30 People Share Awful Things Their Siblings Did That They Say They Will Never Forgive

To gain more insight on this topic, we reached out to family and sibling therapist Dr. Karen Gail Lewis, who was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda. We were curious how common conflicts between siblings are, and what tends to spark these issues. "Problems among siblings, for the most part, stem from situations that parents have not handled well. (Children do not come with instruction books!)," Dr. Lewis told Bored Panda. "But, if there is conflict between parents, the children often are brought in, or do it out of loyalty to one parent, to 'take sides'."

She also noted that some of the most common issues creating sibling conflicts are parental favoritism, children recreating their parents’ conflicts, parents recreating their own sibling issues with their children, parents being “switchboard operators” for the siblings, parents assigning crystallized behavioral roles to each child, dysfunctional parents causing siblings to direct their anger at each other, dysfunctional parents causing sibling to isolate themselves, a younger sibling feeling abandoned as an older sibling moves away, cultural preference in looks, abilities or personality, and mental illness or neurological conditions.

"As a sibling therapist, I always start with the assumption that there is the possibility of helping siblings understand the origin of their conflicts (which, as I may have already said, is rarely what they think it is)," Dr. Lewis told Bored Panda. "I have helped siblings where one has physically/emotionally/sexually abused another. But, there is also the possibility that reconnecting/understanding is not possible."

"When I see that continued contact (if any) is harmful without any movement, despite the therapy, I recommend 'taking a break', which can be of any length," she explained. "If not this year, maybe 5 or 10 years from now. What is most remarkable, I find, is how many siblings who have done the bullying/abuse, if approached in the right way (that's part of the therapy), are willing to participate. Abusive siblings aren't born mean. Something happened to them that allowed/brought out that meanness."

If you'd like to hear even more wise words from Dr. Lewis on this topic, you can find her book Siblings: The Ghosts From Childhood That Haunt Your Love and Work on her website right here!