#1
Because you can't be blamed for anything you do whilst sleeping, I just stayed as still as possible.
When we emerged from the bedroom in the morning , running into his dad, he said 'Son, you woke me up with that one last night!' Chuckling away.
'Yeah sorry, dad, must have been all the beer,' replied my date, winking at me.
We've been together for three and a half years now and are due to be married in 2017.
If you have sleepless nights stressing about what to say on a first date, you might want to reconsider your priorities. Research shows that people are likely to size you up before you even open your mouth. In other words, you've already made your first impression within the first 4-7 seconds of meeting someone.
"It only takes seven seconds for someone to look at you and form assumptions about your age, education, economic level, profession, heritage, and more," notes the Toastmasters site.
Yes, us shallow human beings make judgements about each other based on looks, and sounds, way before we hear what the other person has to say. And get this: we've already decided whether a person is attractive and trustworthy within a tenth of a second. That's according to research conducted by Princeton University. Blink and you'll miss it!
#2
#3
I ate them with a few friends that tagged along for dinner. We went to the movies after dinner, just us two. Well, at the beginning of the movie Jennifer Love Hewitt wakes up from a nightmare screaming, I proceeded to scream and run out of the theater.
The rest of the night for me finished in this order: called dad from the payphone and told him I was tripping balls (60s dad, he understood). Stayed in fetal position out front of the theater. Girls dad picks her up with her crying, he kicks me angrily asking what my problem was. Dad picks me up. Dad drives me home while on the way looking at me and moving his mouth without saying anything just to mess with me. Dad tells me to go to my room and don't talk to my mom. I have a conversation with my cat and black out.
“The link between facial features and character may be tenuous at best, but that doesn’t stop our minds from sizing other people up at a glance,” explains Princeton University psychologist Alex Todorov. “We decide very quickly whether a person possesses many of the traits we feel are important, such as likeability and competence, even though we have not exchanged a single word with them. It appears that we are hard-wired to draw these inferences in a fast, unreflective way.”
The expert adds that people respond intuitively to faces so rapidly that our reasoning minds don't necessarily have time to influence the reaction. But before you give up altogether, there are some "first impression factors" that you can control...
#4
She wanted to stop by a local tavern that was hosting a charity benefit. We did.......worst decision ever. Walk in the front door and immediately I am face to face with the guy who [slept with] my wife.
He and I grew up as friends but lost touch until he came to mom's funeral. He attempted to say something to me and I immediately cut him off and threatened him rather harshly. He left.
Spent the next 30 minutes explaining what just happened to her. She said I should have punched him....
#5
Took her on a ride to a park about ~20 minutes away (and pretty much in the middle of nowhere). We got off the bike, sat at a picnic table and just talked for about an hour. We get up to leave, and I realize I left the lights on... the whole time. I'm like "This battery is going to be toast...". It was.
I spent the next 20 minutes trying to bump-start my bike, awkwardly saying "I swear I'm not a criminal". How I ended up with her is beyond me.
#6
The girl and I dated for a year and we're actually still pretty good friends. So I guess it worked out okay in the end.
Darren Menabney is a Fast Company & Forbes contributor, and TEDx speaker. He says there are three things that are vital in making a good first impression: your posture, your dress and your facial expression.
The expert says you should be aware of how you stand, how you’re walking, what your arms are doing. "Be aware of yourself and what your body is doing at all times," he writes.
According to Menabney, you want to avoid stooped shoulders, walking quickly with your head down, and keeping your arms crossed or held in front of you. Doing so can make you look like you lack confidence.
"Shoulders straight, walking at a steady pace with your head up, arms at your side? Great! We’ve all subconsciously sized you up as looking confident, relaxed, and implicitly trustworthy," he adds.
#7
One day I had a customer, a lovely lady in her 50s who I spent a lot of time with in the store. As we were finalizing her invoice, she went on and on about her son who had just moved into town (from near where grew I up) and how I really needed to meet him. She explained how attractive he was (she also told me about his schooling and job, but really pushed his physical attractiveness) and after much badgering I agreed to meet him on a very blind date.
We talked on the phone (probably on land lines, this was pre-cell-phone era!) and met at the pub. He was one of the most physically unattractive men I've ever met. What she described and what I met were not in the same universe let alone ballpark, at least to me. So I talked with him for a bit but unfortunately talking to him was like wrestling wet cardboard. I'm a sucker for a sarcastic, witty guy and no matter how he looked, if he had been a bit cocky and had a sharp sense of humor he could have won me over. But no. So I tried for a few hours to make some conversation and realized it wasn't happening and so I found an exit point and used it.
I didn't just bolt on him, I did give an excuse to leave, but at that point I learned that MOTHERS WILLL ALWAYS THINK THEIR SONS ARE GODS no matter what the kid looks or acts like. That was the first and last time I was ever "set up" by a relative stranger.
#8
#9
Whether you like it or not, your date may judge you based on how you're dressed. Clean and presentable = professional and confident, says the TEDx speaker.
Obviously, you'll want to wear clothes that are appropriate to the setting. So if you're going to the beach, a business suit probably isn't the right fit. Menabney advises that you always look in the mirror before leaving home. And we'd add: again for good measure, before meeting your date for the first time.
"Is your hair messy, or worse, dandruffy? Too much makeup? Unshaven, and not in a stylish manner? Your tie is loose, jacket is unbuttoned, shoelaces untied," writes Menabney, adding that while these may seem like minor things, they can make you look sloppy. "Again, we’ve subconsciously tagged you, and not in a positive way."
#10
#11
So after the date we start making out, she took off my pants but then I turned on the tv.
And that's about the time she walked away from me.
#12
Initially everything seemed okay. But then I had to go to the washroom, which wasn't terrible. But then I had to go to the washroom again, and again, and again. Half of our dinner date was him sitting alone while I exorcised this pepper from my bowels. Remarkably, he didn't seem too irked about it.
We were downtown and, both being kids from the suburbs, decided to go window shopping at the local stores. We got separated briefly while inside a clothing store, which I was alright with because there wasn't much chemistry between us.
Suddenly, I had to poo. I had to poo immediately. I ran to the nearest store attendant, begging him to let me use their washroom. No success. I dashed to the next store, and still found no toilet. Nothing. It was a desert and I was about to rupture. Then finally a store let me in! Success! I darted down their stairs to the sweet relief of porcelain but, just as I reached it, my bowels, as if it in fit of cruelty, loosened and my underwear became filled with warm mush. Oh god. Oh god oh god oh god oh god.
I sat there contemplating what to do. "Do I message this guy? What do I say? How do I deal with the fact that my pants are filled with poo? Why did this happen? Which god did I offend?" I opened my phone. No reception. "Okay, well, at least that's dealt with." I cleaned myself up, slowly and meticulously. I used all of the toilet paper available in the washroom and then improvised. I went Turkish. An hour passed and I left.
He had disappeared, shockingly. I took public transit home, and spent an hour on the subways and buses convinced that everyone knew. I felt marked. My friend texted me and asked why I had ditched him, and then I remembered that I was supposed to have met him directly after the date.
I told everyone I had gotten violently ill. I guess, in a way, I had.
And that's the story of my first date ever, when I was fifteen years old. Oh David, you turned out so weird later on. I guess it was for the best.
If you're unsure of what to wear, image consultant and fashion expert, Jill Swanson says that everyone has a signature color. “Color is huge,” she says. “Find out what your signature colors are—hair color, eye color, lip color. Look in the mirror and find something similar to your eye color for starters."
Swanson adds that when we look at someone, or meet them for the first time, our eyes automatically search their face for a particular color and zone in on it.
“If you’re wearing a red shirt, right away someone will notice your red lipstick,” she explains. “If you have brown eyes and wear a brown shirt, that helps hold the person’s gaze a little longer.”
#13
#14
Edit: I was 20 at the time, she was 16. In Missouri, age of consent is 17, which is where I was at at the time. Honestly, the kiss on the shoulder was because the date was already awkward, and sometimes when I fall into a blackhole of awkwardness, I just spiral into it.
#15
Eventually got annoyed of hearing it from everyone else. I confronted him with a blunt, "Dude, do you like me or not?" Upon his confirmation, I asked why the hell he hadn't just told me earlier. "I invited you to go with me to the football game, but you said no!"
"No, you asked if I was *going* to the game!"
From that interaction, we decided to go out on a first date. We went to McDonalds. Where I paid for everything, and the dessert that he wanted. We then went back to the school. I tried to kiss him and he freaked out slightly, I'm talking hyperventilating and muttering to himself.
We dated for a few more months before I kissed him a little too passionately one day, and upon his freak out, re-considered dating him. We broke up the next day.
Lastly, the experts suggest paying close attention to your facial expressions when meeting someone. Smile and make eye contact. "We instinctively react positively to smiles, it’s wired into us," reveals Menabney. "We want to share in whatever is making you smile, we want to hear your words."
Avoid frowning and letting your eyes dart all over the room in panic. This immediately brings your confidence level down says Menabney. Good eye contact builds trust and inspires confidence, he explains.
"If we see your eyes looking everywhere rapidly, we see someone who is nervous, who likes like they’ll panic. Again, our brains are wired for this. Our confidence in you takes a dive."
The expert adds that bringing your poker face that you think makes you look serious and professional, or like someone who should be respected and listened to, is also a big "no."
"You’ll come off as arrogant and cold before even opening your mouth," he warns.
#17
We went out to eat and I forgot my wallet so she paid for me. Then went to a party at a mutual friends house where I got black out drunk and passed out and I was supposed to be the dd. My buddy was at the party and seeing my stupidity worked up the courage and asked her out...they dated 3 years
Edit: just to clarify, I was an ACCIDENTAL wing man. I did not consider looking bad so my friend would look good. I was just...a scummy bear.
#18
Recovered though, luckily she had some horrible Rom Com to put in to lighten the mood.
#19
I'd never eaten burritos before, and what I didn't realize was that there's definitely a wrong way to do it. There's planning involved.
Towards the end of the burrito, I felt something slip in the structure of my meal. It became clear that the burrito was going to slither into an unwrapped state imminently, the tinfoil it was wrapped in wasn't going to stop it, and I had a choice; I could either watch my tasty treat of cheesy beef flop onto the floor, or I could eat it, all of it, *right now*.
I didn't regret my decision; but I did have enough of a vague sense of dignity to vocalize a muffled "*fffwrrry..*" to my date as I fished tinfoil out of my packed and leaking gob, and used the other hand to wipe a stray fleck of beef that was oozing down my beard. To compound the awkwardness, it must have been a full minute and a half of silent heavy breathing through my nose before I could clear my mouth enough to more thoroughly apologise and explain. I don't know if she agreed with my choice; but I think she respected it.
Thing is, there was actually a second date, and a third, and I think a fourth. No matter how disappointing you are, sometimes a lady with the pout of Myleene Klass will either be in a dry spell longer than your own. Or possibly have like a fat scruffy man suddenly and inexplicably fisting an entire burrito into their already-stuffed and dripping maw, I never quite ruled that one out.
#20
I picked him up the next night, drove us there, and we went in to sit down. I ordered a diet coke and he ordered a water. He asked what I was going to have and I said “I figured I would get an order of chicken and waffles since that is what you have been telling me about”. He said he had to admit he was a bit low on cash and that my Diet Coke might put us over the edge.
I felt bad and unfortunately I had not brought any money either so I said “Well, why don’t we just go somewhere else? We can pay for the soda and then we can just hit a drive through tonight and go out again when we have more money.” – He said “No No No I want to eat here.” So he says “can you cut down what you are getting to a smaller order?” There was a single waffle which was $5.00 and the cheapest thing they had so I suggested I could get that? It was completely weird and awkward and I just wanted us to leave but instead….
The waiter comes by and the date explains to the waiter that he really needs some help and wanted to take me out to eat but doesn’t have the money could the waiter do him a solid and get us both a meal for under $9.00?…and as I am Mortified.., the waiter says “Totally man, I’ve been in your situation, I know you’re both hungry, what can I get you”….And that angel waiter got him a giant plate of 2 pieces of chicken and 2 waffles…and I got the one waffle that I said I would have been willing to get (Which was awful)…and the waiter charged us $7.50 and still got a tip.
I was stunned! I was both impressed at such a con this kid had pulled and mortified that He did it!
Then I had to drive him back home.
TL: Offered to take a girl out for dinner but didn’t have enough money to pay for it, asked the waiter to help him out and ate like a king.