In my personal experience, people make bank jokes only in two cases: they have either never taken out a loan or their relationship with the bank is so bad, there is nothing left but to laugh.
Money jokes aside (money pun intended!), dealing with your finances can be pretty overwhelming, and that’s why being financially literate comes in really handy. You don’t need to become an economist or a banker, but having an elementary understanding of how to manage your resources will help you not only better distribute your income but also find ways to increase it.
An interesting thing with jokes on finance is that whether you find them funny or not, many of them can actually teach you some financial wisdom. However, if you want to share a money joke with your friends or colleagues, make sure you know that they will take it well. Money and finances can be a sensitive topic, and in some societies it is even considered taboo, so you don’t want to offend people you care about.
But if you enjoy jokes about money, financial specialists, and the economy in general, we have a collection of jokes about banking you could read while waiting for your turn in the bank. If you are feeling especially adventurous, you can even share them with your bank operator and have a good laugh together.
#141
"Talked to my bank manager the other day and he said he was going to concentrate on the big issues from now on. He sold me one outside Boots yesterday!"
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#142
What's the problem with banker jokes?
Bankers don't think they're funny, normal people don't think they're jokes.
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#143
A man and his wife were discussing what they thought their son might be when he grew up. "I have an idea," said the father. He put a ten-dollar bill, a bottle of whiskey, and a Bible on the coffee table. "If he takes the money he'll be a banker. If he takes the whiskey he'll be a wino, and if he takes the Bible that means he'll be a preacher."
So the man and his wife hide just before their son comes in the door, and watch from where they're hiding.
The boy saunters over to the coffee table. He picks up the ten-dollar bill, looks at it, then sets it down. He picks up the bottle of whiskey, uncorks it, sniffs it, then sets it down. Then he picks up the Bible, leafs through it, then sets it down.
Then the boy takes the money and stuffs it into his pocket, grabs the whiskey, and walks off with the Bible under his arm.
"Well how do you like that!" exclaims the father. "He's going to be a politician!"
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#144
A 90 year old woman is getting married for the fourth time.
A news crew is there to document the story.
The reporter asks the woman about her odd marital past.
A news crew is there to document the story.
The reporter asks the woman about her odd marital past.
"Let me get this right," he says. "Your first husband was a banker. Your second husband was a clown. Your third husband was a doctor, and you're about to marry a mortician. Why the menagerie of different men?"
She smirked and said, "It was one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and four to go."
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#145
"My dad works as a banker at Wells Fargo. I asked him to open a checking account for me. "A checking account? What do you need two checking accounts for? Are you sure you want three checking accounts and a saving account? Fine, I'll open four checking accounts, two savings accounts and a line of credit for you.""
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#146
In a bar, there's a guy hitting on a cute banker girl.
The guy brags about all his riches and possessions, but he got shot down by the girl immediately.
The girl said, "Leave me a loan!"
The guy noticed the wordplay, he praised the girl. "That's a pretty clever pun! ...But not as pretty as you"
The girl, now irritated, said. "I'm not kidding, leave me a loan! I lost interest."
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#147
Why did the banker break up with his girlfriend?
Because she showed him no interest.
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#148
What did the recluse say to the bank teller when he needed money?
“Leave me a loan.”
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#149
If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?
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#150
What’s the difference between a tragedy and a catastrophe?
A tragedy is a ship full of bankers going down in a storm; a catastrophe is when they can all swim.
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#151
Einstein dies and goes to heaven only to be informed that his room is not yet ready.
“I hope you will not mind waiting in a dormitory. We are very sorry, but it’s the best we can do and you will have to share the room with others” he is told by the doorman.
“I hope you will not mind waiting in a dormitory. We are very sorry, but it’s the best we can do and you will have to share the room with others” he is told by the doorman.
Einstein says that this is no problem at all and that there is no need to make such a great fuss.
So the doorman leads him to the dorm.
They enter and Albert is introduced to all of the present inhabitants. “See, here is your first roommate. He has an IQ of 180!”
So the doorman leads him to the dorm.
They enter and Albert is introduced to all of the present inhabitants. “See, here is your first roommate. He has an IQ of 180!”
”That’s wonderful!” says Albert. “We can discuss mathematics!”
”And here is your second roommate. His IQ is 150!”
”That’s wonderful!” says Albert. “We can discuss physics!”
”And here is your third roommate. His IQ is 100!”
”That’s wonderful! We can discuss the latest plays at the theater!”
Just then another man moves out to capture Albert’s hand and shake it.
“I’m your last roommate and I’m sorry, but my IQ is only 80.”
“I’m your last roommate and I’m sorry, but my IQ is only 80.”
Albert smiles back at him and says, “So, where do you think interest rates are headed?”
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#152
During a bank robbery, the Chief told the Sergeant to cover all exits so that the robbers could not get away.
Ten minutes later, the Sergeant reports to the Chief, “Sorry sir but they got away.”
The chief replies, “I told you to cover all exits, didn’t I?”
Ten minutes later, the Sergeant reports to the Chief, “Sorry sir but they got away.”
The chief replies, “I told you to cover all exits, didn’t I?”
“I did but they got away through the entrance.”
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#153
A guy walks into the bank, pulls out a gun, points it at the teller and screams, “Give me all your money or you’re geography!”
The teller replies, “Don’t you mean history?”
The robber says, “Don’t change the subject!”
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#154
Bank robbery is a safe job.
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#155
"I’m worried about the state of my bank. I tried five different ATMs today and they’ve all told me they have “Insufficient Funds.”"
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#156
"I’m not saying that my friend has a poor credit score but when he went to the bank for a loan, they wouldn’t lend him a pen to fill in the application."
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#157
Why can’t snakes rob a bank?
Because they are unarmed.
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#158
What do you call it when the ocean commits a bank robbery?
A crime wave.
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#159
What did the banker say to the electrician?
“We will pay for your current account.”
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#160
Did you hear about the bird that held up a bank?
It was a robin’.
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