In the world of funny jokes, there’s one category that’s way funnier and way cuter than the rest. Have any guesses? Well, of course, it’s a sure shot as we can all agree that those jokes definitely, absolutely, obviously are animal jokes. Same as the animals themselves - curious, hilarious, and adorable - these cool jokes will most likely make you go ‘awww’ and ‘hee haw’ at the very same time. Dare to disagree? Then check out our collection of the very best animal jokes without succumbing to the charms of the fauna and without losing your socks writhing in joy. If you do succeed in avoiding these expressive matters, though, then we congratulate you on being the most imperturbable person on the face of the Earth.
Anyhoo, why don’t we talk about the cuteness of these awesome jokes and the animals themselves a bit more? Talking about round, fluffy, squishy, and peculiar beings is, after all, one of our favorite things to do! So, no need for high-stakes betting on the topics discussed in these hilarious jokes, for there will definitely be sharp-clawed kittens, snotty-nosed puppies, beady-eyed field mice, smooth-skinned piglets, and sharp-toothed crocodiles who promise to see you after a while. And if these animals are too regular for your taste, then how about some adorable jokes on aye-ayes, pink fairy armadillos, and ocelots? We sure do have some of those, too!
But, before we get a prominent toothache from listing the sweetness you are about to witness with your eyes and your heart, why don’t we go to the actual animal jokes just a bit further down? Once you are there, give your generous vote for the funniest (or the most charming) of them all, so they will proudly take their spot at the top of this list. Once this step is fulfilled, share these clever jokes with your friends. That is, if you wish to see them turning into mush from this cotton candy sweetness of animal jokes.
#21
"Two men are hiking through the woods when one of them cries out, "Snake! Run!" His companion laughs at him. "Oh, relax. It’s only a baby," he says. "Don’t you hear the rattle?" - Steve Smith
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#22
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost.
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#23
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
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#24
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
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#25
Just realized a pregnant dog is a dog full of puppies. That’s the best.
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#26
How are a cat and a sentence different?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws; a sentence has a pause at the end of its clause!
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#27
What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?
A walkie-talkie!
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#28
You would think that taking off a snail's shell would make it move faster, but it actually just makes it more sluggish.
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#29
Did you hear that NASA has launched several cows into orbit?
It was the herd shot around the world.
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#30
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
Because they lactose.
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#31
Why do fish live in saltwater?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
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#32
What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
Ouch.
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#33
An elephant drinking from a stream spots a tortoise lounging on the shore. He grabs it with his trunk and flings it into the jungle. A passing zebra asks, "Why did you do that?" ...... "Forty years ago that very tortoise nipped my tail just for fun," the elephant said. "Wow, forty years ago! How did you remember that?" "Well I have turtle recall," replied the elephant.
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#34
A rancher was persuaded to cross-breed his cattle with hyenas. It was a disaster. The offspring were the laughing stock of the community!
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#35
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Of course. Buildings can’t jump.
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#36
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll!
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#37
"It’s a good thing snakes and dogs don’t interbreed. Nobody wants a loyal snake." - Roy Blount
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#38
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
"Dam!"
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#39
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey." The horse says, "You read my mind, buddy."
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#40
What's the first thing you should do if a bull charges you?
Pay him!
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