Lickerman concludes that anger over incompetence (yours or others') is more about the desire of power. "Why does anyone become angry when their competence is questioned? Because anger makes us feel strong. And if we can't make ourselves feel strong by experiencing competence, we'll make ourselves feel strong by experiencing anger."
This is obviously not a good response mechanism. We become angry at ourselves and at others for pointing out our incompetence. It hurts relationships, lowers our self-worth, and, as Lickerman writes, in extreme cases, can evolve into depression.
But what about anger over the incompetence of others? We're certainly not mad at ourselves for someone else not doing a job well, right? David Lechnyr writes about the effects of someone else's incompetence.
"Being resentful and upset over 'the incompetence of others' will block your own progress in life. It will affect your ability to make changes, heal, have less pain, or improve your own relationships and life."
Trying to change others to make them more competent isn't an optimal strategy. That's the number one rule in therapy, isn't it? You can't change what others do, you can only change your perception and how you react. As a cognitive behavior therapist, Lechnyr suggests dropping the need to be a perfectionist.
