Women Are Sharing Their Experiences With “Nice Guys” And These 40 Are Terrible

A horrible date with a "nice guy" named Josh back in 2002.

We went hiking on our date, he spent the entire time bragging about how smart he was, smarter than everyone he's ever known, so smart, he knew not to go to a university because community college is just as good for much less. Everyone who goes to a university is an idiot, everyone who doesn't do things the exact way Josh does them is a low-IQ moron.

All of Josh's co-workers are idiots; he was the best Geek Squad employee in history, and Best Buy would fall apart without him.

Josh also had a lot of trouble finding a woman because women often have low IQs and can't keep up with his intellect. Women are dumb, not me, though, I'm OK.

I could not wait to get home and block the guy.

Edit:

I met him on Yahoo Personals. He came off OK there and we arranged a date after a short conversation.

Yes, we had AIM and Yahoo Messenger back then, and that's where I blocked him.

I don't know where Josh is today, I don't care.

I don't care what his side of the story is, he was a t**t and probably still is.

No, I wasn't fat.

Josh's attitude and horrible personality are 100% Josh's fault, not mine.

Matched with a dude on hinge last year, talked for a day or two and exchanged numbers. Sent him a selfie of me without makeup, like just for fun idk it wasn’t flirty or sexual. And he got the metadata from that iPhone photo and sent me a google maps picture of the house I sent it from.

Blocked him immediately, and then he somehow used my number or my address to find my full name, and then from there my email address. He sent me an email demanding to know what he did wrong, that he didn’t understand my overreaction…. like dude!!!! Anyways I don’t text anyone off of the apps until after a first date, such a weird situation, and I still can’t believe he sent me an email being like “YOURE the crazy one for reacting like this!!” He was just being nice I guess.

When I was in my 20’s, I lived with my male coworker/best friend for a year. I’m a lesbian and had a long distance girlfriend at the time, and they formed their own friendship when she would come to visit. One weekend, I was away for a wedding, and behind my back he moved her into our home. I was shocked when I came back to this “surprise” and she told me he was adamant about how I wanted her to move in, but I was too scared to ask her so he wanted to surprise me. For the record - I did NOT want to live with her at that time.

Well, within those first 6 months after she moved in, he was the standard nice guy. We all cohabitated well and formed an amazing friendship with family meals, movie nights and outings. But then one night he said he wanted to have a meeting with us.

In a very serious and emotional moment for him, he told us that he wanted us to start a family together and that he would impregnate my girlfriend and we could all spend the rest of our lives living together. We thought he was joking, but he was almost on the verge of tears with how much this would mean to him and was in love with us both. We both shot the idea down and talked privately about how uncomfortable that was.

Cut to the following months, he started pitting us against each other, not cleaning up and was telling each other us that the other was cheating. When we eventually decided to move out and eventually broke up, he immediately tried to date her and she ended up cutting contact with him because he was so pushy. We tried to maintain an amicable friendship because we worked together, but he kept making weird sexual comments my way and I eventually got a new job.

A year later he asked me to go on a walk so we could try to repair the friendship, and he gave me a letter stating he was in love with us both and he had never imagined dealing with heartbreak from two women. He blamed both of us for failing school, living in a s****y apartment and not being where he wanted to be in life. It was so strange, manipulative and heartbreaking as prior to living together - he was truly one of the “nice guys”.

My roommates and I were having a house party one evening, with maybe 40 or so friends. This one gal gets really drunk, so we put her in my bedroom and closed the door - but we checked on her periodically.

When I went to check on her, one guy we knew was in bed with her trying to convince her to wake up to sleep with him. He was actually pretty nice guy, and I liked chatting/hanging with him. But, I told him to GTFO of the room and my house right now in a very serious tone.

He promptly left, and that was the end of it. He eventually married another friend and had kids and seems to have had a happy life together.

Very bizarre and unexpected. Glad the gal was safe, though.

When I was about 18-19 I was a very geeky kid (still am!). I got talking to this guy online via a TV show fandom we were both in. He seemed nice, same age, lived only about an hour away by train. I had some episodes of this TV show that he didn't, and after a few months of friendly email chatting we arranged for him to come to my town and meet up so that he could copy them. This was the days of VHS/DVDs, so not easily transferable online. I had already told him that my parents and brother would be at home and that he was welcome to stay for dinner before he caught the train back.

We met up in town and things seemed to be going OK. We went back to my place and said hi to my parents, after which he seemed really unhappy and told me that he felt ill. While the tapes were recording he spent most of the afternoon locked in the bathroom throwing up. We were all really concerned and thought that he had food poisoning or something.

I was disappointed, as I had thought that we might have a fun afternoon being nerds over this TV show. We'd discussed which episodes to watch, and planned numerous other geeky topics to discuss in person. Instead, he came out of the bathroom, coldly collected his tapes and said that he was leaving early. I walked him back to the train station in silence, gave him a confused hug and waved goodbye. I thought that maybe he was just still feeling ill, or was embarrassed about throwing up.

Several days later, he sent me an email saying that he was still thinking about the hug and asked me to be his girlfriend. I wasn't attracted to him at all and I really had just thought of him as a friend, so I declined as gently and tactfully as I could.

He didn't take it well and got angry. He'd apparently convinced himself that I'd invited him to come over to my house and have s*x, despite all our discussions about my family being there and plans for which episodes to watch that afternoon. I read back over our emails and honestly couldn't see where he'd made that assumption, but he accused me of leading him on and wanted me to repay him his train fare. It felt horrible knowing that he'd only been willing to come and see me because he thought that he could get s*x out of it, and that I wasn't worth his time or a train trip otherwise.

I now think that he'd either worked himself up into such a state of h***y anticipation that he literally made himself sick from it, or that he was just hiding in the bathroom for hours to avoid having to make actual normal conversation with me while his tapes recorded. Possibly both.

Our contact petered out after that, because he'd shown his true colours. Probably about a year and a half later I got a single terse email from him telling me that he now had a girlfriend so I'd missed my chance, and a picture of the tapes that I'd recorded for him melted and in the bin.

Had a guy i knew in high school ask me out. Then faked a s*******m attempt and hospitalization when I turned him down and pretended to be his mom telling me about how he's so nice and deserves at least one date when he "gets out of the hospital". Then, when I called him out he said he doesn't date "pathetic females" like me anyway. Real charmer.

Hit it off with this one guy while out with friends. He was super sweet, said all the right things and we were flirting for a while.

Finally I went to leave with a friend and got into her passenger seat, was thinking of maybe meeting up with him until he came to my friend’s car, banged on the window with his fists and asked “do you wanna f**k?” before I could even roll the window down.

I said no, started to roll the window up and he put his fingers in it so I couldn’t. Just stood there with an angry face for a while, called me a b***h and stomped away.

Date with a local guy while I was home for the summer (living abroad) many years ago.

He was nice/cute but trying a bit too hard and wanting to move really fast (I think I was 25 at the time and not imminently ready for marriage). After two dates I just wasn’t feeling it as he was love bombing me with all kinds of crazy, lavish gifts (AirPods, expensive alcohol that I liked, etc - he had some money but wasn’t crazy wealthy or anything) from the beginning. When I declined a third date, he started sending the gift packages to my mom’s house, and always included a love note about how much he liked me and how desperately he wanted me to come over to his place for dinner some time.

The craziest was the last gift which included 2 concert tickets to see Bon Iver in the European city I was currently living, saying how he would fly out and come to the show with me. Needless to say I did NOT go, and the concert ironically ended up being cancelled by the artist. Guess it was never meant to be….(and he promptly blocked me on all social media after that lol 🙃).

I wish there were some way to burn every copy of every episode of the TV show *The Big Bang Theory*.

While it was airing, this weird guy thought it was *perfectly normal* to follow me to my office on my first day of grad school. He stood at the door to block my only exit, and proceeded to tell me that he "had to" follow me because otherwise he "might not see me again." I had to nod along while he thought it made perfect sense to deliver a sales pitch for himself.

Fortunately, the Department head agreed to give me a new office near the receiving desk, so there'd always be other people near. But d**n, what a s****y start to the academic year.

He was a friend and never showed any romantic interest. I worked in a club. He offered to walk me home after work to make sure I’m safe. I declined because had to spend an hour cleaning after closing and didn’t want him waiting that long. He did wait. He walked me home only to go inside then refuse to leave unless I had s*x. Took ages to get him to go. We didn’t have s*x tbc. My main job started at 9am and he knew this but still kept me up because he wouldn’t leave. Think he hoped I’d give in because I was exhausted.

My friend group was out dancing, and we talked to a group of men one of us knew. I met them for maybe 30 seconds, in a dark club, and went right back to dancing with my friends.

One of those men asked a friend for my number, and he stalked me for 3 years. The Norwegian police took him to court, and he was still messaging me from new numbers telling me we were made for each other until he was sentenced.

I was 16(f) and had to transfer to a neighboring school.

Making friends was awkward you know. I didn't know anyone. But there was a group of guys who were nerdy in chemistry. I was really into magic and Dr who at the time so we hit it off. They built me a magic deck and let me play. We talked about music and comic books and all the fun stuff.

I was horribly naive. I didn't pick up on a lot of hints. But there was one of the guys and we like coheed and Cambria. There are accompanying graphic novels.
Well he surprised me and said he got me one! I was stoked. I was like ok dude after you finish reading it I will read it and we can talk about it and listen to the album.

Well he was really pushy about me finishing it, but there were final projects and I was busy and I couldn't read it at home since my parents were strict. I finally get to the end and there is a proposal for prom.

I had a boyfriend at the time. Granted he was a dbag and went to my old school. But this guy was pissed. Ripped the comic from my hands. Yelled at me. Called me a cold hearted b***h and anytime we would pass in the hall he would call me a w***e. Just so weird.

The other guys in the group were good sports and it didnt affect our friendship. We just didn't really talk to him anymore.

We were teenagers, people would always hang at my place. One day I was chilling with the ladies and we were giggling over boys as girls do. Unfortunately one of the boys was "too shy to come in" and stood outside my window, listening to us talk... also when we proceeded to giggle at his unwanted advances on one of my friends.

In the weeks after, I received some creepy s**t in the mail. First it was a bunch of bloody feathers, like he'd just grabbed a chicken and yanked half its skin and feathers off and then put it in our mailbox. Then a week later, a letter scrawled in creepy dark red ink about how horrible we were for laughing at a Nice Guy like him and we learned it wasn't the first or only time he'd been hanging out outside my window, nor had it just been for a couple unlucky seconds that one time. Word got out. He was kinda shunned afterwards, he tried to invite girls to parties and promised them booze and tried to do a whole pre-fedora melady thing, but no one would ever show up. Then he went on to be a soldier stationed in Kosovo, had a couple a*****e relationships, and I kinda lost track of him from there.

He was about twice my age (I was 25ish, he was about 50) close to twice my weight (not in muscle) wasn't active in the slightest (compared to my incredibly active lifestyle at the time) didn't have any hobbies, I didn't find him attractive at all, and we didn't have anything in common but he got mad that I wouldn't give him a chance because he was a "nice guy".

Then he spread rumors around the workplace (yes, we worked together which was also a factor in my decision to decline pursuing a relationship) that I was a mean, coldhearted b***h tease because I "flirted" with him but wouldn't go out with him.

Oh, p.s. the "flirting" he was talking about was me saying hi to him when I passed him on the factory floor. 😒.

I’m bisexual. I met a “nice guy” who was also queer and knew my boyfriend well. Nice guy and I start bonding as friends, he’s the kind of guy I can leave my drink around and feel safe etc, etc. He gets married and everything is great.

Then one day, out of nowhere, he texts me to try to talk me into a t*******e with him and his wife, with the caveat my boyfriend can’t know.

I’ve never shown a bit of interest in this dude, nor his wife. I told my boyfriend and immediately blocked him. We still have mutual friends and see each other around occasionally, but I refuse to talk to him.

My mom forgot to pick me up from school as a junior, and it was pouring rain. My boyfriend's friend was around and offered me a ride home. I normally would not have, but because of the freezing cold, pouring rain I chose to get in.

He almost immediately started talking about how attractive I was, how my boyfriend was not a good match for me & said my boyfriend was actually secretly gay, went on about how he could treat me better. I politely turned him down, because I was trapped in a car with him and was afraid to be rude. I said I was flattered but that I really liked my boyfriend and that I am sure a very nice girl would come along for him.

He flipped out on me saying I thought I was too good for him, pulled over, and made me get out of his car and walk the rest of the way home in the pouring rain.

The next day at school he told everyone that I had tried to seduce him in the car and put my hands on him etc trying to do so. Said that I flipped out on him when he rebuffed me, tried to convince my boyfriend to break up with me, etc. Spread crazy rumors about me through the rest of the school year, periodically increasingly awful stories that were not based on anything in reality. It was exhausting.

I had a few dates, after graduation (and I can't emphasize more) with a former human rights professor of mine. He would preach about women's rights, gay rights like he really cared.

After some suspicion from my side, I got to know that he was married! I was also young and confused about my own sexuality and that's the main reason behind my "willingness " to date him. He knew it and he was demanding me to join a t*******e with another former student (a woman). He was not pleased when I said no.

At a certain point, I've had enough and ran away. Got to know that he was fired due to some misconduct, but now he's giving interviews to a famous newspaper (back in my country) because he is really known in the human rights community.

.... and everyone thinks he's a nice guy.

We bought groceries together for a work event and he insisted on putting all the groceries into the car because “I’m superior to him”. I had to nervously laugh my way out of that and say no of course not haha. When we got back into the car he asked if I was in a relationship I said no but that I also wasn’t looking (I was but I had a feeling he was going to ask). He said not even with me? I said haha no not with anyone sorry. He said I was being really rude by not even accepting a date.

When we got back to work he complained to everyone that I made him do all the shopping and that I then started name calling in the car. He also said *I* wouldn’t stop asking him on a date. Since everyone saw him bring the groceries back in (because he had strongly insisted) at least that part looked true and I was so scared because I didn’t know how to sort the whole thing out. Luckily the camera in the car had audio.


Edit: I really appreciate all the advice but this was a few years ago and has been resolved. He was fired soon after for apparently something else.

Went out drinking with a girlfriend and we met up with the guy I was dating, a self proclaimed “nice guy” and a friend of his. He and his friend were acting weird and not mingling with us and it made my friend feel uncomfortable and so she decided to leave. I reassured her I would be ok with him, and later that night I ended up passing out on a couch at the bar. I woke up to him leading me outside for an uber and then he whipped out his phone and showed me all these embarrassing pictures he had taken of me while I was passed out on the couch. I was still fairly out of it but I said something groggily like “well that was creepy” and he flipped out. Told me I was a waste of time and he should’ve let me get r***d by leaving me down there. When we tried to “talk it out”, he refused to take accountability or apologize for the hurtful things he said or it not being a reflex to make sure I was ok. He kept saying “I reacted to how you treated me, im a nice guy.” And “you should trust me.” Boy bye. That was the end of that. 

I knew him for almost seven years. Over time, he went through phases of liking every single girl in our friend group. By senior year of high school, he had moved on to me. Throughout that entire time, I made it clear that I wasn't interested in dating at all.

The girls in our group saw him as a "nice guy" because he acted like he was the smartest person in the world. In reality, he treated us poorly and couldn't understand why no one wanted to date him.

When I started dating my ex, he began kicking him under the lunch table, calling him names, and making jokes that made me uncomfortable. Eventually, he stopped being friends with me and told me that if I ever changed my mind, he’d be there.

After that, he started talking badly about me to anyone who would listen, claiming I had led him on. Although we were still in the same friend group, he treated me terribly, and we barely spoke.

Eventually, I realized the friend group was toxic for other reasons too, so I left. I later found out he believed I left because my ex was abusing me. No one questioned him. I was safe, they just wanted to make me a damsel who couldn’t be saved by him I guess.

They are all still friends so maybe he grew out of it.