Our siblings are our first friends on this planet, and if we’re lucky, they can be our closest and most long-lasting relationships too. But unfortunately, sometimes our friends betray us, and the sting of a knife in the back can hurt much more when it's coming from a brother or sister.
One curious Reddit user asked others, “What was the most [messed] up [thing] your sibling did that you can’t forgive them for?” And many readers have responded with unthinkable stories. Below, you'll find some of the most egregious familial offenses, as well as an interview with family and sibling therapist Dr. Karen Gail Lewis.
Don’t forget to upvote all of the betrayals that you wouldn’t wish upon your worst enemies (let alone your siblings!), and if you're reminded of you how lucky you are to have brothers and sisters who love you, now might be the perfect time to tell them how much they mean to you.
#1
My family was in Mexico for my step sisters wedding... It was the wedding night and we were all absolutely wasted from drinking free tequila.
After leaving the club on our resort, my step brother and I got into some sort of argument over a movie or something. (I am not sure what happened) but he has always had a temper issue.
I guess I told him I would punch him, so he came at me full speed and football tackled me but lifted me into the air over his shoulders and body slammed me onto my back.
I slammed the back of my head on the uneven rock tiled ground..
Next thing I knew I was at my hotel room about 10 minutes away and a bunch of people were in my room standing over me. My step brother was crying like crazy.
These idiots left me in my room and I slept for 12 hours. Woke up the next day with absolutely zero hearing. Panicked and ran into the shower thinking I had water in my ears. Thankfully it came back within 10 minutes...but then I noticed my temple on the left side of my head was swelling out like a basket ball..
Long story short I had an Acute Subdural Hematoma brain injury.
My brain was bleeding & swelling.
I finished the trip and flew home on a plane, all which should've killed me and didn't get to a hospital until we got home to Canada. Where I was immediately put into a controlled coma state.
This happened in 2011. I haven't worked a normal job since , I'm on disabilities. Worst of all it caused major issues years later which affected me emotionally and painfully with severe cluster migraines. It destroyed my relationship with the love of my life and mother of my child.
My whole life has been altered.
After leaving the club on our resort, my step brother and I got into some sort of argument over a movie or something. (I am not sure what happened) but he has always had a temper issue.
I guess I told him I would punch him, so he came at me full speed and football tackled me but lifted me into the air over his shoulders and body slammed me onto my back.
I slammed the back of my head on the uneven rock tiled ground..
Next thing I knew I was at my hotel room about 10 minutes away and a bunch of people were in my room standing over me. My step brother was crying like crazy.
These idiots left me in my room and I slept for 12 hours. Woke up the next day with absolutely zero hearing. Panicked and ran into the shower thinking I had water in my ears. Thankfully it came back within 10 minutes...but then I noticed my temple on the left side of my head was swelling out like a basket ball..
Long story short I had an Acute Subdural Hematoma brain injury.
My brain was bleeding & swelling.
I finished the trip and flew home on a plane, all which should've killed me and didn't get to a hospital until we got home to Canada. Where I was immediately put into a controlled coma state.
This happened in 2011. I haven't worked a normal job since , I'm on disabilities. Worst of all it caused major issues years later which affected me emotionally and painfully with severe cluster migraines. It destroyed my relationship with the love of my life and mother of my child.
My whole life has been altered.
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194points
To gain more insight on this topic, we reached out to family and sibling therapist Dr. Karen Gail Lewis, who was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda. We were curious how common conflicts between siblings are, and what tends to spark these issues. "Problems among siblings, for the most part, stem from situations that parents have not handled well. (Children do not come with instruction books!)," Dr. Lewis told Bored Panda. "But, if there is conflict between parents, the children often are brought in, or do it out of loyalty to one parent, to 'take sides'."
She also noted that some of the most common issues creating sibling conflicts are parental favoritism, children recreating their parents’ conflicts, parents recreating their own sibling issues with their children, parents being “switchboard operators” for the siblings, parents assigning crystallized behavioral roles to each child, dysfunctional parents causing siblings to direct their anger at each other, dysfunctional parents causing sibling to isolate themselves, a younger sibling feeling abandoned as an older sibling moves away, cultural preference in looks, abilities or personality, and mental illness or neurological conditions.
#2
My wife and I had been trying for years to have kids. Meanwhile, my Sister was Fertile Myrtle popping the first 2 out without even trying.
My wife and I conceived twins, and we were so excited. We told the family the names were were going to use, etc. We ended up losing them.
My sister doctor shopped around until she found someone that would diagnose her with Infertility and got prescribed drugs that would make it significantly more likely to have twins.
She used the names we had planned to use.
It took well over 10 years before we spoke again
162points
#3
My brother locked me out of the house when there was a tornado warning. There was blasting wind, rain, and hail, and the sirens were going. I had a full-blown panic attack.
He later laughed at me and mocked me.
Our parents came down on him like a ton of bricks and majorly punished him, but it didn't really work.
This was just one of the many horrible things he did to me. He hated me from the day I was born because he didn't want a sibling. Our parents would punish him but like I said, it only made him worse.
Thankfully, karma finally got him. He wrapped his car around a streetlight two weeks ago.
He can rot in the ground now for all I care.
I may make a post about this in AITA later on.
EDIT: Yes, he died.
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157points
"As a sibling therapist, I always start with the assumption that there is the possibility of helping siblings understand the origin of their conflicts (which, as I may have already said, is rarely what they think it is)," Dr. Lewis told Bored Panda. "I have helped siblings where one has physically/emotionally/sexually abused another. But, there is also the possibility that reconnecting/understanding is not possible."
"When I see that continued contact (if any) is harmful without any movement, despite the therapy, I recommend 'taking a break', which can be of any length," she explained. "If not this year, maybe 5 or 10 years from now. What is most remarkable, I find, is how many siblings who have done the bullying/abuse, if approached in the right way (that's part of the therapy), are willing to participate. Abusive siblings aren't born mean. Something happened to them that allowed/brought out that meanness."
If you'd like to hear even more wise words from Dr. Lewis on this topic, you can find her book Siblings: The Ghosts From Childhood That Haunt Your Love and Work on her website right here!
#4
As my grandmother lay unwell in her bed, from what would later turn out to be the first stages of kidney and liver failure...
He stole every single bit of cash in her handbag, over £900 we think.
She died in a delirium, screaming about how one of her grandchildren stole from her. My mother thought it was the toxins in her body.
When my parents found out they did nothing and let him keep the items he bought. This is the not the worst thing he has done in his lifetime.
I will never forget and I will never forgive.
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154points
#5
My sister phoned every new employer I had over the years and said bad stuff about me. She would invite me over to diner to find out who my boss was. Then weeks later she would invite me over and ask how it's going at work.
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132points
#6
Call me fat as an insult in our arguments for years. Said it so much I always believed I was fat... now that I am fat and look on all my pictures of my skinny years, I hate that mo fo. He ruined my confidence even though my body was perfect
125points
#7
I bought a motorcycle. Before I bought it I had a lengthy discussion with my wife of in case of accident what quality of life of be willing to live with. We talked and she knew my mind. I did have a catastrophic accident. I was in a coma for 42 days. I died 3 times. Talk came about what my quality of life would be afterwards and pulling the plug. My siblings wanted me to live at all cost no matter my wishes. They tried to take my wife's medical rights away. I have a good life, my wife made the right choices but asked me not to subject her to my family anymore. I went no contact.
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124points
#8
My older brother once stole a bunch of my stuff to sell to a pawnshop to pay for drugs. He apologized to our parents for breaking their trust. To this day, he still refuses to apologize to me, because in his messed up logic, it was only our parents trust that was violated. This was over 10 years ago.
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119points
#10
My brother planted drugs in my car - packaged for sale, 5 year mandatory prison sentence - and called the police saying there was a dog locked in a car in front of his house with no water or open windows. Luckily I pulled up at the same time as the cops & showed them my dog was fine, the sunroof was open & he had full bowls of food and water.
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116points
#11
Abandon his son with me for the last 6.5 years....
Nephew is amazing, brother is a piece of s**t.
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114points
#12
My brother started a fist fight with me in the kitchen, which led to him knocking me to the floor. He got on top and started choking me, all while our mother was on the phone with 9-1-1 hysterically screaming, "He's killing her, he's killing her! Oh God hurry he's killing her!"
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107points
#13
when I was around 12 and my brother was 9, my mom and dad left to go up north for a day (we are in the south) My mom knowing I was responsible, Let me watch my brother for the day until they came back late that night. Problem was we had a VERY toxic relationship in between the 2 of us. a couple of hours later after the parents left(my brother being the psychopath he is with anger issues) got very offended at a stupid sibling joke i said. Instead of normally lashing out he silently went to the kitchen. I casually went to the bathroom and after I was done I came out and my brother from behind me (the bathroom was in a hall so he was at the end and i was walking away from the end) Ran up behind me with a steak knife he heated up with the fireplace outside. my mf as* turned around and ran into my room and locked the door. He was shoving the knife under the door screaming "open up!" He gave up after a while but i still locked myself in the room until my parents came back..
they came back to my brother passed out on the couch with a steak knife in his hand and me starving in my room locked upstairs terrified.
in the end, none of them believed me to this day what happened and my brother still denies it.
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107points
#14
My dad had a lot of issues and he was super violent towards me when I was a kid. Like beat the s**t out of me over the smallest thing on a regular basis. He never did this to my older sister (we're both girls). When he died I was 21 and she was 26. My sister told me I deserved everything he did to me. It's been 12 years and I still haven't talked to her again. That was the most hurtful things anyone has ever said to me.
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104points
#15
My brother has tried to stab multiple people, including me, my friends, and our babysitter, and my mom has done barely anything about it, the most she's done is ground him instead of getting him checked for a mental illness, and we're not allowed to call the cops on him. He also tried to kill my cat. There's a ton more but, that's for another day
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101points
#16
Still working through this, but I cannot forgive my brother for the crime he is being charged of. I found out over social media, he never told me he was arrested and is currently in trial for these crimes. It is honestly the most f****d up s**t I ever heard of.
My brother is being charged with putting cameras in the bathroom of his place of employment.
I have been having a hard time dealing with this. I know what he did has nothing to do with me or anything I did or didn't do. But I can't help feeling ashamed and sorry for the pain he caused.
ETA: He has been found guilty of all charges.
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97points
#17
My younger brother, being the favourite child, would often tell my mum that I abused him when she was at work just to show me he had POWER over me. I would get hit for no reason on a daily basis.
I gave him a left hook once for a seperate argument. Best gift I ever gave anyone.
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95points
#18
My brother told me I would be allowed to see my niece, under his supervision, until she was old enough to "know what you are", at which point he would decide what, if any, involvement I would have in her life.
I'm gay and now have two nieces, the elder of which I haven't seen in nearly 5 years and the younger I've never met. Even overheard a conversation while on the phone with another family member during the holidays, that the elder niece doesn't even know she has an uncle.
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90points
#19
I was 18, she was 14. I was extremely ill- doped up on the daily and bedridden from what turned out to be a slowly dying organ and some undiagnosed digestive conditions. I was in a complete haze for over a year from pain and meds. I technically wasnt allowed to stand by myself or feed myself without help. I didn't get the assistance I needed at home, and hurt myself pretty often just trying to take care of myself, but thats a different story. Point is that I was incredibly weak, underweight, enotionally fragile, and drugged to the teeth.
My sister decided she was jealous of the little attention I was getting and decided to deprive me of sleep as much as she could. Punching me awake, threatening the few things I had that kept me feeling sane, pouring paint on and ripping my things, and then gaslighting me into believing it was all drug dreams and stuff I did myself while high. No one in my family believed me when I complained, and helped my sister gaslight me into believing even if she was hurting me, she was sleepwalking and it wasn't her fault. It only stopped after my then boyfriend heard her screaming at me from the couch downstairs where he was napping and threatened to move me out. I was moved into a different room and allowed a lock on my door as of the next day.
The whole family is dysfunctional. I don't talk to any of them anymore.
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83points
#20
My sibling checked out of any care or responsibility for our elderly parents, left me to handle it all. Doesn't even visit them, hardly ever calls. Only lives 15 minutes away.
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81points