O, Dwight, however much we love you! Thine quirks, thine wisdom, thine unmatched grit! Thou art probably the greatest TV series character ever that gives us, the socially ungraceful introverts, at least a smidgen of bravery in being as non-conforming as we like to be. Well, you might’ve gotten the gist by now - we cannot get enough of Dwight Kurt Schrute III, and he’s at the very top of our list of the most beloved fictional characters ever. And thus, we’ve created a whole list of Dwight Schrute quotes and now are sharing it with you!
Unlike the rest of The Office characters, Dwight is much more multi-layered. In fact, although he’s probably the weirdest person you’ve ever met on screen due to the complexity of his character, Dwight’s also probably the most real of them all. And just read some of his wise quotes! All of his phrases will make you laugh the hardest but will also carry a message about dignity, authenticity, bravery, and loyalty. You know, the things that make humans human. And did we mention that some of them are just hilariously funny quotes? We did? Well, no harm in repeating it, then.
Now, prepare yourself beetroot tartar to go with these wonderful quotes - a combo to die for! Once you’re done reading them, give the best ones your vote, and if you’d like a bit more, then read our The Office quotes article, too! Oh, and also, don’t forget to share these funny Dwight Schrute quotes with anyone who seems to be a bit down these days - it will surely improve their disposition!
#141
“Jim couldn’t land me in a thousand years.”
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#142
“Listen up, Flenderson, you’re being weak and ineffectual. I’m cowboying this meeting, OK! Here are the new rules, OK? Earth tones only. Also, women are forbidden to wear pants.”
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#143
“When held over heat, the invisible ink will reveal that everyone should meet at the warehouse immediately. Do not ask me where I got the invisible ink. Urine. It was urine.”
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#144
“Yes, I am taking Andy hunting after work. Not long ago we were sexual competitors. I used to hate him, hate him, hate him, hate him. I studied him, to figure out why I hated him so much. But that blossomed into a very real friendship, as these things often do.”
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#145
“Oh, you know that line on the top of the shrimp? That’s feces.”
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#146
“There was a terrible war, ugh, so many died. Far too many died. But if Frodo hadn’t destroyed the ring, then goodness itself might have died.”
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#147
“Schrutes don’t celebrate birthdays, idiot. It started as a depression-era practicality and then, moved on to an awesome tradition that I look forward to every year!”
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#148
“It’s not effeminate. It’s festive.”
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#149
“Love is all you need? False, you need water and rations.”
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#150
“He’s gone. I miss him so much. Oh, I cry myself to sleep, Jim. False. I do not miss him.”
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#151
"The dictionary defines superlative as: of the highest kind, quality, or order, surpassing all else, or others; supreme. That’s great. If I wanted the dictionary definition, I’d buy a dictionary. I define it as Dwight Schrute. As a sales executive, as a leader, as a man, and as a friend, he is of the highest kind, quality, and order; supreme.”
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#152
"I am not a bad person. When I left Staples, I took some of their leads with me, but I never intended to use them. What did I intend to do with them? Who knows. Maybe keep them as a souvenir. Maybe use them."
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#153
"If Jim has bedbugs, that means they're everywhere. I can't risk them coming back to Schrute Farms. Our biggest attraction is our 200 year old mattresses."
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#154
"Today is your birthday? False. Today is the anniversary of your birthday."
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#155
“Slow and steady wins the race? False. Fast always wins the race.”
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#156
Ryan: "Did you see Saw?"
Dwight: "Of course I seesaw, Mose and I seesaw all the time."
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#157
"I wanna have a child for business reasons and I want you to be the mother. If you agree, say nothing. If you disagree, say anything."
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#158
"What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany’s at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It’s priceless."
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#159
“I don't believe you, continue.”
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#160
"People learn in lots of different ways, but experience is the best teacher."
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