Parents Share What Disappointed Them About Having Kids, And Here Are 50 Of The Most Honest Responses

I’m divorced and the worst part of having kids is being tied to my ex forever.

It never gets easier, only different. Newborns not sleeping through the night gets replaced by teens staying out past curfew and you going down the deep rabbit hole of worry wondering if they were in a car accident, abducted or something else.

Watching them make the same mistakes you did even though you told them not to make those mistakes.

Little Jimmy.. if you borrow a bunch of money, those people are going to want it back and if they don't get it back they'll take stuff you won't want taken.

The constant anxiety that you’re doing enough to shape them to make good choices,a good life,be a good person and for them to have the life they deserve.

The loss of freedom. I can't just... go somewhere. Even with older kids, there's so much planning and thinking and getting ready.

I miss being able to just decide to go somewhere, and go there.

Watching them grow. It’s the most rewarding heartbreak ever.

I'm only 9 years in, but so far it's been the sleep deprivation. Hands down.

ETA: I'm not still sleep deprived. My kids sleep great now at nearly 9 & 5. But that was the hardest part of parenthood for me so far.

Yeah co-sign on "constant worry." Having a kid is like having a little piece of your heart running around in the world. When they're sick or get disappointed or just feel sad, it's worse than having it happen to you. Yet at the same time, you need to let your kids work through those things to learn to handle them. If you give into the worry and try to shield them from everything, you risk creating harmful co dependence. So it's a constant struggle. But worth it!

Watching them stray down the wrong path. Wishing they’d listen to you.

The cleanup.

From the moment the water breaks it's cleanup. Not just the entire birthing process on the "Big Day" either. Diapers spit up and tired messy mom give way to toilet training. Cleanup of every bodily fluid. Laundry, toys, and food crumbs find every nook and cranny of space. Then you have to navigate all of the emotional cleanup from sharing toys, to bad teachers, to bullies, to bad breakups.

It's almost always cleanup, but it isn't always bad.

They’re just always there. On you, behind you, in front of you, just a little speed bump impeding every task. Lol

How much you sacrifice. Kids take everything you’ve got and then ask for more. They are endless, remorseless need machines. (Or at least they feel that way, for a looong time.)

But that’s just the deal. And if you’re up for it, it’s a perfectly acceptable deal. But even when you are all in and completely okay about the sacrifice, sometimes it really feels like a lot.

Besides all the other things mentioned, having your internal organs rearranged. Some of them permanently.

Your life's no longer yours. By time you get home from work, sort tea, sort kitchen, get then in bed you've about an hr before you gotta go to bed to start it all over again

Edit: when I say tea I mean dinner/supper, not a cup of tea

At least in America, it seems like society doesn't give a s**t about supporting families, financially.

Daycare is expensive as hell. Oh, school finally helped take care of your kids? Well, what about after school care? What about summer? Summer camps and after school care costs are nuts too. All of this adds up to the constant anxiety of failing your child, financially.

How your partner changes. My partner (M) and I (F) we’re thinking about having a child. He wants 2 I would love 3. We have one (2 years old). I cannot express how much he changed after the child…. He is a completely different person and not in a good way. He is always short tempered, which I had no idea before the baby arrived. (we are together for 10 years).
edit: this is what makes me think I am done at one… I cannot imagine what life would be with more kids, as he is angry all the time

Every time I'm no longer needed for something, it takes some time for me to adjust. I had no problem with never needing to change another diaper when he was a toddler, but it feels like every day of his teen years results in one more thing he can do independently. He's taller than me now and can reach into the cabinets just fine without my help. We've also stopped going for walks together, now that he has a cell phone.

I've been stay at home parent his entire life, and now I'm thinking about getting a job, but people don't want to hire me anywhere. That's been really difficult, too.

My top thing I tell expecting parents is you no longer sleep when you see fit. Tired? Too bad, you’ve got responsibilities and a human/humans to keep alive.

This worsens because not only do you wake up when they do and go to sleep after them, but you’re also inclined to stay up later for doing whatever grownup stuff you enjoy. I’m so guilty of staying up way too late to watch shows that aren’t exactly kid friendly, my wife is all into the true crime stuff, so we get the kids to bed then stay up until 1-2 some nights watching stuff. Guess who doesn’t give a s**t? The kids. They’re up at 7-8 ready to rock and I’m yet to find their snooze buttons. I’m fortunate to function well on anything over 6 hours of sleep, her not so much. She’s currently passed out on the couch as I type this, for the exact reasons listed above lol.

It's like taking a 2nd job that lasts 18+ years with 24/7 schedule with no holidays or sick days.

For me it's giving up a part of myself that I will never get back, don't get me wrong, I would choose to do it every time, but there is a mourn of a previous self and the sacrifice I need to do to become the best father I can be and that can be hard sometimes.