36 Confessions Of Parents About Things That They Hate About Having A Kid

You won't know you'll regret it until its too late.

I don't regret having my kids at all. But I know some people who do, or wish they'd stuck with one or two but were persuaded to have more because their partner didn't want to have an only child. Kids know when they're something you'd rather not have to deal with, no matter how good you tell yourself you are at hiding it.

And for me personally the worst thing has been my own childhood stuff re-emerging in ways I can't explain. I see my parents very differently now I have my own kids. I don't find parenting my kids that difficult, but dealing with my own stuff has been an unpleasant challenge.

The constant anxiety that you’re doing enough to shape them to make good choices,a good life,be a good person and for them to have the life they deserve.

Time, it really does fly.

When I realize that my oldest is already halfway through her childhood and she’s already outgrown just being a child in so many ways, I just get so sad.

Because when you’re in the thick of it, you’re just so tired and stressed and busy that you just can’t appreciate all the little moments that are passing you and you’ll never get back. I can’t remember the last time I picked her up or she asked me to play or held my hand to cross the street.

Then you feel guilty that you didn’t enjoy those little moments more when you had the chance.

Anxiety.

When my kids were babies I would check to see if they were breathing..
When they go to school you feel bad because you're leaving them with strangers.
You try to raise them to be good people and you constantly judge yourself and try to be better and overthink everything.
You want them to eat healthy, enjoy life, have a good education, feel confident, etc.
You don't want them to be a******s, you don't want them to be weak.
You want them to be confident but not arrogant.
You want them to speak up for themselves but not be rude.
The list goes on..

The lack of freedom, especially with a toddler or baby.

It takes a lot of effort just to get to the store for milk.

No sleep.

The identity loss. It's like someone died, but that someone is you.

being invisible. nothing about me matters anymore and most things are even expected to be given up so they can thrive. the loneliness and how f*****g fast your life rushes away. I'm not even allowed to exit life to not f**k kid up

People used to say "the terrible twos"...Nope, it's the teen years.

I think it's the closest a parent ever gets to removing from earth what you brought to it.

They become "know-it-all, smart-a**ed, money-suckers" that will stand in your face & scream at you all your failings as a parent, they will tell you they hate you, they disengage from the family, & it doesn't matter how privileged & spoiled they are, the parent is the only problem in their lives.

I sure hope the old adage of "you get back 10x what you gave to your parents'. I am so looking forward to this!

The guilt.

You’re no longer the most important person in your own life and your priorities have to change. While it sounds like you just substitute some time this problem can become more insidious if you’re never putting your own needs in front of your child’s. This is how you start resenting others for not putting you first, because you give so much to the other people around you and they can’t just see that you need a break.

So because of this the hardest part of being a parent is having your own life together enough to be a present. Dealing with setting your own boundaries, dealing with your own childhood traumas, and navigating all this change while also trying to provide for a young child.

You've taken personal responsibility and ownership of their life, 24/7, for at least two decades.

Losing your freedom. Want to wake up late and go out for breakfast? Tough you can’t anymore

The worry that I'm not doing a good job

From what I see with friends:

One of the kids is severely mentally handicapped and it destroyed their marriage and it's destroying their lives. They cannot afford permanent housing for the kid, and they don't want to. The guy broke down once and said he wished the kid would die.

Another friend has told me several times over: "I love my kid, but if I could go back in time and forget all about them, I would not choose to become a father." Turns out, he hates that his primary identity is being *a dad* now. He really dislikes other parents and in particular their children.

On top of exceptions like this, general complaints:

1. The cost;
2. The time;
3. Other kids;
4. Other parents;
5. Child-safe everything;
6. Restricted travels;
7. Lack of sleep;
8. Stuck in a relationship "for the kids"...

One of them would divorce the mother of his kid, but he can't afford child support + alimony. Plus, they'd have to sell the house, sell the cars, sell his motorcycle, and everyone would be worse off.

So, they choose to live in some kind of permanent loveless cold war type of family situation, you know, "for the kid". Because that's how you show your child what love is.

The balancing act of not raising an a*****e. Instilling discipline while not being to harsh or too permissive.

Luckily, while my kid does not look much like me (he favors his father in looks) he’s my little carbon copy on how he handles and responds to things so I know exactly how to communicate with him. His father and I are divorced, and he has majority custody right now (I have most of the kid’s life) so I get phone calls to solve issues weekly. Kid wanted to live mostly with his father this year, made it 3 months and wants to go back to living with me. I haven’t mastered the balance but I think I do ok, especially given my harsh father.