69 Exact Moments When People Saw Just How Dumb Their Partner Was

My college gf took me to her mega-church. Though I was a bit uncomfortable, I was open-minded. I have no problem with someone being religious, but when the pastor went: "when Satan comes to get you, you put your hand up and tell him, 'Satan, you can't take me because I tithe and give offerings to the church!'" the crowd erupted in cheers, and I instantly lost respect for all 3000 of them, including my gf.

My husband was feeling unwell and began googling his symptoms. After a while of silence, he suddenly turns to me in a panic and says "I think I have pre-eclampsia!".

More cute than anything but I’m half French and my current English gf said to 2 months into dating.

“I love you but why do you keep calling me bunny when we go to sleep, it’s really weird”

Bonne nuit, I was saying good night in French.

Anyways, I call her bunny all the time now just to annoy her.

My boyfriend refused to eat basil I had bought from the grocery store because it was a full plant. I was keeping it outside and he insisted that he would not eat "dirty" food. I asked where he thought farmers kept produce and he said that they has "special areas" for food to grow that was sterilized but my plant was not "food grade"


I just looked at him with a dumbfounded look. I didn't know how to respond.

My wife (a medical professional) once asked me why men even have belly buttons.

I looked at her with my mouth wide open and said nothing for what felt like 30 seconds. I then saw the look of realization in her eyes as she turned and walked away in quiet shame.

My wife was commenting on a man who we knew dated a lot of women. One day we saw him with his kid.

She said, "I bet he doesn't even know who the mother is."

I dated a guy in college who visited me in my rural hometown and asked what the animals in the neighbor's field were. I said 'cows" in a you must be fooling me level of disbelief.

He proceeded to tell me they can't be cows because cows are black and white and these animals were all brown. I had to pull up Google to prove to him that brown cows existed. I could maybe understand if he'd been from a city but he told ne he was from a rural suburb, not a city so I guess he was just an idiot.

We were getting ready to move and we’re going through each room, discussing whether to take or get rid of the furniture. In the bedroom, I remarked that I would like to get new bedside lamps. The ones we had were from his bachelor apartment over a decade ago.

He said, “I can see why you’d like new lamps, but it’s kind of amazing that the light bulbs have lasted ten years.”

Dear gentle reader, the light bulbs had not lasted that long. He just was never the one to change them.

Having a discussion with my wife about not using certain Christmas tree decorations because they were glass and we had small kids.

Her: They’re not glass.

Me: They are though.

Her: No they’re not! See? *proceeds to drop one straight onto the hardwood floor*

~SMASH!~

Me: …

Her: …

Me: (with deadest straight face I have ever managed in my life) …I’ll get the broom.

And that is why we are still married.

My boyfriend at the time is american. i am italian. the first time he met my father, he tried to impress him by speaking in my native language. long story short, someone in his life failed him immensely because he genuinely was unaware italy had a language of its own and assumed we spoke french. my dad was very confused. i laughed until i almost passed out. he was so embarrassed.

in that moment, i knew i would love him forever. we get married this year, and he is determined to say his vows in italian.

On a camping trip. She was worried about parking the car on the grass because she thought the grass was going to grow, puncturing and flattening the tires.

I bought fresh broccoli and my husband asked why I got such one huge broccoli and not the normal smaller ones. He thought broccoli naturally comes in bite-sized florets.

He thought potatoes never go bad because his mom always kept a bag in the pantry. I asked him if they ate a lot of potatoes and he said yes. They have a large family with 6 kids and it still didn't click.

My husband was convinced that bees and wasps are THE SAME THING, just at different times of the year. He thought bees grew up into wasps during the summer...

I love him, but...

HOW.

My partner was grunting and groaning at the bin. He said ‘we need new bin bags, these ones you’ve bought don’t bloody fit’. Went over to see what was going on and he had a roll of small black dog bags in his hand with one unfurled trying to work out why it wouldn’t fit in the bin. There were bin bags, he’d just picked up the wrong roll and instead of realizing, tried to get a dog bag in a bin 50 times bigger.

She didn't know that a "rhino" and a "rhinoceros" are the same thing.

She thought rhinoceroses didn't exist anymore because dinosaurs are extinct.

My husband thought people whistled when they set off fireworks. He didn’t realize the fireworks themselves whistles. Though that was one of his more harmless stupidities.

My wife went to the store to get cilantro for our tacos. She came home with parsley. Easy mistake, they look similar if you don't look closely enough. I told her she bought parsely. She was convinced it was cilantro. I had her taste it. I showed her the tag on the bundle that said parsley. She relunctantly went back to the store to get cilantro...

She came home with another bundle of parsley.

I love this woman, but this moment I was questioning everything about her problem solving skills. The good news is, she has never brought home parsley again.

My husband went in dollar general for toilet paper. We had maybe $50 to last the week. This man came back with $40 of mango juice because it was on sale and no toilet paper.

I drank the juice but I was awfully salty about it.

Girl I was dating was making nachos and shredding cheese.  She cuts herself and blood gets on the cheese and the shredder.  


As she gets a band aid, Ipick up the cheese and as I am throwing it away, she freaks out as now I may have AIDS.  Like what.  She is hard freaking out that I just got exposed to AIDS and I needed to get medical attention.  


After talking, it turns out she thought AIDS was everywhere.  Like any blood outside the body could just magically get it. Her stupidity was a relief that night.