To make it clear right from the beginning, the football jokes in this list will talk about European football, also known as soccer, to those on the other side of the pond. The football where you kick the ball, rather than grapple for it, the football that most likely stems from 12th-century England, and the one that supplies some of the most famous athletes on our planet. Well, you get the gist - this is our article dedicated to football, a.k.a. soccer jokes, where we lovingly make fun of this ancient game, its fans, and the ball-kicking frenzy that comes with it.
Unlike any other sports jokes, these ones have a particular affinity for the fans. Seems like if it weren’t for them and their unabashed dedication to their teams, football would lose half of its charm. The rivalries between fans are as fierce as (if not fiercer than) those among the teams themselves, and that makes for a very fertile ground for undeniably hilarious jokes. In fact, any rivalry makes for amazing silly jokes, but when it comes to football, the feeling is just unmatched! Of course, these jokes about football will talk about the game itself, too, but you’ll see a definite pattern of devotees taking center stage.
So, get ready for some funny football jokes that wait for you just a smidgen further down. Once you are there, give the best jokes your vote, and be sure to share this article with your football-crazy friends!
#21
Why was the footballer upset on their birthday?
They got a red card!
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#22
Which football team loves ice cream?
Aston Vanilla!
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#23
Why did Cinderella get kicked off the football team?
Because she kept running away from the ball!
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#24
What did the manager do when the pitch became flooded?
He sent on his subs!
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#25
Why do football players do well in school?
They know how to use their heads!
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#26
What’s the difference between [insert team here] and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup!
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#27
"I was playing Football Manager on my PC when I was offered the [insert team here] job. I knew it was a poor squad with no future, so I declined the offer. I then put the telephone down and returned to Football Manager."
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#28
How do football players stay cool during a game?
They stand near the fans!
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#29
What are Brazilian fans called?
Brazil nuts!
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#30
Who is the slipperiest footballer on the planet?
Antoine Grease-man.
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#31
What's the worst thing that can happen to a football player?
To have no goal in life.
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#32
Did you know, that if you laid out all of your veins end to end across a football field... You would likely die.
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#33
What do orphans and England's football fans have in common?
Neither are going home.
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#34
A football player goes to the doctor and says "It hurts when I touch my face, elbow, and knee." The doctor says, "You've broken your finger"
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#35
What's the difference between Maddie McCann and the England football team?
Only one of them is coming home.
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#36
8 p.m. I get an SMS from my girlfriend: Me or football?!
11 p.m. I SMS my girlfriend: You of course.
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#37
I was wondering why the football kept getting bigger and bigger... And then it hit me.
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#38
What does a [insert team here] fan do after watching their team win the Premier League?
Turn off the PlayStation!
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#39
What tea do footballers drink?
Penal-tea!
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#40
Which team always start the match with a bang?
The Gunners!
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