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There are as many parenting styles as there are parents, and there’s no universal recipe on how to raise your children. But because the current generation faces unprecedented challenges, it also requires tact and special behavior from parents to be able to keep up with the changing times and the increased demands of parenting and child-rearing.
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The coronavirus pandemic and political turmoil and war we see in Europe right now, as well as the inflation reaching sky highs all bring their own kind of uncertainty. For this reason, many parents are reevaluating the common parenting tactics previous generations took for granted.
Communicating trauma and being open about difficulties is one such new trend we see among parents. Another new style emerging is that more and more parents choose to provide their kids with experiences instead of material gifts. This is how you create memorable experiences and establish a better bond with your kid.
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But no matter what new trends emerge in parenting, one very common flaw will probably outlive them all. And you guessed it… it’s spoiling kids. In fact, over half this survey of 1,125 parents with kids between 4 and 10 confessed that they spoil their children too much. Another 2 in 5 go even further, saying they’re sometimes “embarrassed by how selfish their child acts.”
Spoiled kids don’t get to know and feel what it is like to be grateful, as gratitude is not something that children acquire automatically. It needs to be nurtured, in an age-appropriate way, but the more they get used to getting their way easily, the harder it is to turn them around.
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So in order to find out more about how being spoiled in childhood may affect your adult life, we spoke with Lynn How, the author of “Positive Young Mind'' and life coach who specializes in supporting educators, parents, and children with improving and prevention of mental health issues. She also runs this Facebook teacher coaching group which is an excellent resource for teachers in need of support when leaving, changing their mindset, changing their schools or setting healthy work/life boundaries.
“Do you know anyone who has trouble keeping their emotions in check when they don’t get their own way?” Lynn said and added that it may be that they were spoilt as a child and this hasn’t done them any favors as they move into their adult life.
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“These children may turn into adults who show less resilience when things go wrong and they may give up easily when things aren’t working out. Also, they want it all and they want it now whereas most adults can tolerate delayed gratification,” she explained.
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Moreover, “other traits that they may display include a lack of independence as their problems were generally solved for them, an inability to take criticism as nothing they did badly would invoke the appropriate feedback and the idea that everything should just come to them easily without too much work.”
“This last point is also coupled with a huge sense of disappointment when it doesn’t work out. All in all, this doesn’t set a child up to have positive relationships or good mental health as an adult.”
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There are many different challenges a spoiled child is likely to face while growing up. “A lack of appropriate boundaries can be very confusing for a child and although on the outside, these children can seem argumentative and rude, this stems from a lack of self-confidence on the inside as they have not been given these tools,” Lynn explained.
“Once their safety blanket of the parents spoiling them has been removed, coping on their own would bring on anxiety which could manifest itself as a tantrum,” she added.
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