Raising tiny humans is a challenge that many parents gladly accept, even though they know that navigating the trials and tribulations of the journey can be overwhelming. After all, parenthood is always evolving. New ideas, technologies, and methods come about and demand that moms and dads adapt to the modern parenting arena and raise their little bundles of joy in the best way possible.
But while everyone wants what's best for their kids, some controversial tactics inevitably stir heated debates. So when a Redditor called ShopFastWhere reached out to 'Ask Reddit' wondering, "What parenting 'trend' you disagree with?", the answers started rolling in. In fact, the question sparked a much deeper chain of questionable and even toxic parenting behaviors that people are, quite frankly, sick and tired of seeing.
Below, we've gathered some of the most illuminating, blatantly honest, and thought-provoking arguments to share with you all. So continue scrolling, upvote the examples you agree with, and let us know what current parenting trends you don't agree with in the comments.
#21
Shaming your kids on social media. Like, making them hold a sign that states what they did and putting a picture of it on the internet. And we wonder why the world is full of bullies...
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111points
#22
Having worked in early childhood education, there are a lot of parents who focus on academics rather than social emotional skills, self care, and social skills. "Mrs. Parent, that is absolutely wonderful that 4 year old Raighdyn can read at a second grade level and does 25 worksheets every night, but can we discuss the fact that he has panic attacks, sensory issues, hits his class mates and doesn't know how to wipe himself? No? Oh, ok, you'll give him a worksheet to learn about it. Great..."
Seriously, parents need to tell their preschool and kindergarten teachers that play based learning is the most appropriate learning style for EVERY CHILD at that age. It doesn't matter if they are advanced and can do the desk work, they still need to build so many other non-academic skills that will bolster their ability to "student" effectively in the future. I recently resigned from my much loved position in a preschool because the administration was trying to go against the state standards and have us start teaching preschoolers how to read. They moved a more senior teacher out of her room against her will and inserted a more malleable, newer teacher in because she was willing to do what they wanted, and guess what happened? Her class was a NIGHTMARE. Now that class is in Kindergarten and they are having so many behavior issues that they can't even teach.
DOWN WITH WORKSHEETS!
Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.
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108points
At the end of the day, parents today face challenges that require them to keep up with the times and the increased demands of their roles. Holly argues that this whole journey is an ongoing process of learning and adapting to each individual child's needs. "Parents should strive for a balance between loving guidance and allowing their children to make mistakes and grow from them. This will give kids the best chance at becoming independent adults with the skills they need to succeed in life."
"We should also be mindful of our own biases and experiences, as these can influence how we parent and how we react to other parenting methods," Holly continued. "It is important to be open-minded and consider different perspectives before making decisions about how to raise our children."
"If we don't agree with something and it isn't causing any actual harm, just walk away," she concluded.
#24
Never lettings them fail. I see young people who enter the workforce having never failed at anything, because their parents simply swooped in and fixed whatever problem they may have had.
These young people have a real struggle adapting to and overcoming problems, and they often seem traumatized by virtually any setback.
Let your kids try stuff that isn't going to work. Let them fail to solve problems and achieve goals. When they get into a bind, let them struggle and fail. Help them to understand why they failed, and to develop strategies to succeed in the future.
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102points
#25
Letting your kid eat whatever they want. Way too many kids hitting obese status by 10.
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92points
#26
Beating your kids till they fear coming home, I was one of those kids and I hated every moment of my childhood.
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92points
#27
Scaring their kids as a prank, regardless of whether it’s filmed or not, before the children can comprehend what a prank even is
“Let me put on this scary monster mask and jump out in front of my toddler”
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91points
#28
Sharing their childrens' problem to their friends. Parents should be trusted by their kids of keeping their problems. Maybe that's the reason why most kids and even teens dont share their problems to their parents but to their friends
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87points
#29
Not being able to discipline your own kids.
Discipline and abuse are two totally different things!
You either correct them now or let the "system" do it for you later.
Discipline and abuse are two totally different things!
You either correct them now or let the "system" do it for you later.
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87points
#31
Treating your kids like they’re the center of the world. My son is the center of my world, but I can’t treat him that way. It would be a rude awakening when he’s not the center of attention wherever he goes.
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83points
#33
Enforcing religion, teaching kids materialism will make them happy, not looking into the child's mental health
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75points
#34
Treating your child like they were perfect and blaming everyone else for your child's and your f**k ups.
Oh, and taking your child's side no matter what, even if they're wrong.
Oh, and taking your child's side no matter what, even if they're wrong.
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73points
#35
Some gentle parenting techniques go too far. My ex-nephew had a tantrum in the middle of my ex-MIL’s living room one day because his bagel was cut in half (typical toddler stuff). SIL at the time just kept saying in this over the top voice “ohh, I’m so sorry. I know you didn’t want your bagel cut. I know, it’s so hard, blah blah blah.” She just kept on like that to him forever while the rest of us just had to sit there with a screaming toddler melting down in the middle of the room. Remove him! Take him to another room and have him calm the hell down to behave with others. There’s gotta be a balance on supporting your kids through their feelings and teaching them how to function around others.
She also helicoptered him so much he was developmentally behind in motor skills/physically for a while cause she never let him fall or explore/ figure anything out like toddlers do. She treated him like he was made of glass.
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71points
#36
Homeschooling kids to protect them from what happens in the education system. I don't like everything that happens in schools, but kids need a real education and regular exposure to kids their age.
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68points
#37
ALL of them. There is no trend or even broad tactic that will work every kid. They need to know that love is unconditional but respect is not. That they have rights and responsibilities.
They have to know they are the most important thing in the world until they believe, and then you have to dial that back to where they understand that their parents love them but they are one member of a bigger society.
Parenting is hard, and every kid needs to be patented different. Every parenting trend is just one more layer of b******t trying to sell you stuff based on your fear of inadequacy.
Talk to your kids and put the phone down.
Source: ten years in child care.
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67points
#38
Filming or taking pics of crying younger kids and posting it on social media like it's cute/funny. Sure, they may be crying for a silly reason, but they aren't old enough to process their emotions properly, so to them it's a big deal. Maybe I'm being too sensitive, but it feels like their main protector giggling and taking their phone out to film them during a meltdown can't be something good for their emotional well-being and ability to trust in the long term.
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65points
#39
No punishments at all. You cannot tune a complex system with positive feedback alone.
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63points
#40
I used to bicycle long distances regularly to get to friends, swim lessons and when I was old enough, to work.
Now it seems you are a terrible parent if you let your child out of your sight? From the perspective of building independence, confidence and saving the planet from helicopter parents driving their kids everywhere can we please just let kids bicycle again?
63points