80 People Reveal What Their Parents Did That Made Them Finally Walk Away For Good

Screaming at me/calling me a b***h while I was holding my 1 year old who had a 103 degree fever. I realized that it wasn’t just hurting me anymore.

My mom went into a manic state from stress. I asked her to close a door (that apparently she wanted kept open) and she went off on me. Started crying, yelling, drinking, throwing things, slamming doors, stomping around like a toddler. I haven’t seen her do this since I was 12 and I’m 28 now. I thought she had changed but nope, she’s just as dangerous as I remember. I left her house in the middle of the night and haven’t spoken to her since.

It was a two-stage process; I was LC with Nmom as an adult, but still trying to be a good daughter because *'FaAaMiLy'*.
When I got engaged to my N-fiancee, I found myself explaining explicitly to him, how to deal with her irrational outbursts of tears & rage, and guiding him through the process of how to thwart her from trying to take control of our wedding. How she would go behind our backs; how she would guilt-trip and cry;
how she would show up anyway, with her default excuse, 'Oh, I didn't think you'd *mind*!"
...all of which, she did, but we were ready.

After my husband was made *'FaAaMiLy'*; she tried to sink her fangs into him. It was shocking to see it happen from an outside perspective, and I quickly decided, that I WAS *NOT* going to be a flying monkey, and have him go through the same toxic t*****e. We kept our distance, but one Christmas, Nmom exposed herself, and gave us an escape clause at the same time.

We were told to come visit, a few days before, for Holiday Light Viewing, and I was really looking forward to that. We arrive at the *'FaAaMiLy'* home, and Nmom has a change of plan to do something completely different, (She wanted to go shopping instead saying, "You don't mind, do you!?")

I did mind, and I said so. So, she released her second stage manipulation: banishment, and cried, "If you don't like it, you can just leave!"

It was then, that I realized that I *could* leave and that sounded like a great idea!

I left, and never went back, because there never came a time that I liked her a***e.

I mean, the cycle is her being an outrageous b**ch to me, me trying to reason with her, her cutting me off, and me apologizing.

It kept happening over and over again. The last time was because I bought a Honda Civic. This time? Who knows. But since Honda-gate, I had been trying my damndest to play peacemaker, to be graceful, to grow up. I lost my dad after Honda-gate, so I was trying to be on my bestest behavior.

Anyway, one day we were making plans for an afternoon at an art museum. The next, I was cut off with no warning. The usual next steps would be for me to beat down the door, groveling and crying for forgiveness. Once I got confirmation that I was once again cut off, I just stared at the phone in my hand with relief.

It’s going on three years in February. I’m not saying I have never cried about it, but the trash took itself out, as far as I’m concerned.

My final straw was just knowing that if I kept down the road I was at, *nothing would ever change. Ever.* I can’t keep doing this to myself; I can’t keep putting myself in situations that I’m not wanted, I can’t keep trying to stuff myself into a box that I don’t fit in. She just doesn’t like me, doesn’t want to know me, and doesn’t care how I, her child, feel. Why would I want that in my life?

My nDad has been asked repeatedly to curb the inappropriate s****l talk, language degrading women, and in-general body-negative talk around my 10yo daughter, who is on the autism spectrum.

The last visit (Sept. 2022) he purposefully scheduled it when I had rehearsal so it was mainly just him, my now-fiancé, my daughter and my two stepkids.

He “graciously” took them all out to lunch and then proceeded to tell my very skinny 10yo DAUGHTER that she had a fat belly. Twice.

Y’all, that age for girls (ESPECIALLY very literal neuro-atypical girls) is PRECISELY when eating disorders manifest. I ain’t playing around.

Went NC and it’s the smartest thing I’ve ever done.

My father trying to apologize to me by saying that he wouldn’t have hit me if my mom was a “better wife” to him.

I told him exactly where he could go. That was 17yrs ago.

When her actions started to hurt my children's feelings, I was done. I had put up with so much in hopes maybe one day I'd have a mom like everyone else. I kept her at a distance but it came to the point where my kids were getting their feelings hurt by her. I was done at that point.

I realize now that there doesn't need to be a "last straw" and that I shouldn't have been waiting for one for so long. Mine was a promise I made to myself that if my dad stopped talking to me on a family trip that I would be done. I was exhausted trying to make a deeply unhappy person happy, which was an impossible task, and I was hating myself for not sticking up for my children out of fear of him.


On the second morning I was giving my daughter simple directions and he interjected, "Yeah, don't be like (son's name)!" I very politely stated that we try not to use the other kids as an example of anything unless it's a positive for both children (i.e. - "You're so kind, just like your brother" and not, "Don't be like your brother and forget to clean the bathroom.") I didn't give him these examples, but that was my point. That was all it took. He wouldn't even look at me that day. Wouldn't interact with my kids. Spoke to me on and off if we were in public and he felt like it, then iced me out later. No goodbye or any acknowledgement of my presence when they left. Deep down I knew it would happen, and I knew my comment would likely trigger it, so it was nice to have a "reason" I could act on. I've been appalled by his words and actions many times, but it was the first time I went into something expecting him to be an a*s, and he delivered.

Not invited to my dads 75th birthday dinner. I’d been excluded from events so many times. And when I asked why or expressed sadness about it, I was dismissed or told I deserved to exclude because of mean thing I’d allegedly done to my stepmom. Was excluded from the 70th birthday, which was 2 weeks before my wedding, until I cried and was invited. But since then apparently I’ve been shunned and my stepmoms therapist said she should go NC w me and my sisters. Again, no explanation of what allegedly is done to her other than “we remember things differently.” 🙄. It’s not nearly as bad as what some of y’all have faced, but it’s like they know excluding me hurts me so they do it in purpose, to intentionally hurt me. The 75th was just the last straw, why should I beg for scraps from people who are committed to thinking I’m a bad person to justify their cruel treatment of me. My dad wanted to still see me every so often just wouldn’t be welcome in his home or anywhere his wife is including Father’s Day, holidays, etc. why should I degrade myself to a man who gave no consideration whatsoever to my feelings. They don’t want me around, so I’m not around. I’m better off without them but it still hurts and I’m still angry.

My mom and MIL. Both times they hurt my children and I realized they were at the same risk I/my husband were as children and I had to protect them.

With my mother it was easy; she hated me and beat me daily and yelled horrible things until I left at 18. W my father I didn't meet him until I was 19 (my mother didn't let me see him after he left when I was like 6) and it was harder to finally break contact w him after he showed me he would always just be the enabler to a woman who a****d his kids and I would always feel like I had to earn his love or even attention.

We were visiting my dad and stepmother. They lived three-quarters of the way across the US from us so it was a big deal traveling that far with our (then) 3-year-old. Three days into what was supposed to be a week-long vacation, my stepmother "went ballistic," which is what my father called it when she threw an absolute frothing fit, over what I still do not know to this day (the house was big enough that we could hear her screaming and throwing s**t around, but not actually hear what she was saying). I often wonder what might have happened had they had a gun in the house that night, but thankfully they did not. She eventually stormed outside, stood beneath our bedroom window, and screamed, "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!" Then she got into her car and sped off into the night for a few hours. We waited until sunrise so as not to disturb the sleeping baby, packed up our stuff, and got out of there. I exchanged a few emails with my father 10 years or so later, but otherwise did not have any contact with either of them for the last 20 years of his life.

My former male guardian (a family member, he and his wife raised me) and my aunt visited. My aunt said he was d***g so i needed to let them visit, i believed them cause why would you lie about something like that? He's literally fine, so it starts with me realizing my aunt (who i mostly trusted) would lie to me like my guardians did.

Then they show me a folder which they said was filled with my childhood drawings cause he loves me so much. Some were mine, some weren't. There was random report cards and receipts in the middle for bulk 🙄 they tried to take the folder from me when i started flipping through it, it was totally half a***d lol

Later that day they sit me down and say we need to talk. They proceeded to tell me going to grad school was selfish of me because women (im a trans man...) can't be scientists and I'm wasting my time when i should be serving the family. They listed off a bunch of rules that my therapist said was essentially an indentured servitude agreement, i obviously declined. Then they said that no one will hire me so i can't expect to have a career, and no man would ever love me so i wont have a family of my own. The extra salt in the wound was my aunt, who i used to commiserate with regarding physical a***e from this male guardian, said that i lied about him all these years, he's a poor innocent man, i should be ashamed of myself for treating someone so innocent so shamefully. Like?? And he sat there with his arms crossed pouting like a toddler

It took me time to process, and in the meantime they blew up my phone regularly just to tell me im a failure. Both former guardians threatened to hurt themselves, and me, saying i was causing them anxiety and depression cause im so selfish and awful. They straight up sent me d***h threats. I finally decided to cut contact when they made my uncle call me while i was at work, and i could hear them fake sobbing and screaming in the background. Apparently my guardians and aunt woke him up saying i was ignoring them and they think im d**d. I texted them "im busy" then they send me paragraphs of the same b******t. That was the last communication i ever had with them. They're stalking me now but at least i dont have to talk to them 😒.

They were trying to put my children in close contact with my a*****e sibling when I was not with them and without my knowledge, so they could play happy family.

Ironically both of them (NM and NGM) decided to pitch a toddler tantrum on the exact call where I was going to tell them that my kiddo was on his way.

NM went incoherent on a rant that her electric recliner had broken, she had something go wrong in her shopping and she was mad that (5 months later) I could prove I had called her on her birthday. Just makes it more incoherent when you realize that I lived 5+ hours away and hadn’t seen her in person for years.

NGM decided to go off that she was too old to listen to anyone, didn’t care what anyone thought of her and she was going to do what she wanted, when she wanted and as soon as she could, she was going to move herself and my brother into my house because she wanted to be there when I had kids because she did so good she was going to raise them as the only great grandparent.

My mom told me the truth about a situation I had always thought went another way. When I told her that she knew for years that I thought it was x and not y, she refused to accept that she had lied to me by allowing me to believe the lie because it saved her reputation more.

I literally ran away from home when I was 19 after my Nmother started making d***h threats towards me. They were passive aggressive comments laced with undertones of further physical harm. At that time, one of her sisters was working at the university I was going to, in student support and I ended up talking to her and a guidance counsellor about what was happening at home and what Nmother was doing to me.

Nmother's sister helped me escape and sheltered me for a few months, until I found a place of my own to rent. Then 6 months later, her and another of Nmother's sisters blackmailed me into giving Nmother my new phone number. They actually threatened me that they would go to Nmother and tell her how they helped me escape and where I was living. I stayed VLC with Nmother's relatives for almost 10 years, until Nmother d**d. It was at her funeral that I realised I will never be a welcomed part of the family. They were all comforting my half-sister while leaving me mostly alone during the entire service and wake.

A few months later, I had a massive falling out with my half-sister (I was living with her and her family at the time, and she was progressively becoming more and more controlling and more hostile and volatile towards me, all traits our Nmother would display) and I decided then that I would cut all contact with my entire Nmother's side.

I have no love or sympathy towards any of them now.

Years ago mom had everyone go around the table at thanksgiving to tell me why they don’t visit me or talk to me. After a long line of stupid s**t like this, never regretted blocking her from my life.

After I loaned her 65 grand as a business investment being told that I would get a cut of the profits when the store got up and running (yes this did actually happen there is a physical store and business.), I was diagnosed with cancer and my POS NSurrogate told her dad (the man I call my dad as well) “I hope the b***h f*****g d**s.”.

My first cut-off point was when I kicked her out of the house for having an affair and being an alcoholic who wasn’t capable of looking after her own children. I saw her clearly then, but for the sake of my siblings and trying to make life easier on my dad, I tried to reconnect with her a couple of times.

The last, final straw was very built up, loads of other stuff came in between, but ultimately it was the run-up to my 21st birthday. She wanted to come to my party. We weren’t on speaking terms, I had her blocked on almost everything. She wanted to have access to my Facebook page if she couldn’t come to my party, I said no. I unblocked her on WhatsApp so she’d have my number, saying that she needed to make an effort.

A week passed and after her badgering me for months to have access to me, she never so much as sent a message.

I decided that I was done because I was asking for the absolute bare minimum, regular contact to show she was serious and cared. Instead I got nothing because she doesn’t care at all.

I’m 30 this year and my life is SO much better without her in it, another decade and I’ll have had almost as much time without her than I had to endure her.