Everyone is familiar with unfading classics in the comedy world, but we wouldn’t stretch it too far to nominate bar jokes as king of them all. They are like little bundles of laughter shared in the heart of good company. They can be great conversation starters, too!
From the classic “man walks into a bar” tales to clever bartender jokes, these quips promise to tickle your funny bone. Bars are not just for jokes and drinks, though. You can hear many remarkable stories, explore various people’s lives, and make new friends. And all those are connected by the specific humor in your local pub.
Whether you’re a seasoned bar hopper looking for the next couple of one-liner jokes, you can tell your drinking buddies or just seeking a chuckle, this collection will offer you a delightful escape into the realm of humor.
So, with no further ado, dive into this list and hold on to your chairs! You’ll have a difficult time remaining seated due to laughter. Share with your family and friends and make their day brighter, too.
#121
Two antennae met in a bar, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
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#122
A giraffe walked into a bar and the bartender said, “Do you want a long neck?” The giraffe asked, “Do I have a choice?”
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#123
A green photon walked into a bar. The bartender said, "you look fluorescent!" The photon turned red and left.
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#124
A dog walks into a bar and, orders water because he can't hold his licker.
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#125
A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what he’d like. The horse doesn’t reply because it’s a horse and obviously can’t speak or understand English. Several people get up and leave, sensing the danger of having a live animal in a bar.
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#126
An oxymoron walks into a bar, and the sound was deafening.
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#127
Three vampires walk into a bar.
The first one says, “I’ll have a pint of blood.”
The second one says, “I’ll have one, too.”
The third one says, “I’ll have a pint of plasma.”
The bartender says, “So, that’ll be two bloods and a blood lite?”
The first one says, “I’ll have a pint of blood.”
The second one says, “I’ll have one, too.”
The third one says, “I’ll have a pint of plasma.”
The bartender says, “So, that’ll be two bloods and a blood lite?”
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#128
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, “Is the bartender here?”
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#129
What’s a shepherd’s favorite style of beer?
Lambic.
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#130
A cockroach, a rat, and an ant walk into a bar.
They receive strange looks from all those inside, as the bartender calls pest control.
They receive strange looks from all those inside, as the bartender calls pest control.
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#131
A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.
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#132
An infinite amount of mathematicians walked into a bar. The first ordered a pint, the second ordered a half pint, the third ordered a fourth pint, etc. The Bartender eventually walked up and gave them two pints and said: “You mathematicians don’t know your limits.”
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#133
A man walks into a bar with a chunk of asphalt under one arm. The man says, "Beer, please, and one for the road."
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#134
A screwdriver rolls into a bar.
The bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!”
The screwdriver squeals, “You have a drink named Philip?”
The bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!”
The screwdriver squeals, “You have a drink named Philip?”
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#135
Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”
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#136
A crab walks into a bar and says, “I’ll have a pint please, but if I’m not satisfied with it, I’d like to be compensated with 10 bottles of champagne.”
The bartender says, “Why the big clause?”
The bartender says, “Why the big clause?”
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