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35 Times A Friend Did One Thing So Disturbing It Changed How People Saw Them Forever

35 Times A Friend Did One Thing So Disturbing It Changed How People Saw Them Forever

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Friendships usually start with good vibes, laughs, and the belief that you’ve figured someone out early on. At first, everything feels simple because this person is funny, that one is reliable, and they're definitely one of the good ones. However, people are a lot more complicated than first impressions suggest, and sometimes it takes just one unexpected detail to completely flip how you see someone.
When someone asked netizens to share what they learned about a friend that suddenly made them despise them, they didn’t hold back. From hidden double lives to jaw-dropping confessions and unexpected betrayals, these revelations left people seeing their friends in a whole new light, and not in a good way.
More info: Reddit

#1

A hand lighting a lighter in the dark, symbolizing disturbing things friends learn.
A friend of mine was telling me a story and he was laughing so hard as he told it he was almost in tears from laughing...

He saw this man walking down the street who had cerebral palsy, so he asked him for a light for his cigarette. My "buddy" mimicked the poor guy shaking trying to get the lighter out of his pocket and was just laughing and laughing... He thought it was the funniest, most hilarious thing he ever saw...

I never talked to him again... And I hope he gets the same darn thing as the poor man he was laughing at. What an absolute jerk....
32points

#2

Three colorful cocktails a bright yellow, deep red, and vibrant green sit on a bar, representing disturbing things people learned about their friends.
I had a friend in college from some classes. Didn't know him too well, but I started dating a new girl and they were friends. So, one night, the three of us went out for drinks with three other girls. The 4 girls all went to use the restroom together (Women...) and he and I stayed at the table.

He broke out a little plastic baggie of pills and dropped one in the drink of one of the girls. He didn't even bother trying to hide what he was doing from me; he just kind of grinned. When the girls got back, I poured the drink out and loudly announced what he had done. I never saw that guy again.

Edit- spelling.
28points

#3

A young man in a dark jacket and jeans strides across a crosswalk on a city street, symbolizing disturbing things people learned about their friends.
A few years ago I was in the passenger's seat of my friend's car when he hit someone in a crosswalk. He didn't want to stop, but I yelled at him till he eventually pulled over. When we went back to see if the guy was okay, the guy said he thought he should go to a hospital. I took my cell out and called an ambulance while my friend was talking to the guy. When the guy asked what my friend's name was, he looked at me, looked back at the guy and gave him a false name. Right after I called the ambulance I also called the cops. I never spoke to him again after that incident.
26points

One of the key reasons people can feel so shocked when learning something unexpected about a friend is the way early impressions shape how that person is perceived over time. Psychotricks explains that the halo effect plays a major role in this process, where a single strong trait such as charisma, confidence, humor, or kindness, can lead others to assume that the person is generally well-rounded in all areas.

This mental shortcut helps friendships form quickly because positive assumptions make someone easier to trust and like. However, it also creates blind spots, where behaviors that don’t align with that idealized image are more easily excused, minimized, or simply not noticed until much later.

#4

A smiling woman offering a cookie, a contrast to disturbing things people learned about their friends.
I wouldn't have ever called him a friend, but I had a longtime acquaintance in high school that pulled some stunt. We were in a class with an amazingly nice, always helpful, and just all around awesome teacher, who recently lost her husband to cancer, and she was selling baked goods to raise money for a cancer drive. The acquaintance of mine didn't have money but wanted some food, and I had money and didn't want any, so I lent him a few bucks. He goes up to the crowd of people buying items, and comes back with three bags of cookies, and hands me my money back. I just looked up at him confused, and he just grinned hugely, and wagged his fingers, saying "Five finger discount", and then started laughing. Sure, three bags of cookies wasn't a big deal, but I've never been more disgusted with a person. I payed the teacher the money she was supposed to have, and also told the guy's girlfriend what he did. Realizing I was pissed, he then spread a rumor that I was trying to spread a rumor about him, to cover his own a*s. I never really did anything other than just pay the teacher back, but I guess that he was scared of the social stigma that me telling the story could have, and acted preemptively.
25points

#5

A person with clasped hands praying over an open Bible, illustrating disturbing things people learn about friends.
I found out the other day that one of my friends was a hardcore born-again christian. I have absolutely no problems with people being religious, but when you start saying that i cannot be a good person without God, that gay people are an abomination and black people are below us because your 'God' says so, i can't handle that.
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24points

#6

A woman looking sad and disturbed, reflecting things people learned about their friends that made them see them differently.
I have a friend who is known to be stingy. You can't split a bill with her at a restaurant because any way you do it, it's wrong. She bought her girlfriend a pair of sunglasses, and when she gave them to her she said "I only got you these because they're buy one get one free and I got one for myself". (Don't ask me why they're still together).


She has a well-paying job, a car, and her parents paid for college. There is no absolute necessary reason for her to be this way, she just is. The real kicker where I discovered how much of a real jerk she is was the day I found out that, for her entire college career, she scammed her parents into both paying for her apartment so she could pocket the extra money.


Her parents are divorced. She would call her mom up and ask for that month's rent money plus some other expenses. Then she'd call her dad and do the exact same thing. She knew they did not communicate with each other about her college expenses because she would ask when she needed money. Her parents are financially sound but not "rich" by any means, but they provide for their family.


I have no respect for that friend anymore.


Side story: Her mom sent her a hallmark card for Halloween with a nice note, and her exact words after reading it were, "I'm going to have to call her, there's no money in this card.".
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20points

As relationships continue, perception becomes even more flexible because people naturally behave differently depending on their environment, the group they are with, and the level of pressure they are under. Bolde explains that what is often described as "true colors" tends to emerge in moments where social control is reduced or stress forces quicker, less curated reactions.

In reality, though, personality is not fixed in a single form. People constantly adjust how they act based on context, which means someone might appear completely different with friends than they do at work or with family. This shifting behavior is often part of normal social adaptation and impression management rather than intentional deception.

#7

A smiling bartender with red hair processes a credit card payment, showcasing customer service and disturbing things people learned about their friends.
I once went to a famous sports bar (yes, I'm sorry) with some college drinking buddies. one of my good friends, a roommate at the time, after a few beers chose for no good reason to mock our waitress -- for, of all things, the hair on her arms. from the get-go it was clear he'd struck a sensitive nerve with her, but that didn't deter him -- in fact, maybe it encouraged him.

i found her a few minutes later, hiding behind the waitress' station, near tears. no amount of apologizing changes that, even though i tried.

i haven't talked to that guy in more than a decade now. can't say i regret it, but i still regret that day at that bar.
18points

#8

An empty hospital gurney in a brightly lit hallway, representing disturbing things people learn about friends and seeing them differently.
I was in a serious wreck and was hospitalized for a month when I was 19. During this time I had given my 27 year old sister my bills and debit card so she could pay them since I was unable to (my parents were too consumed with looking after me to be able to handle my finances at the time). She decided to help herself to about $1000 of my hard-earned money...money that I'd saved up for college by working full-time...while I was bedridden in a hospital and unaware of whether I'd walk again. o.O

She might still be my sister, but I definitely don't consider her my friend anymore.
18points

#9

A man looking at his phone, holding a cup, possibly reading about disturbing things people learned about their friends.
Friend of 10 years hangs out with myself, my girlfriend, and another mutual friend. Afterwards, he starts texting my girlfriend saying that she's cute and that they should be intimate behind my back. Instantly cut him out of my life, tell him to get lost after he says that it was her that was sketchy. I saw everything that had been said, and it was very one-sided.

**Edit:** A few days after he and I had this verbal altercation, he was arrested and received a DUI. No driving for 90 days. Karma might be a real thing, people.
17points

WebMD highlights a great distinction by separating the idea of a "bad friend" from a "bad person". A bad friend may display behaviors that directly harm the relationship, such as unreliability, gossiping, competitiveness, lack of support, or poor respect for boundaries. These behaviors are frustrating but they do not necessarily define someone’s entire moral character.

In contrast, a "bad person" is described through broader patterns of behavior that extend beyond a single relationship, including repeated manipulation, harm toward others, or a consistent lack of remorse. This distinction matters because it shows how someone can struggle with interpersonal skills or emotional maturity without necessarily being fundamentally harmful in every area of life.

#10

A group of friends in black attire, holding wine glasses and smiling on a city street, reflecting disturbing things people learned about their friends.
A group of friends I had loved to go out to lunch, yoga, bars, etc. Everything they did required spending (their parents) money. I frequently turned down their invitations to go out since my budget could not handle that kind of spending. Plus, I was trying to pay my own way through school.

Well, one day, they sat me down and said that I should stop spending so much money on food and get my parents to pay for things. I was also told to try harder at picking up another job so I could afford their lifestyle. I already had two part-time jobs and went to college full time. They stopped speaking to me not too long after.
16points

#11

A man and a woman arguing in a kitchen, depicting disturbing things people learn about their friends.
A girl I used to date, who is now in a relationship with a mutual friend, gets too drunk. One night she, without warning, kicked her boyfriend in the groin so hard that he doubled over. She then kicked him again in the chest. He ran out the door and back to his place, while she loudly announced to everyone at the party that she didn't give a s**t, then left with some friends for a different party.

A few days later I saw her again. She, probably not even remembering what had happened, gave me a hug. Coldest hug I can ever remember.

TL;DR Domestic a***e is not okay.
16points

#12

A smiling male student holding a tablet with friends in the background, depicting learning about friends.
In 7th grade we had a guys step team from a local (predominantly black) high school perform at an assembly at my all girls private school. It was a d**n good show, but being that it was an all girls school, there were a lot of "ow OWs" and catcalls whenever some ~~hot~~ any guys were in the school.

After the assembly I was waiting for the bus with my friend and mentioned to her that the catcalls were kind of disrespectful in my opinion, and distracting from the show. She responded, "Besides, why would they catcall *them*? They're just black people." I stopped hanging out with her after that.
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16points

Even so, the impact of a serious revelation can still reshape or even end a friendship, especially when it changes the perceived meaning of the person involved. Psychology Today notes that long-term friendships often survive because they accumulate shared history, loyalty, identity, and repeated acts of support, creating what can be thought of as emotional credit.

However, when a discovery introduces betrayal, hidden motives, or repeated dishonesty, it can fundamentally disrupt trust at the core of the relationship. While some friendships may recover if both people are willing to take responsibility, be honest, and rebuild trust slowly over time, recovery becomes unlikely when the behavior reflects a consistent pattern rather than a one-off mistake.

#13

A close-up of various gold and silver necklaces and bracelets, highlighting intricate jewelry designs and disturbing things people learned about their friends.
She stole over 200$ in cash and thousands of dollars worth of jewelry from my grandmothers house when I had invited her down for a vacation.
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15points

#14

A pile of clothes on an unmade bed, representing disturbing things people learn about friends and seeing them differently.
I found out that she had thrown away a bunch of her clothes. I asked her why she didn't donate them to a clothing charity. She said she wouldn't want anyone else wearing them **because they weren't fashionable any more**.

Yes, I argued with her, and pointed out that cold homeless people wouldn't care about fashion. She wouldn't budge. Friendship over.
15points

#15

I had a friend in college whom I caught trying to have his way with another one of our friends while she was passed out. I promptly kicked his a*s and told him to never come near either of us again.
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14points

At the heart of these stories is the simple truth that friendships often rely on what we think we know about someone. However, a single revelation can completely reshape years of trust and admiration. Sometimes the discovery is serious enough to end the friendship immediately, while other times it lingers in the back of your mind, changing the way you see that person forever.

Of course, not every friendship survives these moments. Some people are willing to overlook flaws, while others see certain behaviors as absolute deal-breakers, and sometimes, rightfully so. Now, we would love to hear from you. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever discovered about someone you considered a close friend?

#16

A man in a car, looking out the window, showing disturbing things about friends.
I had a good friend with a really sweet girlfriend he has been with for years....He asked me to drive him to his other girlfriends house one night.
13points

#17

A person holding a white ribbon, symbolizing awareness and perhaps disturbing things people learned about their friends.
I had an ex friend who lied to the entire school about having cancer

He just used a plethora of lies to cover his tracks on the subject. He said he was on Chemo, but His hair did not fall out (I know it does not always do that), and he had no signs of being sick what so ever. He also claimed it was terminal... But he is still alive and well. And if you ever ask him about it he refuses to acknowledge he had cancer by saying "oh it was a mistake I did not have cancer" or something else along those lines.
After he was found out he started making up lies about and flat out insulting his former closest friends including myself. Saying things that I was too awkward to have friends, and that I liked girls way younger than me in a creepy way. It was just destructive and flat out untrue.
13points

#18

A happy young couple holding a bouquet of flowers, showing people learning things about their friends.
My roomate doesn't support interacial marriages. Not only is that really backwards, he doesn't have a reason for his opinion. He says "it's just my opinion, I don't need a reason to have it."

So not only is he kinda racist, he's willfully ignorant on the matter, and that's what REALLY pisses me off.
13points

#19

A man looking distressed while a woman yells at him at a party, depicting disturbing things people learn about friends.
I have a friend who was cheated on by his girlfriend of 4 years and continued the relationship with her for a couple of months before she decided to break up with him (he decided to stay friends with her too...). Let me add that his family had financially supported her all throughout college with luxuries such as a car, cellphone, and most importantly, a home. They have been broken up no more than 3 months yet she still controls almost every aspect of his life. Just recently, she got jealous because he went to take a walk with another girl at a party. When they returned, she blew up and hit him hard enough to cause a nosebleed in front of everybody. Not more than an hour after everybody had gone home, he had talked it out with her so that everything was OK between them. Why!?
13points

#20

I was once at a club with a guy I had known for about six months at college, and our respective girlfriends, we were quite a close group and he seemed like the most genuine guy you could know. Anyway, he gets into an argument with his girl and they both go outside to settle it in privacy, kinda k****d the mood but I thought little of it. He came back to say that his girlfriend had gone home in a bad mood and they had essentially broken up. I remember he slyly said something like "She lost her looks now anyway." A few days later I ran into his girlfriend and she had a swollen lip and a black eye. Never talked to that s*****g again.
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12points
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