45 Modern Parenting "Trends" That People Just Can’t Stand, As Shared In This Online Thread

From day one, moms and dads get bombarded with heaps of advice, usually unasked, about how to raise their children. Wait, scratch that. They get flooded with tips and how-tos even before they can welcome their little bundle of joy into their lives.

While virtually anyone has an opinion on the matter, and many seem to believe that their way is the right way, the topic remains a delicate subject. After all, there are as many parenting tactics as there are parents, and each person comes up with their own child-rearing style, tailor-made to fit the unique relationship between them and their kid.

But even if there’s no universal recipe on how to raise children, it’s easy to see that some of the trends parents choose these days are controversial at best and toxic at worst. So to gain more insight on the topic, we reached out to a lifestyle blogger and a working mom of two energetic girls, ​​Holly Connors. After a decade of working in psychology, Holly is now the author of the acclaimed site Simplify Create Inspire where she helps families make their lives easier.

"Parenting is the one area of life in which no one is the expert," ​​Holly told Bored Panda in an email. "Not even the experts have all the answers for what is right or wrong in every scenario. As a result, parents are constantly trying to figure out what works best for their own families and this can lead to strong opinions and disagreements with each other."

One common topic that keeps resurfacing in some form or another is how parents introduce and familiarize their little ones with the digital world. "For example, I know of some parents who have opted against letting their children use social media while others believe they should be allowed access at an early age. In our household, there are a lot of tech limits but some supervised access is a way to ease children into something that will be a big part of their future," Holly said.

When it comes to the reasons parents adopt controversial methods to raise their kids, Holly explained some of them may be simply "repeating the cycle from their own upbringing without questioning its effect."

"Others may be trying to micromanage their child's life in order to protect them from making mistakes or experiencing failure similar to their own childhoods, even if that means overly controlling their environment," the creator of Simplify Create Inspire added.

Turns out, people may turn into controlling parents because they simply want what’s best for their kids — in their own minds. "This is usually done in an attempt to protect their children from a place of love, but often it can cause more harm than good as the child attempts to gain their own independence.

"In addition, there are those who think that their parenting style is the only 'right' way to do things and will go to great lengths to defend it. This can be more damaging as it creates tension between family members, in school settings and especially on social media."

However, Holly assured us that there is definitely no single "right" to raise a child. "From cultural differences to the special needs of an individual child, every parent's journey is unique and no two are the same. There may be general principles that parents can follow, but they will still need to be adapted to each individual family's dynamics."

"At the end of the day, we can assume that all parents want what is best for their children, even if their method and approach might not always be the most popular or agreed upon. We are individuals with unique views and experiences, so it is important to keep an open mind when discussing different parenting approaches."

Among the new questionable trends that emerge in parenting, one usually stands right at the top of the list — parents who become over-involved and hover over every aspect of their child's life. Even though it seems this helps protect the child from hurt, danger, and failure, in fact, it's taking away the opportunity to learn.

According to Holly, kids of all ages benefit from learning how to make decisions for themselves. "Parents can help create an environment where this is possible by encouraging kids to think about their choices and helping them weigh out the pros and cons of each one," she advised.

"When children are given no control over their environment, there is no opportunity to learn from their mistakes in order to build up resilience or problem-solve. This can make it much harder for the child to adapt to the real world when they are older."

Unfortunately, high-control parenting can lead to dire consequences like low-self esteem, "as it communicates the idea that the parent does not trust them or believe they can make the right choices," Holly said. "It is much better for a child's development if the parent gives them some autonomy and allows them to explore their options, so long as they remain safe."

Holly argues that the best way to encourage independence in kids is by "setting boundaries, providing structure, and allowing them the room to explore and make decisions on their own. This helps build up their confidence while also giving them the opportunity to learn from their mistakes."