#1
At the end, I conclude after the blessing with a line like "The service is over, the Marriage has begun" but because of the emotion of the moment and a certain degree of relief that I'd got to the end of a really nice service, I said instead "The marriage is ended..." and everyone just looks at me.
I had to correct myself and have another run at it, but Son and DiL mention it often to take the mickey out of me. Even their Wedding Photo book has the legend at the end "The marriage has ended".
What's a wedding without some drama? From flowers wilting to people being arrested, nothing is off-limits. But as a guest, you can do your part to minimize the amount of chaos that happens at someone else's nuptials. Besides the obvious things, like not getting drunk and falling all over, there are a few other important etiquette rules guests should follow.
Th first might come as a surprise to some, but wedding planning experts say it's actually rude to arrive too early. By too early, we mean earlier than 30 minutes before the ceremony. That's because everything might not yet be in place, and interrupting the final touches can cause uneccessary stress.
"It's better to wait in your car than go into the venue and risk stressing out the bride by seeing her before the ceremony," says Holly Patton Olsen, the founder of Perfectly Posh Events.
#2
It was awful. She was just sobbing "Mike's not here! He didn't come! I did all this for him!" Fortunately the groom was partying with the guests, so a small circle of friends enclosed the bride and said "oh, she's just tired" a lot.
The marriage limped on for four years, including having a baby. When they split up, Mike left his wife to shack up with bride. That lasted about three weeks, and Mike begged his wife's forgiveness and went home.
(Mike was her boss at work throughout all this, which made matters even more awkward.).
#3
He said things like “today you’re declaring you’re kind of in love and want to get married for some reason”. The whole congregation was trying soooo hard not to laugh, it was very noticeable.
Then, at the reception, my sister’s best friend played a piano version of Nothing Else Matters, only it was so slow and sad and emotional it actually became funny - especially since my sister and new husband tried so very hard to make an appropriately serene face.
I was three champagnes in and laughing in front of every one. I had to lean against my mum’s shoulder and pretend I was crying.
The same applies to arriving too late. According to Brand Hamerstone, the owner of All Events Planned, the general rule of thumb is that 10 minutes before the ceremony is due to begin. "Walking in as the bride (or groom) is walking down the aisle in incredibly rude and ruins video and photos that are being taken," explains Hamerstone.
If you do happen to arrive a bit late, you should try to be an invisible as possible and not make a scene. Slip in quietly from the back and remain standing near the entrance until there is a natural pause. Or, if you can, take an empty seat in the very back row.
#4
The photographer had already been paid, so he said he'd shoot my folks' wedding for free.
#5
#6
Aparently had no underwear on.
We've seen our fair share of stories about guests wearing white to a wedding, or even worse, wearing their old wedding gown. That's an obvious no-no. But so is dressing like the bridesmaids. Obviously, you might not know that the bridal party will be wearing. So if you rock up in a similar outfit, then you can't really be blamed.
However, if you are privy to the bridesmaids' color palette, you should steer clear of it. Basically, avoid looking like you're a member of the wedding party. And no, wearing the same dress as the bridesmaids but in a different color is also not okay.
#7
#8
#9
No matter how eager you are to be the next in line to get married, control yourself during the bridal bouquet toss. Remember, you're a polite guest, not a star athlete.
"You don't want to appear overly eager, nor do you want to come across as if you are catching a pass on the football field," warns etiquette expert Diane Gottsman, the founder of The Protocol School of Texas. "Allow the bouquet to land naturally in the direction which it is tossed, without any pushing or shoving — for the sake of appearance and civility."
#10
#11
Family pile in and pull them apart - of course neither could leave it alone. The vows actually take place, but directly after the groom takes best man outside, lays him out in the car park and then drives over him With his car (whilst he’s unconscious). Also tries to reverse over him.
Emergency services called - best man in a bad way. Groom arrested and the rest of the family start fighting the police, whilst ambulance are trying to save best man. Ends in Multiple arrests.
Surprisingly the Best man lived!
#12
The father of the bride had kept their suitcases, airline tickets and passports in his car as he was going to drive them to the airport afterwards.
Only he parked it in a dodgy area near the church, the car got broken into and their suitcases, airline tickets and passports were all stolen.
They couldn't tell the happy couple end of the night as they didn't want to ruin the rest of their big day.
If things go wrong at a wedding, which they often inevitably do, it's not your job to go running to the bride or groom. They have enough on their plate as it is. If something's really bothering you, or is a major issue, rather inform the wedding planner or venue staff.
"If something's gone wrong during the wedding, do not point it out to the couple or their immediate family members. You don't want to add any stress or frustration during the big day," says Josh Spiegel, Creative Director and President of Birch Event Design.
#13
Apparently they'd been arguing constantly before. Needless to say the wedding didn't proceed.
#14
This one particular time, it was brilliant sunshine one minute, and then the clouds came and it started pissing it down out of nowhere. The bride that had been waiting the the boat to leave lost her mind. Had a literal foot stomping tantrum and was shouting and screaming at everyone. She then stormed off crying. Left her own reception, and didn't come back. The groom followed soon after.
Nobody really knew what to do. There was a sit down meal that was minutes from being served, the cake hadn't been cut, there was an evening band, a buffet, and a very expensive free bar. After a couple of hours, guests started filtering out. By the time the band was playing, there was maybe a dozen people left who obviously didn't want to let the free bar go to waste. The buffet was barely touched.
Me and the other chefs ended up sitting at the bar drinking with the father of the bride, who had spent a fortune on this, and just seemed completely defeated by the whole thing. He gave the impression that it wasn't the first time she'd done something like this...
#15
If a big drama, crisis, or family emergency happens at a wedding, it's really none of your business. Stay in your lane, resist the urge to pry, gossip, or approach the bride and groom for updates. And it goes without saying that you should not take your phone out to record or photograph whatever disaster is going down so that you can share it or post it online. Be the better person and maintain the couple's privacy.
#16
Since then I've been a best man twice myself. In each case I've told the bride and groom this story and said that I'll only do a speech if they promise we'll be using cordless mics.
#17
The actual marriage ceremony was held the following day.
#18
Everyone had a copy of some pictures of the bride having an affair. The groom and the groomsmen swaggered out of the church!
#19
Groom and Bestman start fighting, then very quickly the whole lot went up and everyone was fighting.
#20
