These days, if you want to find out where your ancestors are from, you don’t need to dig through family records or spend hours in dusty archives. Thanks to modern DNA services, all you have to do is order a kit, swab your cheek, pop it in an envelope, and send it off to a lab. Before long, you’ll get a breakdown of your origins, whether that’s Ireland, Australia, or somewhere you never expected.
But many of these tests offer more than percentages. They can also match you with other people in the system who share your DNA, potentially linking you to relatives you’ve never met. And as convenient as that sounds, it can also bring some uncomfortable surprises—because once those connections appear, old stories don’t always hold up.
On Reddit, people who took DNA tests and discovered way more than they bargained for shared what they learned. Scroll down to read their stories and see just how wild it can get.
#1
My dad knew that his father was not his biological father (the former was in a wheelchair for most of his life), but never wanted to know the details. He took a 23andme test about 6 years ago and, since then, has discovered 35+ half-siblings. Their biological father was a urologist doing research on artificial insemination in the 50s (with his clients’ consent, of course), and many had no idea that they did not grow up with their biological father—definitely a difficult time for some.
Since then, they’ve had multiple “family reunions” and stay in touch via a Facebook group. It’s pretty wild, they all have the same jaw line and are successful in their chosen fields (they’re all doctors/engineers/academics of some sort!). I actually wound up getting my current job via a referral from my favorite new half-aunt—I often joke that 23andme is a better networking tool than LinkedIn :).
Since then, they’ve had multiple “family reunions” and stay in touch via a Facebook group. It’s pretty wild, they all have the same jaw line and are successful in their chosen fields (they’re all doctors/engineers/academics of some sort!). I actually wound up getting my current job via a referral from my favorite new half-aunt—I often joke that 23andme is a better networking tool than LinkedIn :).
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63points
#2
Lived next door to my best friend, and her family, all through my childhood and young adult life. Graduated from high school, friend and I had a weekend bender to celebrate, and hooked up, started dating. Fast forward a few years, to late November this year, we decide to try a test.
Turns out she's my half-sister on the paternal side.
Apparently my dad and her mom had been having an affair, and she got pregnant. Both parents are getting divorced, and we haven't been able to look at each other since.
bigfootswillie:
Watching Game of Thrones must be difficult now.
Turns out she's my half-sister on the paternal side.
Apparently my dad and her mom had been having an affair, and she got pregnant. Both parents are getting divorced, and we haven't been able to look at each other since.
bigfootswillie:
Watching Game of Thrones must be difficult now.
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49points
#3
My brother got our whole family 23andme kits for Christmas last year. Everyone did the swab and got their results back which showed how we’re all related and yada yada yada, but my results came back inconclusive. 23andme sent me a new kit to do it again and THAT one also came back inconclusive. So the company sent me an email basically saying I can never do it again probably because I’m using a bunch of resources with no results.
Anyway now my family says I don’t have any human DNA and that I must be a lizard. They make lizard sounds when I’m around and I am ashamed.
phurled:
Someone has gone to a lot of effort to block your DNA truth...
Whats ur mum been up to?
OP:
Emotionally, at this point in my life, I cannot deal with the idea that my mom cheated on my dad with a lizard.
Anyway now my family says I don’t have any human DNA and that I must be a lizard. They make lizard sounds when I’m around and I am ashamed.
phurled:
Someone has gone to a lot of effort to block your DNA truth...
Whats ur mum been up to?
OP:
Emotionally, at this point in my life, I cannot deal with the idea that my mom cheated on my dad with a lizard.
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36points
#4
Spouse found out his dad wasn't his dad. His judgmental holier than thou catholic mom had some explaining to do. He lost an immense amount of respect for her, especially when the bio dad tried to reach out to him. She is still in contact with the married man she had an affair with over 4 decades ago. He refuses to speak to him and has limited contact with her.
ragecuddles:
That's brutal. Did his non bio dad find out too? That's got to be terrible to find out after so many years. I hope they still have a good relationship.
OP:
Yep, he did and they still have a good relationship. My husband doesn't discuss it with him because he doesn't want his mothers lies to compromise the relationship he's had for 4 decades.
invisiblebody:
"He may have been your father, boy, but he wasn't your daddy."
ragecuddles:
That's brutal. Did his non bio dad find out too? That's got to be terrible to find out after so many years. I hope they still have a good relationship.
OP:
Yep, he did and they still have a good relationship. My husband doesn't discuss it with him because he doesn't want his mothers lies to compromise the relationship he's had for 4 decades.
invisiblebody:
"He may have been your father, boy, but he wasn't your daddy."
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34points
#5
My dad turned out not to be my dad. So the basic 23andme family surprise I guess? Also found out that my heritage can best be described as white mystery.
37-pieces-of-flair:
White mystery sounds like a bad chocolate truffle name.
Anon:
It honestly describes most of my mother in law’s cooking.
tedwinaslowsby:
Yep. 99.99% European and .01% Broadly East Asian and Native American. I am so confused.
37-pieces-of-flair:
White mystery sounds like a bad chocolate truffle name.
Anon:
It honestly describes most of my mother in law’s cooking.
tedwinaslowsby:
Yep. 99.99% European and .01% Broadly East Asian and Native American. I am so confused.
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32points
#6
Not destroyed, it just confirmed what we already knew that there was more than one Father between 5 siblings. At least three as it turned out.
ernyc3777:
Yup. Love my mom but my late grandmother told me she had doubts that my older brother was my dads kid. Also, there is doubts of 2 of my half siblings who my father fought legally to gain custody of when they were very young.
We've agreed we'd rather not know and just be our own little messed up family of 6 children who love each other and their nieces/nephews dearly.
Edit: going to bed. But here's a message for those out there who look down on my situation. The world isn't perfect and either are people. Family is who you choose.
My siblings and I choose to love each other regardless of who is biologically related to who.
TheUnknown285:
Mama got around.
MadamNerd:
My dad had six older siblings. As they all understood it, the first six all had the same dad, and he was the only one with a different father.
Nope. After grandma [passed away], they discovered the sixth one had a different father as well. So seven kids between three different dads. I guess my grandma thought admitting that she had three baby fathers was too much??? She had her kids in the 50s and 60s, so it would definitely have been more taboo than it is now.
ernyc3777:
Yup. Love my mom but my late grandmother told me she had doubts that my older brother was my dads kid. Also, there is doubts of 2 of my half siblings who my father fought legally to gain custody of when they were very young.
We've agreed we'd rather not know and just be our own little messed up family of 6 children who love each other and their nieces/nephews dearly.
Edit: going to bed. But here's a message for those out there who look down on my situation. The world isn't perfect and either are people. Family is who you choose.
My siblings and I choose to love each other regardless of who is biologically related to who.
TheUnknown285:
Mama got around.
MadamNerd:
My dad had six older siblings. As they all understood it, the first six all had the same dad, and he was the only one with a different father.
Nope. After grandma [passed away], they discovered the sixth one had a different father as well. So seven kids between three different dads. I guess my grandma thought admitting that she had three baby fathers was too much??? She had her kids in the 50s and 60s, so it would definitely have been more taboo than it is now.
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31points
#7
Not me, but one of my bar regulars did the test with her older sister. Turns out not only are they not related to each other, but both of them are adopted. And, their adoptive parents are both dead. And, their entire extended family knew the whole time but no one ever told them.
licuala:
Bright side, two people chose very deliberately to adopt them as they were and raise them as their own and that's beautiful.
OP:
Yes, that’s her view on it as well! Even when she was a kid she thought to be adopted made you so special because it meant that you were picked.
licuala:
Bright side, two people chose very deliberately to adopt them as they were and raise them as their own and that's beautiful.
OP:
Yes, that’s her view on it as well! Even when she was a kid she thought to be adopted made you so special because it meant that you were picked.
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30points
#8
No destruction, but 23andme showed me the dad who I knew as a child (left early, so no real relationship) wasn't my bio dad. Then about a year later, my sister on my bio dad's side (I thought I was an only child and didn't know who bio dad was) reached out because 23andme told her about me. Now I have a bio dad, a brother, and a sister. They are all really nice and we are all trying to forge a new relationship.
They are all coming over in about 2 hours where my wife and daughter will meet the dad for the first time. They've already met the brother and sister.
I have nothing but good things to say about what 23andme did for me.
Update:
OK, I will be honest, I didn't expect this much of a positive response. I'll update here. I will apologize ahead of time for any vagueness in the answers. While I'm open about all of it, some could be considered their personal business and so I'll gloss over those details where appropriate. :)
First, to answer a few questions that came up on this thread:
u/Swamp-woman asked "Did your bio dad know about you?"
Yes. He did. I didn't know about him though.
u/Username_000001 asked "did your mom confirm this to you? or does the 23 and me have a lot more info than the other dna tests i’ve heard of?"
I am estranged from my mother. She is not in a place in life to be able to be a positive influence on anyone. While that part is unfortunate, it did make this discovery of a family much more positively impactful. I went from no family to two siblings and a dad. Pretty weird. 23andme was able to confirm that my sister is, in fact, genetically my half-sister (different mom). From that, the relationship to the rest was straightforward.
u/Anonymous asked "Can you explain how 23andMe hooked you up?"
They have a genetic family feature. It is opt-in and I did. If someone else shows as a match, they link you with a guess at the relationship. I see an army of 3rd--7th cousins from all over the world, but when my sistem joined, and also opted in, it said I was potentially her grandfather (25% match genetically). We figured out quickly that it was a half-sister. I'm not old enough to be her grandfather, plus the dad confirmed everything with names and details that he knew.
u/mclabop asked "How does the reaching out work? Is it an anonymous email? Or can each person with a DNA based close genetic connection just find each other’s info? Or is all the personal info up for grabs?"
It linked us after we both opted in for that, but still was only a name. She did a search for me by name and locations our dad lived on FB, found me, and sent me a FB message.
They are all coming over in about 2 hours where my wife and daughter will meet the dad for the first time. They've already met the brother and sister.
I have nothing but good things to say about what 23andme did for me.
Update:
OK, I will be honest, I didn't expect this much of a positive response. I'll update here. I will apologize ahead of time for any vagueness in the answers. While I'm open about all of it, some could be considered their personal business and so I'll gloss over those details where appropriate. :)
First, to answer a few questions that came up on this thread:
u/Swamp-woman asked "Did your bio dad know about you?"
Yes. He did. I didn't know about him though.
u/Username_000001 asked "did your mom confirm this to you? or does the 23 and me have a lot more info than the other dna tests i’ve heard of?"
I am estranged from my mother. She is not in a place in life to be able to be a positive influence on anyone. While that part is unfortunate, it did make this discovery of a family much more positively impactful. I went from no family to two siblings and a dad. Pretty weird. 23andme was able to confirm that my sister is, in fact, genetically my half-sister (different mom). From that, the relationship to the rest was straightforward.
u/Anonymous asked "Can you explain how 23andMe hooked you up?"
They have a genetic family feature. It is opt-in and I did. If someone else shows as a match, they link you with a guess at the relationship. I see an army of 3rd--7th cousins from all over the world, but when my sistem joined, and also opted in, it said I was potentially her grandfather (25% match genetically). We figured out quickly that it was a half-sister. I'm not old enough to be her grandfather, plus the dad confirmed everything with names and details that he knew.
u/mclabop asked "How does the reaching out work? Is it an anonymous email? Or can each person with a DNA based close genetic connection just find each other’s info? Or is all the personal info up for grabs?"
It linked us after we both opted in for that, but still was only a name. She did a search for me by name and locations our dad lived on FB, found me, and sent me a FB message.
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28points
#9
I’ve been searching for my father my whole life and through 23andme I just found a half-brother, finally answering the question. Our father is unfortunately passed, but we’re meeting in person in April.
A couple weeks after we found each other we were also contacted by another half-sister.
A couple weeks after we found each other we were also contacted by another half-sister.
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28points
#10
Sadly, I learned that I am, in fact, actually related to my dumpster fire of a family. I'd always secretly hoped I was adopted...
espositojoe:
I'm adopted. My oldest son was literally the first blood relative of mine I'd ever met!
ae-cyneria:
This is very touching.
espositojoe:
I'm adopted. My oldest son was literally the first blood relative of mine I'd ever met!
ae-cyneria:
This is very touching.
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28points
#11
Can’t speak for myself but one of my old high school teachers took an Ancestry DNA test and found out his dad wasn’t actually his biological father. His mom had cheated on her husband. He joked around so much that when he told our class, I thought he was joking. Nope.
tweakingforjesus:
Every year while learning punnett squares in ninth grade biology a student realizes that they are not their parent's offspring.
whoop_di_dooooo:
When I was in high school biology we did blood typing, where the teacher determined the result for us (which I can't imagine being allowed nowadays). I got O positive. My parents are A positive and AB positive, no way I could be an O. So I questioned my mom about my Dad. She was definitely not happy about it.
Later in college when I started to donate blood I found out I am B positive. Sorry I doubted you, Dad!
tweakingforjesus:
Every year while learning punnett squares in ninth grade biology a student realizes that they are not their parent's offspring.
whoop_di_dooooo:
When I was in high school biology we did blood typing, where the teacher determined the result for us (which I can't imagine being allowed nowadays). I got O positive. My parents are A positive and AB positive, no way I could be an O. So I questioned my mom about my Dad. She was definitely not happy about it.
Later in college when I started to donate blood I found out I am B positive. Sorry I doubted you, Dad!
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27points
#12
My 64 year old friend just found out that his aunt was actually his grandmother, but she gave birth so young and so long ago to his father that the child was raised by her parents. He said it made sense, because his aunt always seem to take special interest in him over the other cousins.
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27points
#13
My mom and I did ancestry last year for Christmas and found out her birth dad wasn’t her actual dad and we were able to find out who her real dad was (both deceased) because one of her birth cousins found her on Facebook and contacted her and they put the puzzle together. My grandma had an affair with her husband with someone he was serving in the military with and when we brought it up to her she denied it ever happening and then we were going through old photo albums and found a picture of the 3 of there where on the back she wrote the month and year with “had an affair with (his name)”
And still denies it.
And still denies it.
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26points
#14
Grandpa fathered a baby in the Netherlands at the end of WW2. Her parents didn’t want her coming back to Canada with him, so they told him the baby [passed away] of pneumonia around age 3.
I didn’t find out until grandpa had been [gone] for about 15 years. Found grandpa’s name on another family tree and sent a “hi! And you are?” message. Immediately got back “we’ve been looking for you all for years” message.
Fast forward a few years, and my dutch cousin has some to visit us in Canada, and I have been to the Netherlands to meet a huge family I never knew about. It’s wild.
ETA: I can’t believe how this blew up! I’m trying to respond to everyone’s questions, but here are a few bits:
-Grandpa and this woman were in LUV. My cousin hasd boxes of artifacts from their relationship. They went to family weddings together, socialized publicly, etc.
-apparently in these days, parents had to give permission for a girl to marry a foreigner. (Don’t know if this was a legal thing, or a societal pressure thing.). But the bottom line was that her parents wouldn’t give permission. He still sent money and photos and stuff, and so they decided to tell him the baby had [passed away] in hopes that he would stop trying. It worked.
-Grandpa went on and got married and had 3 kids, then split and got married again, this time to my grandma. But my whole life, he got SO emotional when talking about NL. More so than Italy or Germany, where he was also stationed. I always throught that this was because he was part of the liberation of holland, so he felt more connected to the people there. (I was kind of right!)
-my Dutch cousin and his family are AMAZING. They invited my partner and I to NL last year, and the best way I can phrase is is “we met as strangers, and we left as family”. We still talk all the time. His 8 year old daughter loves to make fun of my Canadian accent when I try to speak Dutch, and I love that.
2nd edit: just a fun story. When I visited NL, I was lucky enough to go to my cousin’s anniversary party and meet a couple hundred wonderful locals. They kept excitedly calling us the “Kennedys”, and my partner and I were sooo confused, but flattered. (We thought maybe it was slang for North Americans? We had no idea!) Fast forward a couple of days, and we went to the cemetery for Canadian soldiers and saw the sign….. Canadese is Dutch for Canadians. 🤣
I didn’t find out until grandpa had been [gone] for about 15 years. Found grandpa’s name on another family tree and sent a “hi! And you are?” message. Immediately got back “we’ve been looking for you all for years” message.
Fast forward a few years, and my dutch cousin has some to visit us in Canada, and I have been to the Netherlands to meet a huge family I never knew about. It’s wild.
ETA: I can’t believe how this blew up! I’m trying to respond to everyone’s questions, but here are a few bits:
-Grandpa and this woman were in LUV. My cousin hasd boxes of artifacts from their relationship. They went to family weddings together, socialized publicly, etc.
-apparently in these days, parents had to give permission for a girl to marry a foreigner. (Don’t know if this was a legal thing, or a societal pressure thing.). But the bottom line was that her parents wouldn’t give permission. He still sent money and photos and stuff, and so they decided to tell him the baby had [passed away] in hopes that he would stop trying. It worked.
-Grandpa went on and got married and had 3 kids, then split and got married again, this time to my grandma. But my whole life, he got SO emotional when talking about NL. More so than Italy or Germany, where he was also stationed. I always throught that this was because he was part of the liberation of holland, so he felt more connected to the people there. (I was kind of right!)
-my Dutch cousin and his family are AMAZING. They invited my partner and I to NL last year, and the best way I can phrase is is “we met as strangers, and we left as family”. We still talk all the time. His 8 year old daughter loves to make fun of my Canadian accent when I try to speak Dutch, and I love that.
2nd edit: just a fun story. When I visited NL, I was lucky enough to go to my cousin’s anniversary party and meet a couple hundred wonderful locals. They kept excitedly calling us the “Kennedys”, and my partner and I were sooo confused, but flattered. (We thought maybe it was slang for North Americans? We had no idea!) Fast forward a couple of days, and we went to the cemetery for Canadian soldiers and saw the sign….. Canadese is Dutch for Canadians. 🤣
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25points
#15
I found out I’m not Irish after taking one....I have an Irish tattoo. My mom's family always bragged about how Irish we were. My life obviously wasn’t destroyed but funny anyways.
It was over twenty years ago, I was 18 and stupid. The tattoo is a nautical compass with a Celtic knot in the middle on my shoulder.
Anchor689:
Well, that sounds like a good excuse to move to Ireland and become a citizen. Then your tattoo will be accurate.
angryPenguinator:
Not 23 and me, exactly, but I did a bunch of research on Ancestry and find out my great grandparents came over on a boat in the late 1800's from Columbia.
My mother has been telling us we are half Italian my whole life, and my brother has a big Italian flag tattoo.
Oops.
It was over twenty years ago, I was 18 and stupid. The tattoo is a nautical compass with a Celtic knot in the middle on my shoulder.
Anchor689:
Well, that sounds like a good excuse to move to Ireland and become a citizen. Then your tattoo will be accurate.
angryPenguinator:
Not 23 and me, exactly, but I did a bunch of research on Ancestry and find out my great grandparents came over on a boat in the late 1800's from Columbia.
My mother has been telling us we are half Italian my whole life, and my brother has a big Italian flag tattoo.
Oops.
24points
#16
I grew up in foster homes. Never met my dad. My mom passed away. Through, ancestry.com and the help of a stranger, I was able to track down my biological father. Unfortunately, he passed 9 months earlier.
His widow got my letter in the mail addressed to him, asking if he might be my father. She called me, and in our phone conversation it was pretty apparent she did not take it very well. She was super angry at me. There was nothing I could do to try to convince her I'm not scammer, and if was true that her husband was father. She royally flipped out in the most negative way. I got nothing but tears and anger at me and in return I gave her nothing but understanding and kindness. I understand she is a grieving widow. I never reached out to her again because I feel I was a source of tremendous sadness, even though I was born before their marriage.
But through, the telephone conversation I found out I had a half sister. I wrote my half sister via e-mail. (friend was able to find the e-mail addy). We sent a few messages back and fourth and then she ghosted me. I kept it as positive as I could and tried to provide as much information as I could that I'm not a scammer, that I am a good person and that I am sincere. It's been a year, and I've reached out twice more since then, several months apart but she has gone completely dark on me.
I'd really like to know about my father. What was he like? How did he pass? Could I see some pictures? Could they tell me more about my heritage but at the same time it's pretty clear they don't want anything to do with me.
It might have been better if I just left it a mystery.
Fluffybunnykitten:
The widow was probably more upset at the infidelity. He took it to his grave so she took it out on you. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
His widow got my letter in the mail addressed to him, asking if he might be my father. She called me, and in our phone conversation it was pretty apparent she did not take it very well. She was super angry at me. There was nothing I could do to try to convince her I'm not scammer, and if was true that her husband was father. She royally flipped out in the most negative way. I got nothing but tears and anger at me and in return I gave her nothing but understanding and kindness. I understand she is a grieving widow. I never reached out to her again because I feel I was a source of tremendous sadness, even though I was born before their marriage.
But through, the telephone conversation I found out I had a half sister. I wrote my half sister via e-mail. (friend was able to find the e-mail addy). We sent a few messages back and fourth and then she ghosted me. I kept it as positive as I could and tried to provide as much information as I could that I'm not a scammer, that I am a good person and that I am sincere. It's been a year, and I've reached out twice more since then, several months apart but she has gone completely dark on me.
I'd really like to know about my father. What was he like? How did he pass? Could I see some pictures? Could they tell me more about my heritage but at the same time it's pretty clear they don't want anything to do with me.
It might have been better if I just left it a mystery.
Fluffybunnykitten:
The widow was probably more upset at the infidelity. He took it to his grave so she took it out on you. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
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23points
#17
I have an 86 year old friend that found out he has another son (has 6 kids by an ex wife). The guy is 61 and has been looking for his father all of his life. My friend only went out with the mother twice and then she disappeared. They met for the first time this month. I hope they have several more years to get to spend time together.
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23points
#18
My mom’s coworker (adopted) took the test and found a full sibling match (and then found out she had actually 4 full siblings). The coworker and sibling made contact but couldn’t piece together the story so the sibling put her in touch with her bio parents. Both of them flat out denied that she was their daughter and freaked out.
After a few go-arounds with the parents, the dad admitted to this lady that she was their daughter but the mother had gotten pregnant super young and they weren’t ready to start a family so they sent her to one of those homes where she gave birth and immediately put her up for adoption. Then the parents just decided it never happened and lived their lives (got married, had kids) like they didn’t give their first born child up for adoption because of societal pressures. But the mother actually believes she never had this first daughter because of some psychotic break and cannot accept her own reality as truth.
PhukYoo2:
My wife has a cousin that was adopted. He was finally able to find his bio parents and he had several full siblings. As an only child, he was so happy and reached out only to be told he wasn’t one of them. He was dropped off for adoption because he was born after the parents divorce and no one wanted him, including his siblings. Really heartbreaking to hear about because he’d always wanted this big family and they wouldn’t accept him.
After a few go-arounds with the parents, the dad admitted to this lady that she was their daughter but the mother had gotten pregnant super young and they weren’t ready to start a family so they sent her to one of those homes where she gave birth and immediately put her up for adoption. Then the parents just decided it never happened and lived their lives (got married, had kids) like they didn’t give their first born child up for adoption because of societal pressures. But the mother actually believes she never had this first daughter because of some psychotic break and cannot accept her own reality as truth.
PhukYoo2:
My wife has a cousin that was adopted. He was finally able to find his bio parents and he had several full siblings. As an only child, he was so happy and reached out only to be told he wasn’t one of them. He was dropped off for adoption because he was born after the parents divorce and no one wanted him, including his siblings. Really heartbreaking to hear about because he’d always wanted this big family and they wouldn’t accept him.
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22points
#19
I know it's not the question, but 23andme actually brought my family closer together! My cousin did one of the tests and she ended up finding her long lost sister that my aunt had to give up for adoption over 30 years ago. It was a really surreal experience and my aunt and her family have never been happier :).
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22points
#20
Grandma cheated on Grandpa while he was in Korea. She had a baby girl and put her up for adoption all before Grandpa came home from the war. They then went on to have 5 boys. None of which knew they had an older sister. My dad's cousin matched with my newfound aunt on 23andme and since she only lives an hour away, she stops by once a month to get to know the family.
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22points