February 14th is this week, and that means social media is filling up with pictures of “perfect” couples, telling us what true love really looks like. And of course, some of those darlings are genuinely happy to be together and simply want to show off their charming partner. There’s nothing wrong with that.
However, what’s often forgotten during this time of year is that both casual dates and serious relationships come with disappointment, too. So to reassure you that the most appropriate expectations for Valentine’s Day may be none at all, we compiled a collection of the worst experiences people have had while celebrating this special occasion. One has to wonder: what did they do to end up on Cupid’s naughty list?
#1
My then-husband spent days and days obsessing over a care package to send to our (female) friend while she was studying overseas. Thoughtful!
Then, he didn't get me anything for Valentine's Day. At all. And he was working at a FLORIST at the time!
I got mad and said I would have appreciated at least a gesture. He yelled, "I'll give you a gesture!" and raised both middle digits and stormed out.
Did I mention he was working at a FLORIST? When he got to work the next day, everyone was appalled and told him how badly he had screwed up. He showed up at my office the next day with a gigantic bouquet.
I was not overly impressed. He didn't need any help coming up with a thoughtful gift for our overseas friend that he obviously had a crush on.
this is pretty mild compared to all these other stories! But I never looked at him the same after that, and we split up a few months later.
Then, he didn't get me anything for Valentine's Day. At all. And he was working at a FLORIST at the time!
I got mad and said I would have appreciated at least a gesture. He yelled, "I'll give you a gesture!" and raised both middle digits and stormed out.
Did I mention he was working at a FLORIST? When he got to work the next day, everyone was appalled and told him how badly he had screwed up. He showed up at my office the next day with a gigantic bouquet.
I was not overly impressed. He didn't need any help coming up with a thoughtful gift for our overseas friend that he obviously had a crush on.
this is pretty mild compared to all these other stories! But I never looked at him the same after that, and we split up a few months later.
47points
#2
Guy I was dating at the time asked me to be his valentine and invited me for a date on Valentine’s Day - I said yes, he said “let’s get each other a gift!” Nothing expensive but I think it would be fun.” I said “ok I’m in!” I showed up with a heart shaped box of chocolates - he showed up with nothing. He laughed at me when I gave him the chocolates!!! And then he says “thanks for dressing up for me…” sarcastically. I was wearing cute jeans and a t shirt that fit really well (I looked good, I always like to look nice) meanwhile he was wearing a dirty sweatsuit that he worked in (personal trainer) with visible sweat stains and had not showered.
He then went on to say I bought “cheap” drugstore chocolates. At least I brought you a present! The gifts weren’t even my idea! I felt like such a dummy giving this guy a heart shaped box of candy, fully expecting to get something cheesy back like a rose or a teddy bear. Other people in the restaurant very clearly clocked what was going on - I got several looks of sympathy/pity from neighboring tables. I didn’t even know if I liked him yet - it was our third date!!! The freaking presents were his idea and I ended up looking like I was obsessed with him.
Before we ordered drinks I explained to him why what he did was bad and that if he likes a girl he should definitely never do it again. “Generally it’s considered rude for a person to suggest a gift exchange and then not actually bring a gift - makes the other person feel like a jerk and reveals the suggester to BE a jerk.” I also suggested he take a shower and wear some real clothes on his next date.
“You don’t see anything wrong with negging me for “not dressing up” while you showed up in nasty workout gear? my outfit is casual, but we are at a casual restaurant and I’m clean and I look nice. You aren’t even clean - I can smell you from across the table.” Good hygiene is kind of the bare minimum requirement as far as appearance goes in dating. He couldn’t even do that. got up told him to keep the chocolates and I left. Learned my lesson lol. He looked totally shocked that I was leaving and acted like I was a “dramatic” crazy lady. Since then I only get someone a gift when asked for secret Santa!! Otherwise, if you want to give me a gift, go ahead! If I want to give you someone a gift - I will make that decision on my own. Never again!!! I hope he ate the chocolates and cried and got a cavity.
He then went on to say I bought “cheap” drugstore chocolates. At least I brought you a present! The gifts weren’t even my idea! I felt like such a dummy giving this guy a heart shaped box of candy, fully expecting to get something cheesy back like a rose or a teddy bear. Other people in the restaurant very clearly clocked what was going on - I got several looks of sympathy/pity from neighboring tables. I didn’t even know if I liked him yet - it was our third date!!! The freaking presents were his idea and I ended up looking like I was obsessed with him.
Before we ordered drinks I explained to him why what he did was bad and that if he likes a girl he should definitely never do it again. “Generally it’s considered rude for a person to suggest a gift exchange and then not actually bring a gift - makes the other person feel like a jerk and reveals the suggester to BE a jerk.” I also suggested he take a shower and wear some real clothes on his next date.
“You don’t see anything wrong with negging me for “not dressing up” while you showed up in nasty workout gear? my outfit is casual, but we are at a casual restaurant and I’m clean and I look nice. You aren’t even clean - I can smell you from across the table.” Good hygiene is kind of the bare minimum requirement as far as appearance goes in dating. He couldn’t even do that. got up told him to keep the chocolates and I left. Learned my lesson lol. He looked totally shocked that I was leaving and acted like I was a “dramatic” crazy lady. Since then I only get someone a gift when asked for secret Santa!! Otherwise, if you want to give me a gift, go ahead! If I want to give you someone a gift - I will make that decision on my own. Never again!!! I hope he ate the chocolates and cried and got a cavity.
38points
Funnily enough, we're releasing this publication on what's known as Red Tuesday — the most common 24-hour period for breakups, according to experts, who say the looming holiday prompts people to reassess their romantic relationships.
“Break-ups happen because people don't want to fake their feelings on Valentine’s Day,” relationship expert Jessica Leoni said, expanding on a survey which found that 36 percent of people have broken up with their partner in the week leading up to Valentine's Day at some point in their lives, and that of those, 66 per cent decided to call it quits precisely on Red Tuesday.
#3
Probably not the worst, but definitely the most memorable:
I had newly started dating a co worker and while I was working on V Day, he had the day off. During my shift, I helped a hot guy who was a firefighter and we had a really lovely interaction. A few hours later, I got called to the front desk where a dozen red roses were waiting for me with no card. I just figured it was from my bf and when I got home, I called to thank him. He said, "What roses?" and there was immediately an awkward silence and an even more awkward conversation. Of course it turned out to be from the firefighter and looking back, I'm sorry I ended up turning him down.
I had newly started dating a co worker and while I was working on V Day, he had the day off. During my shift, I helped a hot guy who was a firefighter and we had a really lovely interaction. A few hours later, I got called to the front desk where a dozen red roses were waiting for me with no card. I just figured it was from my bf and when I got home, I called to thank him. He said, "What roses?" and there was immediately an awkward silence and an even more awkward conversation. Of course it turned out to be from the firefighter and looking back, I'm sorry I ended up turning him down.
35points
#4
A college boyfriend picked me up on Valentine’s Day, drove us to the local Waffle House, and proceeded to break up with me over dinner and then run out leaving me with the check. He made enough of a scene that another customer felt bad and paid for the meal.
34points
The most common reason — cited by 31 percent of survey participants — was wanting to avoid the pressure and expectations that come with the holiday.
Meanwhile, nearly a third (27 percent) admitted they didn’t want to deal with the guilt of faking affection on the most romantic day of the year.
#5
I was with a girl who was absolutely in love with me, talking about marriage, pets, kids, etc. On our 3rd Vday, at dinner I looked at her and it hit me: I realized I had lost any feelings I had for her. Nice girl, cute, treated me great, would've made a fantastic wife...I just lost those feelings. Sucks to know it's not your fault the way you feel, but to realize this poor soul is going to be crushed. It's been 5 years and I still feel horrible about that.
30points
#6
I was in kindergarten and my kindergarden-girlfriend gave me a rose. And I don't remember why but I just began to eat this rose. It ended up getting beaten up by her and she left me.
27points
“Rather than go through the motions of romance, they’d prefer to be honest — even if it means heartbreak,” Leoni said. “It’s also a time when people reflect on their relationship and decide if they truly see a future together.”
“Some feel trapped by Valentine’s Day and the expectations that come with it, and rather than putting in effort for a relationship they don’t see lasting, they cut ties instead,” she concluded.
#7
In high school I went out for Valentine's day with my then-boyfriend. We had been dating for almost a year, but this was the first time we ever really went anywhere (typical high school relationship I guess).
So we got dinner, and right before we left we exchanged presents. I was going to a fine arts school at this point so I had made him something in class that I was really proud of and hid a gift card to a store he loved inside. He gave me one of those $5 stuffed animals from walgreens and just kind of threw it at me, with no card or anything.
After that we're walking to the car, he's taking up the entire sidewalk almost, so I'm trying to walk through the mushy grass (it had been raining) in heels. I fall in the mud, practically ruin my dress, and he laughs at me.
The worst part is that he didn't even take the present I worked so hard to make for him - he "accidentally" left it at my house when he dropped me off. I still have it, too.
So we got dinner, and right before we left we exchanged presents. I was going to a fine arts school at this point so I had made him something in class that I was really proud of and hid a gift card to a store he loved inside. He gave me one of those $5 stuffed animals from walgreens and just kind of threw it at me, with no card or anything.
After that we're walking to the car, he's taking up the entire sidewalk almost, so I'm trying to walk through the mushy grass (it had been raining) in heels. I fall in the mud, practically ruin my dress, and he laughs at me.
The worst part is that he didn't even take the present I worked so hard to make for him - he "accidentally" left it at my house when he dropped me off. I still have it, too.
25points
#8
A guy asked me out on Valentine's Day with some flowers and chocolate in hand near the end of our highschool year. I had never received a romantic gift before, so at the time I awkwardly accepted his gift with a "thank you so much." He then got upset that I apparently did not immediately want to jump into his arms. I unfortunately forgave his attitude, thinking that maybe he just needed a chance and maybe it was my fault for not reacting with more joy that he bought me flowers and chocolates.
He ended up being a terrible boyfriend, and he absolutely loved to bring up that he got me flowers and chocolates on Valentine's Day, even though he never got me anymore gifts after we started dating. Anytime I made him mad or if we argued, he would hold it over my head about the flowers and chocolates he got for me *once* in our relationship, every single time.
I now hate receiving flowers from men and am happy to never get gifts from them ever again if that means they can't hold it against my head like a gun.
He ended up being a terrible boyfriend, and he absolutely loved to bring up that he got me flowers and chocolates on Valentine's Day, even though he never got me anymore gifts after we started dating. Anytime I made him mad or if we argued, he would hold it over my head about the flowers and chocolates he got for me *once* in our relationship, every single time.
I now hate receiving flowers from men and am happy to never get gifts from them ever again if that means they can't hold it against my head like a gun.
24points
#9
I realized that the Valentine's Day cards I had been receiving from my secret admirer for years were from my parents.
24points
#10
The ex-boyfriend who bought himself an iguana and the whole kit. He was so excited and made me close my eyes for “my” big surprise. I was livid, not only because I hate reptiles, but because he had no clue it was Valentine’s Day.
I went out of town the next day without telling him and went skiing with friends in Vermont.
I went out of town the next day without telling him and went skiing with friends in Vermont.
23points
#11
Mine’s probably very minor compared to others - my first Valentines with a boyfriend, in my early 20s, he asks me if I like stuffed animals. I say no because I’ve always found them annoying. He gets me one anyway. Like I said, minor, but a good example of why that relationship didn’t work out - he had a fixed idea of how things were supposed to go and just wanted any woman to fit into his picture as the girlfriend.
23points
#12
Wife and I (fiancée at the time) got dinner, both got food poisoning, and spent the next day or two taking turns in the bathroom. Not quite romantic.
23points
#13
Idk what was worse, the few years with my ex where he didn’t get me anything and threw a fit if my female friends got me something OR after I was newly single again going out with friends after agreeing we’d be each others valentines, I brought them mini teddy bears and candy hearts and they gave a “thanks” and tossed them aside, then at dinner they sat in silence the entire time because they didn't want to spend money at the restaurant THEY picked, I then proceeded to pay for our Photo Booth pictures together, silly me, they ran my card and ended up spending $40 worth of pictures only to ghost me a week later.
20points
#14
Last Valentine's I spent with my ex. I made us a lovely dinner (lamb shoulder chops, roasted fingerling potatoes and a salad). He got home from work, ate and started a fight with me over nothing so he could retreat to a bar and hit on much younger women... I stayed home and cried, texted my mom about it and left for a few days to stay with my folks. I found out a couple months later he began cheating on me during that time...
20points
#15
My first valentines with a boyfriend at 16, I found out he was cheating on me cause he brought a valentine for another girl and tried to play it off like he felt bad for her. And then my first Valentine’s Day with my new husband, he told me he never loved me and wanted a divorce.
20points
#16
Took her out to a Couples Evening dinner, we both were in our Nice dresses, and it was a race to get home as she is about to erupt from every available orifice. The local news ran a story a few days later about there having been a *minor* problem with the salmon for quite a number of people.
18points
#17
The guy didn't do anything for valentines day. At the time I didn't think much of it, because he always said he was broke. But then my sister pointed out some pretty damning stuff.
Problem 1: he works at dominoes. He knows I love pizza. He gets free pizza at work, and they make heart shaped pizza. At the place that he knows was my current favorite pizza place.
Problem 2: he worked at dominoes. Aka, he has a job. Aka, he could get 10$ for a freaking pizza.
Problem 3: After getting that job, he bought a whole new car. You have the money for a car but not a 10$ pizza?
Problem 4: YOU DONT NEED TO SPEND MONEY TO GO ON A DATE
I should've broke up with him way sooner.
Problem 1: he works at dominoes. He knows I love pizza. He gets free pizza at work, and they make heart shaped pizza. At the place that he knows was my current favorite pizza place.
Problem 2: he worked at dominoes. Aka, he has a job. Aka, he could get 10$ for a freaking pizza.
Problem 3: After getting that job, he bought a whole new car. You have the money for a car but not a 10$ pizza?
Problem 4: YOU DONT NEED TO SPEND MONEY TO GO ON A DATE
I should've broke up with him way sooner.
18points
#18
Last year. I had to take a cab to an abortion clinic, alone, because I did not want anyone to know. It was the worst day of my life.
18points
#19
"I'm not interested in Valentines day, DO NOT GET ME ANYTHING, really, don't"
I believed her.
I believed her.
18points
#20
My ex planned a valentine’s day camping trip as my (january) birthday present. i thought that was super cute! then he invited 3 of his friends. (less cute!) like two days before the trip, one of his friends called to say he had covid, but he was still coming on the trip. i told him that i didn’t want to go camping with his friend and risk getting covid. i thought this was reasonable and that he would talk to his friend. instead, he told me i should just stay home :) (the cute is gone, along with my “birthday present” lol) they all went camping without me.
on actual valentine’s day, i went to hang out with my own friends and have dinner at their house. while my bestie was cooking, i was hanging out in the kitchen, just yappin. she had a candle on the counter that i did not pay enough attention to and yep! i accidentally caught my hair on fire, directly up the middle, leaving the middle super short and sides unscathed! luckily i wasn’t hurt (physically), just horrified. it smelled SO bad.
during the freak out that naturally ensued, he called me a few times. when i finally got myself together and called him back, he somehow made me catching my hair on fire about himself??? (still impressed as hell, honestly)
ended up crying and cutting my own hair in the shower because i had to go to work the next day. we broke up when he got home. i don’t think i’ll ever forget that one.
on actual valentine’s day, i went to hang out with my own friends and have dinner at their house. while my bestie was cooking, i was hanging out in the kitchen, just yappin. she had a candle on the counter that i did not pay enough attention to and yep! i accidentally caught my hair on fire, directly up the middle, leaving the middle super short and sides unscathed! luckily i wasn’t hurt (physically), just horrified. it smelled SO bad.
during the freak out that naturally ensued, he called me a few times. when i finally got myself together and called him back, he somehow made me catching my hair on fire about himself??? (still impressed as hell, honestly)
ended up crying and cutting my own hair in the shower because i had to go to work the next day. we broke up when he got home. i don’t think i’ll ever forget that one.
16points