Ah, family. Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em! I look forward to seeing my relatives all year long, but when I finally do, I am reminded to be careful to avoid certain hot topics and be on my best behavior. We have a wonderful time catching up, playing games and sharing funny stories. But one controversial comment can make the rest of the day extremely uncomfortable.
Regardless of how deeply you love your relatives, there’s a good chance you’ve seen a family function quickly go south. Redditors have recently been sharing stories of the most inappropriate and uncomfortable moments that they’ve witnessed at family gatherings, so we’ve gathered the most painful stories below. We sincerely hope that these tales don’t remind you of your own relatives, but if they do, you can rest assured knowing that you’re not alone. And keep reading to find a conversation with Modern Therapy's clinician, Adnan Kastrat, LAC!
#1
My dad brought threw an impromptu birthday party for himself while my mom was overseas (his birthday not until the following month) so he could introduce his affair partner to his family behind my mom's back. The thing about the AP was she had "disappeared" in order to avoid a subpoena. My dad had told investigators when they were looking for her that he had no idea where she was and then brought her to this function two days later.
My dad thought his family would welcome the AP which would force my mom to accept her as a part of our family. Apparently he wanted a whole sister wife scenario.
For some reason, he didn't think my uncle - a working police detective - would rat him and his affair partner out to law enforcement lol.
The spaghetti was good, though. .
My dad thought his family would welcome the AP which would force my mom to accept her as a part of our family. Apparently he wanted a whole sister wife scenario.
For some reason, he didn't think my uncle - a working police detective - would rat him and his affair partner out to law enforcement lol.
The spaghetti was good, though. .
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227points
#2
My sister mixed alcohol and "prescription" medication as the matron of honor at a cousin's wedding. She got black out drunk, gave lap dances during the reception, instigated a fight with her husband in the parking lot almost costing him his high security government job because He was arrested, not her, even though she was drunk as hell. The final act was passing out on my Aunt's white couch and pissing herself while wearing a maroon dress thus staining said white couch pink.
She didn't quit drinking after this.
I have been no contact for 19 years for this among many other egregious behaviors over the course of 3 decades.
Oh and if my sister recognizes this story or someone in my extended family, Hello. Also try to deny this happened. I believe it was all recorded in full color on a camcorder.
She didn't quit drinking after this.
I have been no contact for 19 years for this among many other egregious behaviors over the course of 3 decades.
Oh and if my sister recognizes this story or someone in my extended family, Hello. Also try to deny this happened. I believe it was all recorded in full color on a camcorder.
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200points
#3
My Grandma faked a heart attack at my 7th birthday party. She claimed she had like a year or less to live and had been faking that she had cancer.
Parents take her to the hospital, all the tests they do for a heart attack come back fine. My Mom orders some other tests as well to see what’s really up.
Turned out she was completely fine and wasn’t going to die, she just made it up to try and get money from my parents. Haven’t seen her since then either.
Parents take her to the hospital, all the tests they do for a heart attack come back fine. My Mom orders some other tests as well to see what’s really up.
Turned out she was completely fine and wasn’t going to die, she just made it up to try and get money from my parents. Haven’t seen her since then either.
168points
To learn more about family functions and why they're so often filled with drama, we reached out to Modern Therapy's clinician, Adnan Kastrat, LAC. Adnan was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and first address what the importance of family gatherings are.
"Family functions can have a tremendous positive impact on our well-being and can naturally help strengthen bonds between family members when events go well, particularly when family is meaningful for someone," he shared. "Every family has their own culture, set of values, traditions and overall heritage. These factors can be very beneficial in helping establish a sense of identity and belonging."
#4
This didn't happen to me, but I watched it happen and it was awful. My cousin was pregnant from a guy who she had only been dating for a few months, but he was a good guy. On Christmas Eve she invited him to our family gathering and when we were exchanging presents he grabbed a small box from the tree and was 2 seconds from getting down on one knee when *that uncle* jokingly says, "god I hope you're not proposing!" Everyone laughs and this poor guy is in a half bent knee/half standing pose and just looks up at *that uncle* and slowly powers through it and slowly gets down on one knee and proceeds to ask her if she'll marry him. She said yes and they're engaged but it was one of the worst 45 seconds of my life.
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147points
#5
I have always had trouble getting along with my uncle and my autistic cousin (his nephew). At my grandpa's funeral, being a Jewish funeral, the closest male relatives are asked to come forward to dig up some dirt and place it on top of the coffin. Then they ask anyone else if they'd like to do the same. I just happened to be in front of my uncle at that time, and he barked under his breath for me to "MOVE!" I replied, "MOVE PLEASE!" while he grunted and rolled his eyes at me while forcibly pushing me out the way.
Back at my Nanna's for lunch afterwards, I just happened to be in front of him again in the narrow hallway leading to the kitchen and he decided I wasn't moving fast enough for his liking and starting barking at me again to, "MOVE....MOOOVE!" but much louder this time. I turned around at yelled at him that he's been giving me mixed messages about whether he cared about me my whole life, and to pick a f*****g lane! Naturally, my extended family members who I don't get to see that often all heard it. His girlfriend was on my side at least.
My Mum also argued with my cousin until they were both blue in the face over certain religious requirements of the Chevra Kadisha as they're an Orthodox organisation (that deal with the deceased and funerals) and my cousin is Reform. She ended up screaming at him, and my extended family members heard that, too.
A few months later, there was an event at his girlfriend's shop, and we argued again, and he told me I was lucky not to be thrown on top of the coffin!
More months later, at Seder (first night Passover), that same Uncle's poured the leftover oil from the pulled lamb he made down my Nanny's sink in her brand new apartment and blocked it! Then he accidentally swung round a wine bottle and broke a glass full of red wine all over the tablecloth. He also argued with my mother and Nanna. I was just glad not to be his target this time. Needless to say, my Nanna has now retired from hosting Seders!
How anyone can read this and think Jews could possibly agree with each other long enough to execute giant, worldwide conspiracy theories is bloody laughable really! Just attend one shabbat dinner and get back to me! As we say, if 2 Jews are sitting around the table, they'll be 3 opinions!
Back at my Nanna's for lunch afterwards, I just happened to be in front of him again in the narrow hallway leading to the kitchen and he decided I wasn't moving fast enough for his liking and starting barking at me again to, "MOVE....MOOOVE!" but much louder this time. I turned around at yelled at him that he's been giving me mixed messages about whether he cared about me my whole life, and to pick a f*****g lane! Naturally, my extended family members who I don't get to see that often all heard it. His girlfriend was on my side at least.
My Mum also argued with my cousin until they were both blue in the face over certain religious requirements of the Chevra Kadisha as they're an Orthodox organisation (that deal with the deceased and funerals) and my cousin is Reform. She ended up screaming at him, and my extended family members heard that, too.
A few months later, there was an event at his girlfriend's shop, and we argued again, and he told me I was lucky not to be thrown on top of the coffin!
More months later, at Seder (first night Passover), that same Uncle's poured the leftover oil from the pulled lamb he made down my Nanny's sink in her brand new apartment and blocked it! Then he accidentally swung round a wine bottle and broke a glass full of red wine all over the tablecloth. He also argued with my mother and Nanna. I was just glad not to be his target this time. Needless to say, my Nanna has now retired from hosting Seders!
How anyone can read this and think Jews could possibly agree with each other long enough to execute giant, worldwide conspiracy theories is bloody laughable really! Just attend one shabbat dinner and get back to me! As we say, if 2 Jews are sitting around the table, they'll be 3 opinions!
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139points
#6
My BIL went around telling everyone my sisters make up and dress made her look like a Las Vegas W**re… at our other sisters wedding. This was before she had to go and stand up in front of a 100 people… she had normal make up and a normal bridesmaid dress. So, not only was her husband embarrassing her to everyone (including strangers) she was genuinely embarrassed to stand up there because she thought she looked so awful. Didn’t matter what we told her, either.
F’in Douche.
F’in Douche.
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136points
"Family will typically be an easily accessible support system that may offer advice with personal issues or even just be a comfortable safe environment to fall back on during difficult times," Adnan continued. "Family functions are an excellent way of strengthening this relationship and helping one feel that they are not alone in facing the challenges of life."
#7
My alcoholic uncle got so drunk at his own daughter's wedding that he [peed] on the wedding cake in front of half the wedding party.
"He quit drinking after that.
"He quit drinking after that.
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136points
#8
My grandmother tried to shoot herself in the front yard because my mother wouldn't let me and my siblings (6, 4 and 2) ride sitting on the back hood of my uncle's classic convertible during their neighborhood Fourth of July parade. She was angry that no one would be able to see our outfits if we were seated inside the car and while trying to shoot herself accidentally grazed my grandpa in the process. Good times.
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133points
#9
Boy, do I have a good one.
So, waaay back in the day, my aunt went to university with a nice boy who was studying medicine, while she was studying accounting.
20 years later, and he became our family doctor. He's the GP for me, my brother, my parents, my aunt, my cousins...and we're close friends with his family, his son, his wider relations, and their friends. One big happy family-and-friends group.
So, a few years ago, before COVID (I think 2016, 2017?) our doc invites us out to his 60th birthday. All his family was there - cousins, cousins-in-law, nephews, nieces, family friends (including all of us) etc etc. He'd booked out an entire Italian restaurant to celebrate his birthday.
We're sitting down, we're talking, we're eating. The restaurant is divided into two halves - the "adults area" with all our parents, and the "kids area" with me, my doctor's son, his cousins, and all our mutual friends. Everything is totally fine and normal...
...and then my friend's aunt, my doctor's cousin-in-law, comes running over to tell my friend's cousin that something's happened, and come at once.
My friend's cousin's father has passed out. Fainted dead away, slumped in his seat and fell off the chair onto the floor, like something out of a slapstick comedy film.
So the birthday boy - our doctor - hurries over to help his cousin, who's now out-cold on the floor.
He calls his son over - my friend - who is also a doctor - to help him.
He tells our friend - another doctor - to call an ambulance.
While our friend's calling an ambulance, his mother - ANOTHER DOCTOR - comes over to check the man's vitals while he's out on the floor.
My friend's cousin calls over her boyfriend, who's a pharmacist.
So we have four doctors and one pharmacist all administering CPR and whatnot, to this guy who's out cold on the floor, in the middle of a restaurant packed with friends and family.
The ambulance arrives, and they manage to stabilise him and revive him and get him into a wheelchair. I asked my friend's cousin's mother what happened, and she goes:
"Oh, he's an idiot! He took his medicine, and then chased it down with a glass of red! Idiot man!! I mean, you'd think he'd know better!!"
Yeah, you'd think so, wouldn't you? After all...
...the patient...wait for it...IS ALSO A F*****G DOCTOR!!
Yes, he got to hospital and recovered. He's fine now.
So, waaay back in the day, my aunt went to university with a nice boy who was studying medicine, while she was studying accounting.
20 years later, and he became our family doctor. He's the GP for me, my brother, my parents, my aunt, my cousins...and we're close friends with his family, his son, his wider relations, and their friends. One big happy family-and-friends group.
So, a few years ago, before COVID (I think 2016, 2017?) our doc invites us out to his 60th birthday. All his family was there - cousins, cousins-in-law, nephews, nieces, family friends (including all of us) etc etc. He'd booked out an entire Italian restaurant to celebrate his birthday.
We're sitting down, we're talking, we're eating. The restaurant is divided into two halves - the "adults area" with all our parents, and the "kids area" with me, my doctor's son, his cousins, and all our mutual friends. Everything is totally fine and normal...
...and then my friend's aunt, my doctor's cousin-in-law, comes running over to tell my friend's cousin that something's happened, and come at once.
My friend's cousin's father has passed out. Fainted dead away, slumped in his seat and fell off the chair onto the floor, like something out of a slapstick comedy film.
So the birthday boy - our doctor - hurries over to help his cousin, who's now out-cold on the floor.
He calls his son over - my friend - who is also a doctor - to help him.
He tells our friend - another doctor - to call an ambulance.
While our friend's calling an ambulance, his mother - ANOTHER DOCTOR - comes over to check the man's vitals while he's out on the floor.
My friend's cousin calls over her boyfriend, who's a pharmacist.
So we have four doctors and one pharmacist all administering CPR and whatnot, to this guy who's out cold on the floor, in the middle of a restaurant packed with friends and family.
The ambulance arrives, and they manage to stabilise him and revive him and get him into a wheelchair. I asked my friend's cousin's mother what happened, and she goes:
"Oh, he's an idiot! He took his medicine, and then chased it down with a glass of red! Idiot man!! I mean, you'd think he'd know better!!"
Yeah, you'd think so, wouldn't you? After all...
...the patient...wait for it...IS ALSO A F*****G DOCTOR!!
Yes, he got to hospital and recovered. He's fine now.
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133points
But unfortunately, family events don't always go according to plan. "The nature of a family function is typically meant to bring those we love closer together and create important memories with one another," Adnan noted. "This natural expectation can often create unnecessary pressure to behave or present ourselves a certain way without taking into account if anyone is having personal issues or even unresolved issues with certain family members."
#10
I remember when my brothers and cousins spent two summers building a viking ship and they took it out on a fjord when we had a family reunion function. Only my brothers and cousins went out on it and after being chased by the coast guard the ship eventually began leaking and it sank leaving them to be rescued by the coast guard. Luckily they only got slapped with a warning do not build another ship again.
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129points
#11
Let me preface by saying, all these events happened at *the same Christmas party*.
Family friend in the military is relaxing by the fire drinking a beer, we’ll call him Shane. Family friend #2, we’ll call him Angus, came and sat by the fire to smoke some pot. Angus offers some of his pot to Shane, which Shane declines as he’s still active duty and gets randomly tested. Angus starts berating Shane and insists he must be a cop to act like that, and decided the best course of action would be to pick a fight with a f*****g 3 deployment combat vet. It ended about like you’d expect, with Angus flat on his a*s. Angus jumps up and screams he’s gonna come back and kill everyone and runs towards his car and leaves.
About 15 minutes after Angus left, my Aunt and Uncle started drunk arguing in the shop where the party was mainly taking place, and started throwing chairs and beer bottles at each other. I wasn’t around to see the resolution of that, but IIRC I was told someone told them to calm down or they’d call the cops and they both calmed down and left shortly after.
Then within about 10 minutes of that calming down, my dad’s cousin got drunk and started trying to beat the s**t out of her husband, and my dad had to tackle her and hold her down to wait for the cops. They came and tried to not take her to jail but she wouldn’t quit acting up so they ran her name and she had a bounced check, so off to jail she went.
THEN, maybe a half hour later, here comes Angus’s car slowlyyy down the driveway. All the adults immediately shoved the kids inside and my dad and uncles met him at the driveway with guns and sure enough, he had come back with a gun to kill Shane. They all talked him down and thankfully he ended up giving them the gun and went home, and I don’t think I ever saw him again. From what I remember of him he was a nice normal guy but he got like that when he drank. But either way that was the last time we had a Christmas party that was that big, we had to start cutting a lot of crazy family out of the invite list for the Christmas party from then on.
As a kid it never sank in how bad that night could’ve been, but as an adult I can’t believe no one called the cops on him when he *told them* that he was coming back with a gun. My best guess is everyone figured he would go home and pass out drunk, but still, if someone says they’re bringing a gun back to the house my kids are at to kill someone, I’m calling the cops and if I can get to my gun in time, they’re not leaving until the cops get there to deal with them.
Family friend in the military is relaxing by the fire drinking a beer, we’ll call him Shane. Family friend #2, we’ll call him Angus, came and sat by the fire to smoke some pot. Angus offers some of his pot to Shane, which Shane declines as he’s still active duty and gets randomly tested. Angus starts berating Shane and insists he must be a cop to act like that, and decided the best course of action would be to pick a fight with a f*****g 3 deployment combat vet. It ended about like you’d expect, with Angus flat on his a*s. Angus jumps up and screams he’s gonna come back and kill everyone and runs towards his car and leaves.
About 15 minutes after Angus left, my Aunt and Uncle started drunk arguing in the shop where the party was mainly taking place, and started throwing chairs and beer bottles at each other. I wasn’t around to see the resolution of that, but IIRC I was told someone told them to calm down or they’d call the cops and they both calmed down and left shortly after.
Then within about 10 minutes of that calming down, my dad’s cousin got drunk and started trying to beat the s**t out of her husband, and my dad had to tackle her and hold her down to wait for the cops. They came and tried to not take her to jail but she wouldn’t quit acting up so they ran her name and she had a bounced check, so off to jail she went.
THEN, maybe a half hour later, here comes Angus’s car slowlyyy down the driveway. All the adults immediately shoved the kids inside and my dad and uncles met him at the driveway with guns and sure enough, he had come back with a gun to kill Shane. They all talked him down and thankfully he ended up giving them the gun and went home, and I don’t think I ever saw him again. From what I remember of him he was a nice normal guy but he got like that when he drank. But either way that was the last time we had a Christmas party that was that big, we had to start cutting a lot of crazy family out of the invite list for the Christmas party from then on.
As a kid it never sank in how bad that night could’ve been, but as an adult I can’t believe no one called the cops on him when he *told them* that he was coming back with a gun. My best guess is everyone figured he would go home and pass out drunk, but still, if someone says they’re bringing a gun back to the house my kids are at to kill someone, I’m calling the cops and if I can get to my gun in time, they’re not leaving until the cops get there to deal with them.
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119points
#12
Grandma's funeral: my uncle, my grandma's disowned son, came to her viewing in jeans, polo shirt, and his weird wife & and her "service" dog. My grandpa was so mad that he kicked my uncle out. My uncle then went to my grandparents' house and cleaned it out. It took a couple weeks to figure that out because my grandpa was in a nursing home at that point. My deadbeat uncle, who walked our on his five kids to marry a psychopath, literally stole from my grandpa during my grandma's funeral.
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104points
"In addition to these potential triggers, we often want our family to enter with the mentality of 'my house is your house' to promote safety and comfort. However, a lack of boundaries can often create a possibility for unnecessary tension and unintentional behaviors," the counselor continued.
"Finally, within any family, there is sure to be a range of ages and different viewpoints that come from generational differences which often leads to misunderstandings. The same way family can bring out our worst behaviors, we must remember that they too can bring out our best behaviors," Adnan says.
#13
Was at my now wife’s father’s wedding reception. They eloped and had a fancy dinner with the family. My wife’s uncle tried to toast the couple several times but no one heard him. My father in law quiets his family and says, “Uncle John is trying to say something.”
Uncle John says “to father in law and *his ex wife’s name*. Many happy returns.”
This poor man had nailed it the few times he tried before and boofed it when it counted.
Uncle John says “to father in law and *his ex wife’s name*. Many happy returns.”
This poor man had nailed it the few times he tried before and boofed it when it counted.
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101points
#14
Thanksgiving dinner going around the table sharing what we are thankful for. My brother gives thanks for his wife not kicking him out when she recently found out he had been having an affair. It was humiliating for her and embarrassing for the rest of us. For God’s sake, there were children at the table. We never went around for thanks at the dinner table again. The children are all adults now, and yes they do remember vividly. What the hell was he thinking?
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101points
#15
Not my story but my cousins- her aunt was always a little off. You know the type. The family was pretty low contact with her because of this but not no contact. The aunt has a daughter (let’s say “Tara”) that the entire family loves and looks out for. She’s not “off” like her mom but being raised by such a person she turns out very free spirited. When she reaches adulthood she is off to explore the world. At some point the aunt informs the family Tara has been in a terrible accident overseas, and a few days later confirms Tara has passed. The family mourns but is told by Tara’s mom that she had her cremated and the ashes buried wherever she was and doesn’t want to do any funeral. A few months go by and Tara’s grandfather dies. Of course there will be a big family funeral for him. Tara’s mom begins calling her family members to tell them that Tara had a very close friend that would like to attend the funeral. The thing is, she says, Tara’s friend looks A LOT like Tara but would be very upset if you brought it up to her or talked to her at all. Believe it or not but wild stories were such a part of their relationship to this woman that I don’t think any one really thought about it. That is until (you guessed it) Tara, thought to be deceased by her entire extended family, walked into her actually deceased grandfather’s funeral.
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100points
We also asked Adnan if he had any advice for avoiding drama when gathering with family. "As previously mentioned, there is an innate expectation that a family function is meant to be 'perfect' and filled with nothing but positivity. It is important to establish realistic expectations by first accepting that just like any other event there is always a possibility for something to go wrong," he shared. "Whether you are seeing a family member that you have a bad history with or expect that the 'black sheep of the family' will behave inappropriately, it is important to have realistic expectations."
#16
Went to my friends family reunion and got to see a dating couple find out they were related.
92points
#17
My stepdad threw a liquor bottle at my auntie during my mom's funeral. I wasn't in the room because i was comforting my sobbing cousin. my mom's sister (my aunt) also slapped me that night because we'd had my mom cremated according to her wishes, and my aunt didn't agree with that. tough titty, 'twas already done n dusted, no pun intended. but yeah, that was a fun night.
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87points
#18
I was invited to a neighbors birthday party, with the extended family there. I was tired, I stayed in the house. A father and 19 yr old son were sitting at the kitchen table with others, drinking alcohol. As a joke, the son pointed a handgun at his father, and pulled the trigger. The gun was loaded, the father died, shot on the face.
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83points
Adnan also says it might be wise to establish a game plan with prepared responses if you are anticipating difficult conversations on specific topics, "such as the infamous topics of marriage and children."
"There should also be a planned out exit strategy should things become too intense whether you just need to step away for the moment or need a pre-planned excuse to leave early," the counselor added. "Always remember the family members who you identify as supportive or who do typically provide positive experiences as they can be your allies in navigating through difficult moments through their support."
#19
Kid drowned at my mother’s birthday party. EMTs shocked him back to life. The whole thing lasted maybe 10 min. It was surreal. .
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79points
#20
When I was a kid, my great-grandmother was quite the hoarder. Poor, deaf, only about five feet tall and frail. Never had less than half a dozen cats, no litter box, just the entire back end of the house covered in newspaper. Just trash and filth everywhere. She had a chihuahua she'd trained to act "cripple", and another dog she'd affectionately named the N word.
We visited about once a week for dinner. On one visit, she tells asks my dad to check on "the" cat. It hadn't left its spot on the floor all day. Dad checks on the cat, and reports: "No wonder if hasn't moved. It's dead."
Dinner's ready! Who's hungry?
We visited about once a week for dinner. On one visit, she tells asks my dad to check on "the" cat. It hadn't left its spot on the floor all day. Dad checks on the cat, and reports: "No wonder if hasn't moved. It's dead."
Dinner's ready! Who's hungry?
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78points