also called a nurse a strong elf this last time. I have also done history lectures (my topic of choice is medieval European history).

TLDR: Grandma thinks she's Jesus Christ reborn and I try to sing Christmas carols.

Grandma: A few years ago, she broke her wrist and had to have surgery to get a metal plate put in. In the operating room, she was on the table and her arm (with the broken wrist in question) was strapped to an arm extension, so she looked like she was put on the cross with one arm.

She had been given anesthesia (she was still conscious) and a nurse was standing next to her.

"How're you feeling, Jan?" the nurse asked.

With a monotone voice, my grandma looked the nurse in the eye and said,"I am Jesus Christ."

Me: I had to get a few cavities filled last year after school. After checking in and getting in the chair, they administered the lidocaine (dental anesthesia) and nitrous oxide (laughing gas). I should mention that this happened a couple months after December.

During the operation, I took a deep breath through my nose and the gas mixed with the anesthesia really hit me. I felt like I was floating in space.

What do you do when you're floating in space?

Sing Christmas Carols of course!

The dentist and the assistant, having filled two cavities at this point, were double checking the x-rays before starting the third filling. I started trying to sing "Jingle Bells" while they got started on that filling. My face was too numb to actually make any sounds audible.

For the rest of the other fillings, I tried to impress the world with my singing.

My uncle kept saying one of the nurses was a werewolf whenever she left the room.

When I was coming to from my wisdom teeth removal I kept asking where my teeth were. They had tossed them and I was super upset.

“But I need them for the tooth fairy. That jerk owes me a lot of money.”

My mother who was there then said “you know I’m the tooth fairy right?”

“Yes”

Sorry mom.

I was coming out of anesthesia for a scope of my esophagus. As I was awaking the nurse palpated my stomach and commented "good, nice and soft" to which I groggily replied "that's because I don't work out".

A girl I worked with told the story of how she got grounded from age 15-18 because of anaesthesia.

She was having a colonoscopy, and as she was a minor her mother was in the room with her. After she was sedated, and as the technician started to insert the scope, she mumbled, "No, not again, [boyfriend's name], it hurt last time."

Her mother was not amused.

“Am I in hell?”.

IANAD but when my sister got her wisdom teeth out she screamed in the car until we stopped and let her out (near our house) and she sprinted back to the house because she wanted to race the car... I need to go find that video.

Not a doctor but my grandma was still loopy from surgery when they brought her lunch, including a roll with a little pat of butter. She looked at grandpa and said, “I hope they don’t expect me to eat ALL THAT BUTTER!”.