"Bankruptcy Hell": 80 People Share The Moment They Knew Their Marriage Was Beyond Repair

We went to 4 couples therapists. She ended getting rid of each by saying "they clearly favor you" after the first visit, because each one said I have valid issues and my feelings were valid. That meant she shared some blame and in her mind that wasn't possible.

When I was seriously contemplating when he would be gone. I kept thinking "I'll have a few good years left after he's gone, I just have to wait 30ish years."

Reassessed that insane thought process and decided "just leave now."

This is after years of all the little resentments that add up to neither one of us liking, let alone loving, one another. In retrospect, the marriage was over on the honeymoon when lies were revealed, wasted 7 years before finally declaring time of passing.

One evening, I heard my then wife on the phone with one of her friends. "Hello! I'm so sorry I missed your call. How are you? "And after the call she ended it with "Have a good night, stay safe".

It was at that moment I realized, it wasn't that she wasn't capable of being a decent person, it was that she chose to treat me like dirt.

For reference, the same sort of call from me would start with "Why are you calling me? I told you I'm at ." And end with nothing but the sound of the phone being hung up, not even so much as "Bye".

Also for clarity, it didn't really matter which friend she talked to, it was always pleasant and friendly, meanwhile conversations with me were always hostile and terrible.

I found out later she was also hiding a substantial alcohol problem, so much so that the judge, after completing a substance dependency evaluation, made her leave the marital home and now she is only allowed recorded zoom calls with our kids until she completes therapy and substance treatment, which she still hasnt done now two years post divorce.

It is now a little over two years since the divorce was finalized. My kids and I live in a new city and they are thriving with me as a solo dad in a safe and quiet household.

She did not want to address any of the problems we had that led to our separation and her almost emotionally cheating on me. She decided if we could not go back to pre-Separation we would be done. I decided not to go back to a broken relationship and walked away, ended up being the best decision I have ever made.

I could not do anything correctly. And I mean anything. I did not even pick up dog poo correctly. After we ran out of milk one time in 12 years he called me "the most irresponsible person he'd ever known.".

She never actually found me attractive. Even at the very beginning. Once we got into couples counseling at the end she said it was never actually there. She thought it would come with time.

That was tough to hear. But also a relief. I could finally stop trying so hard to earn her love and attraction back.

His inability to stop cheating on me was a real issue. I realised I didn't want to try and save the marriage when I developed a crush on someone else and realised that I was still capable of having emotions other than self-doubt, hurt and fear.

Funnily enough, once he received the lawyer's letter, he suddenly was all in favour of "forgiving" me my failure to have a faithful husband.

My ex wife had zero ability to handle conflict with me, the kids, and our families. She would shut down and make everyone miserable everytime anything didnt go the way she envisioned. It got really old.

She suffered extreme mental health issues after kids born. Things got really bad. Things got even worse. It was affecting me and kids so negatively, after a year of trying to do everything to help I couldn’t take care of everyone including myself and it got even worse. Kicked her out. Got full custody of the kids and life is much better now. I tried but there’s only so much one person can do. Mental health is no joke.

She stopped loving halfway through the honeymoon. Our intimate life was non-existent unless she was ovulating, and when I denied her she became borderline violent.

We had two kids that only took one attempt each to conceive. After that we were celibate for nearly ten years while I took care of everything while she climbed the corporate ladder and traveled solo across the world.

My level of self-worth was 2/10, and I didn't know what to do other than tolerate it.

My ex thrived on keeping me off-balance and negging me—even through I was doing the majority of the childcare/housework/petcare/yardwork while also maintaining continuous employment (he was regularly finding himself involuntarily out of work and it never had anything to do with him, ofc…) Once I figured out my own version of gray-rocking him/not letting him see me blink, he started to take it out on our kids.

Our 3 kids and I were dog-sitting my daughter’s best friend’s dog while the family went to visit grandparents in Italy for the winter holidays. The ex did nothing to help, btw. I had repeatedly told the mom that there was no need to compensate us because their dog was sweet and was a great companion for our dog. Nonetheless, she slipped my oldest $200 cash in the dark when they picked up their pup. I had been making dinner at the time, so I told the kids that we would figure out what to do with the money after dinner. I went to the restroom and upon returning, I found my ex screaming at our youngest (11M at the time) that HE was going to decide what to do with the money. Our youngest was in the fetal position, hiding under a blanket, and sobbing…I initiated the divorce process four days later.

Never-ending complaints despite living a lifestyle that most would be envious of. Narcissistic to the point of never recognizing any of my contributions. Complained about everyone and was cold to people. Ended up having to always excuse their behavior to people. Unable to show affection unless prompted to.

Eventually when I was on a dream vacation in Hawaii that was ruined because of being with them...I realized I'd never be able to escape them even in paradise. That it was more a prison sentence than a marriage. I have far less money than before, but I am far happier and looking forward to the future again ☺️.

He wasn’t being a husband, so why should I continue being a wife?

He had a girlfriend and wouldn’t stop draining our marital wealth on her

I was exhausted keeping up my wifely duties and covering as a homemaker, breadwinner, parent to compensate for him not pulling his weight 

I told him he should leave if he didn’t want to be a husband. He left in 2014. They broke up in 2018. I wish he would’ve broken up with her in 2013 but I’m remarried, have tripled my income, our kids are successful and now I’m a wife to a man who is a husband. Yay for me.  .

Had two different marriage counselors (kind of) that we would have weekly sessions with. One was a single woman, the other was a married couple that mentored my ex in business. He did not care what the one woman thought of him at all, so when I brought up a case that he had blatantly lied and manipulated me, he fully admitted to it and said he didn’t regret it because it got me to do what he wanted.

I was still very bothered when we met for the next session with the married couple, so I brought it up to talk about again. This jerk completely back tracked, suddenly he never lied according to him and I had it all wrong.

There were so sooo many things before that moment, many of them worse, but that was the moment that I knew I had given it my best shot and that he was never going to do the work to be an actual partner to me and it would always be about how he looked to others from the outside.

When I realized I didn't want our future children to develop his attitudes and behaviors. I had given him the benefit of the doubt on too many things, and tried to work things out with him, but I had to accept he was who he was. However, the day I realized that he would be setting an example to our future kids was the day I realized I couldn't have a future with him. I would be so disappointed in myself if I brought children into this world who were like him. The whole reason I wanted children was to hopefully raise people who would make the world a better place, and I knew that wouldn't necessarily be the outcome if I had children with him.

Started with little disagreements on house chores, then money was tight, then she slept with our friends husband. Natural progression I’m told.

Extreme liar, he lied about most important things then he started lying about stuff I said or did. It was messing with my sense of reality I had to leave. Also he was incredibly financially irresponsible he stopped paying the car note for 7 months.

Lack of communication and respect. Complained constantly that I wasn't doing chores around the house that she wanted done while I was working 60+ hours a week and she did nothing.

We were never actually married but together 14 years and have kids etc. But it was when I felt more like this mother than a partner, and when he was willing to do absolutely nothing about it. He would probably say that I have anger issues. At the time I might have agreed. Turns out my only anger issue was him. Happily married now to a man who takes pride in providing for us. He makes me proud everyday.

He began to change. At first, I thought that he stopped tip-toeing and got more comfortable in the relationships, but he was getting worse. After some more issues I understood that he needs a doctor's check-up because he is unhealthy. I begged, I confronted him, tried to talk so he would visit the doctor, cryed, begged again, again, again. He called it Gaslighting of his feelings. That he is entitled to feel like he feels. I went with the divorce. He went to the doctor. He had a brain tumor that messed up all his hormones.