People Are Adding "And Then The Murders Began" To Famous Book Openings, And It's Impossible Not To Laugh

I'm pretty much f@@cked. And then the murders began.
('The Martian' Andy Weir)

The Mole had been working very hard all the morning, spring-cleaning his little home. And then the murders began. (The Wind in the Willows, Kenneth Grahame)

The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed. And then the murders began. (The Dark Tower: The Gunslinger, Stephen King)

"Christmas won't be Christmas without any presents," grumbled Jo, lying on the rug. And then the murders began. (Little Women, Louisa May Alcott)

Judy can pet the bunny, now you pet the bunny and then the murders began

At the end of a hot November day Miss Baines and Mrs Williams of the Ladie's Frocks Department at Goode's were complaining to each other while they changed out of their black frocks before going home. And then the murders began.

(The Women in Black. Author: Madeleine St John)

Dim vales- and shadowy floods-
And cloudy-looking woods,
Whose forms we can't discover
For the tears that drip all over!
Huge moons there wax and wane-
Again- again- again-
Every moment of the night-
Forever changing places-
And they put out the star-light
With the breath from their pale faces.
About twelve by the moon-dial, and then the murders began. (Edgar Allen Poe, "Fairyland")

Girls entered the building, then the murders began...

THE FLOTILLAS OF THE DEAD sailed around the world on underwater rivers, and then the murders began.... GOING POSTAL Terry Pratchett

"I think it's time," said Grandma Mouse to Great Aunt Emily,"for a family get-together.I'll ask them all to tea." And then the murders began.(say Cheese-David Pelham)

The reason weetzie bat hated high school is because no one understood. And then the murders began.
-Weetzie Bat, Francesca Lia Block

1791 was the year it happened. I was 24, younger than you are now. But times were different then, I was a man at that age: the master of a large plantation just south of New Orleans. I had lost my wife in childbirth, and she and the infant had been buried less than half a year. And then the murders began.
-Interview with the Vampire, Anne Rice

Once upon a time there was a mother pig who had three little pigs. And then the murders began.

There was no possibility of taking a walk that day. We had been wandering, indeed, in the leafless shrubbery an hour in the morning; but since dinner (Mrs. Reed, when there was no company, dined early) the cold winter wind had brought with it clouds so sombre, and a rain so penetrating, that further out-door exercise was now out of the question. And then, the murders began. (Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte)

"And now," cried Max, "let the wild rumpus start!" And the the murders began.

Mr. Jones, of the Manor Farm, had locked the hen-houses for the night, but was too drunk to remember to shut the popholes. And then the murders began. --Animal Farm by George Orwell

His name was Gaal Dornick and he was just a country boy who had never seen Trantor before. And then the murders began.
- Isaac Asimov : Foundation

Ho Chi Mihn City in the summer. Sweltering by anyone's standards. And then the murders began.
- Eion Colfer : Artemis Fowl

Then: Monument Plaza. Chains rattle as they lash the neck of Emperor Palpatine. And then the murders began.
- Cuck Wendig : Starwars Aftermath

His name was Gaal Dornick and he was just a country boy who had never seen Trantor before. And then the murders began.
- Isaac Asimov : Foundation

Ho Chi Mihn City in the summer. Sweltering by anyone's standards. And then the murders began.
- Eion Colfer : Artemis Fowl

Then: Monument Plaza. Chains rattle as they lash the neck of Emperor Palpatine. And then the murders began.
- Cuck Wendig : Starwars Aftermath