Clinical psychologist Alicia Viforj tells Bored Panda that complaining is a form of communication. “If someone is complaining to us, they might be trying to communicate their emotional experience and express dissatisfaction.”
Shared complaining in groups (like these generational ones) can also serve as a way of social bonding.
Sometimes people grumble as a way to regulate emotions, too. By venting their feelings, they can lessen the severity or let go of these distressing emotions.
We were curious to know if one age group ‘whines’ more than the other. However, it’s hard to say.
“Complaining tendencies can vary across age groups, but it’s essential to recognize that chronic complaining isn’t exclusive to any particular demographic,” says Viforj. “There is some research that suggests that older people tend to complain more, but further studies may be warranted. Individual personalities and life circumstances play a greater role than age.”
Even though complaining has a negative connotation in society, it’s not always necessarily bad. “Sometimes it helps people to connect to others by forming a sort of alliance with them against the thing they are complaining about, sometimes people feel the need to vent and offset their negative emotion, it can help people feel validated and avoid responsibility in a situation,” explains Viforj.
However, constant 'whinging' without ever trying to find a solution to the problem that is bothering us can have negative effects. “The costs of complaining are that it can reinforce negative emotions, cause the transference of that emotion to another person who is hearing the complaint, and cause relationship difficulties between people,” says Viforj.
Asked if people should complain less, the clinical psychologist said that it would definitely help to improve an individual’s mindset.
In order to do so, she recommends practicing gratitude and regularly reminding yourself of the positive aspects of your life. She also recommends journaling your thoughts by spending a few minutes each day reflecting on your complaints and their most common themes. Then think about what you would like to change about it.
Some additional strategies to lessen complaints include:
- Seeking support: Reach out to supportive friends or family members.
- Problem-solving: Instead of complaining, take steps to solve the problem.
- Replacing negative thoughts: Challenge negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones.
- Be mindful of triggers: Notice situations or people that trigger complaints.
- Experiment: Embrace the idea of trying new approaches.
