30 Things And Experiences That Feel Beyond Bad, As Shared By Folks Online

A few years ago I euthanized an elderly woman’s elderly cat. She’d lost her only daughter to cancer and her husband the month before.

I asked if there was anything I could do for her. She looked down at her cat in her arms, started to cry, and between sobs said “I just want my family back.”

If you find something worse than sitting there powerless as an old woman’s heart breaks over the sudden and permanent loss of all of her loved ones, you have my profound sympathy. Because that was awful.

The grief from the [passing away] of a loved. Lost the love of my life after her 5 year battle with ovarian cancer. We were happily married 31 years. It was like someone had cut open my chest and ripped my heart out.

Keytoemeyo said:
Feeling like a burden (so you never express yourself and end up feeling very, very alone).

Thoth74 replied:
This is the [effin'] worst. When you just want to talk about what is bothering you but you don't want your [problems] to bring anyone else down. People will tell you to talk to a therapist but you can't even bring yourself to be a burden to someone being paid for it.

After_Ad9814 said:
A combination of monotony, boredom, insecurity, and anger, along with the need to get out of bed every morning because you have things you need to do.

Klashus replied:
Everyone knows a functioning alcoholic. People usually don't know about the functioning depressed person. I'm not late sometimes because I'm lazy... it's literally the hardest part of the whole day. Finding a reason not to say [screw] it. The only reason you don't just stay home is because at 20 and 10 jobs ago you realized it doesn't work. So you slog through 50-60 hours of soul crushing activities to just exist how you're supposed to.

lilnicky-1205 said:
When you suddenly cannot breathe properly and your heart beats hard in your chest from the pain of knowing you can never see or talk to someone ever again.

Capital_Pea replied:
I’ve lost so many people in my life from my teens to now (50’s) this feeling has just been something I’ve always had to live with, and it never goes away. It does become less frequent for some of my loved ones as the years go on but then i lose someone else and it starts again more frequently.

[deleted] said:
When someone you trusted betrays you.

SolidLikeIraq replied:
I was going to say: that feeling when you catch someone lying to you, and the way they did it was so nonchalant and normal, that you have to then question anything they’ve ever said with confidence.

just-existing-here said:
Watching someone you care about mess up their life. All you can do is watch.

longwalktoday replied:
I tried so hard to help my younger brother with his alcoholism and I couldn’t. It was a feeling of dread, desperation, hope (he was good at saying the right thing). It’s hard to watch.

living_sunshine said:
Trying hard to make friends but failing , honestly nothing worse than talking to yourself in a group of people.

Fluffyturtle225 replied:
This hit me harder than most other things here. I've spent my entire life just trying to find someone or some people to hang out with but I'm just the awkward outcast all the time. I have no one to be with physically.

I've been trying to find hobbies that'd be interesting and enjoyable to me for years, I've come up blank. And on the topic of just talking to new people, that is so [friggin'] hard. I get scared of talking to current online friends just because I feel like I might accidentally insult them somehow, actually walking up to someone and saying "hi" is a monumental task I can only attempt once in a blue moon. Not to mention due to my lack of aforementioned hobbies, I have basically no conversation topics and so when I do say hello to someone I just kinda shrink away immediately. Not to mention I also cannot interact with groups of people very well, usually becoming a silent observer.

I wish everyone a good day.

How about a parent telling you they don't love you?

When I was 12 my father got another woman pregnant, so decided to divorce my mother for other woman. On his last day coming by the house ever, he came into my room to say goodbye and as he was leaving he told me, in pretty much these exact words, "I want you to know that I don't love you anymore and I am going to start a new family now. You probably won't ever see me again." He then walked out of my room. I ran out of my room screaming and crying holding on to my dad's leg begging him not to leave as he dragged me down the hall, my mother screaming/crying, to have him basically shake me off, curse, and bolt out the door. Next time I saw him I was 17.

It was a pretty messed up thing and it REALLY hurt me as a kid.

My mother was amazing and fortunately she remarried within a few years and my step father has been an amazing person in my life. I am 38 years old now so this was a while ago.

Getting news that your sibling has stage 4 melanoma. Our parents have both passed. I have come to the realization that sooner than I thought ever, I'm going to be the only person left in my immediate family. This f*****g sucks.

I am 8 years younger than him, but we have always been very close. He is married with 1 kid. I am married and have 2 kids. But it's just different when you and your sibling have been through so much, you're a team.

*Update: my brother passed away. He had surgery the week prior to put a stabilizing rod on his femur. He declined after that. I'm shattered and I feel a loneliness like non-other.

zvekl said:
Being married but feeling single.

iwantallthechocolate replied:
I felt this for too long. My divorce will be final next month and I've been seeing someone who makes me feel like I have a marriage even though we are just dating. Don't stay with someone who refuses to make an effort for your basic needs of feeling loved, valued, and appreciate.

SoFastMuchFurious said:
"We need to talk" and then when you text back right away, they don't text for hours.

mochikitsune replied:
My boss used to do this to me like "come see me in my office".

It was to show me a cute video of his cat 99% of the time and 1% was to check in and make sure i was not burnt out. I still get a heart attack and its been four years.

peanutbuttermuffs replied:
I had a boyfriend text me “ can you come over? We need to talk”. I was wearing my favorite shirt, so I went home and changed first. I knew I was getting broken up with and didn’t want the memories tainting my view of the shirt. I was right. And I still like that shirt.

damedolla78 said:
Longing to feel one last hug or hear one last laugh from a loved one that is no longer here, and the subsequent pain that consumes your entire being.

Catshit-Dogfart replied:
Also, having a dream about such a person.

It should be a good dream - they're here again, you're with them, you're happy in the dream. Waking up from that dream can be like losing them all over again, so much that you'd prefer not to dream at all.

tvcriticgirlxo said:
Not feeling valued.

cloistered_around replied:
I've just accepted that other people aren't very considerate--but keep in mind that this doesn't mean they don't like you. They just show it in their own ways and that may not align with yours.

When I was going through a really rough emotional time I approached a lot of friends and family to talk about it and keep myself sane. Each and every one talked with me--and each one never followed up again. I was so sad about that for a long time because I was just craving someone to care, someone to say "hey about that thing--how are you doing?" and it never came. But then I finally remembered that they still took the time to sit down with me and talk about it at all! Maybe they just thought it was over or I'd call them again if I needed help. I can't really judge them based on how I was feeling at the time, because they weren't going through the same anguish and although they wanted to support me that doesn't mean they "get it."

Anyway long story short I try to not do the same thing to other people now. If someone mentions they're having trouble sure I'll be there for them--but I also try to follow up and make sure they're okay later (even if you have to set a reminder in your phone). We can be the person we wanted to have.

OldandBoldDude said:
Loneliness.

TheIowan replied:
I like talking to old people, but sometimes the type of loneliness they talk about is so heartbreaking. One lady in her 90's told me how it just didn't feel like the current world was made for her, and that everyone she really related with was either dead or basically completely incapacitated.

The feeling of a full blown panic and anxiety attack. You lose all control and think you are dying and it just incapacitates you for a while. I just had a 2+ hour episode of full blown panic attacks this evening and 3 hours later, I'm still having issues but it's like 35% better now. That, and maybe a more conventional feeling would be despair-anxiety like you're getting called into the boss' and you have zero idea why, but you feel a bad omen like, what did I do?? Am I in trouble for something you don't even know you did. The waiting game sucks.

whosyodaddy328 said:
I know relationships are never 50/50 but loving someone more than they love you after spending years with them. Finding out from your friends that your significant other is sleeping around hurts bad when its 100% unexpected. The heart sinks straight down to your feet and the mind goes down a rabbit hole of thoughts and emotions on why you weren't good enough.

notalistener replied:
Came here to say this exact thing. That betrayal of trust tarnishes your views on so many things for a VERY long time and PERMANENTLY sticks with you in one capacity or another. It’s a “to the core” kind of betrayal if you truly loved them. Not an easy road to recovery on that one. I’ve had to deal with this issue twice and the second time was REALLY unexpected and created a short circuit in my brain. Have never had much for feelings since. Sort of destroyed what was left of my emotional capacity. Been trying for years to restore it, with no such luck unfortunately.

Feeling like your mind is slowing slipping out of your control. To go from a person that was able to remember the faces of kindergarten classmates after 25 years to not remembering pictures that you took of your children last weekend at her first t-ball game; or not remembering the t-ball game at all.

Constantly letting people down because you can't remember to do even the simplest tasks like make a phone call or ask a question. Very little gets committed to long term memory these days. Nearly half of all interactions I have with people that I am asked to recall something result in me admitting I don't recall. That number goes up well beyond half if the thing was from less than 2 years ago.

Walking around in what can only be described as a dream state because of brain fog. Fog that can feel so thick that simple questions start mild panic attacks while I scramble to formulate a coherent response. I used to be a jovial generally outgoing person, but now I prefer to keep to myself because I'm afraid of interacting with people, can they tell I'm losing my mind? Can they tell the point I'm trying to make isn't quite made because I couldn't hold the thought long enough to form a complete thought? Can the people who know me tell that I'm losing it? Is it just me?

The headaches, the headaches, the headaches. I don't know where the headaches come from but they must all be related. The headaches used to come and go, now they never really go, sometimes just dulling down. Actually, they never really come either headaches seem to be ever present.

My executive function (the command and control of the brain) has falling so far from my old self that I not able to take on complex thought activities. I used to write policies and opinions as an expert in my field. Develop complex strategies with multiple steps, triggers, and contingency plans. Now I can't read a page of text without stopping 20 times to re-read, refocus, or gain control of my eyes. It takes hours to write a 5 sentence response email. The information isn't stuck in my head, the filing system in my brain is so jumbled up that the files aren't ever available for recall. (I won't remember it later)

All of these symptoms combine to make me feel like I'm losing control of my own self. I was always a cerebral person, often lost in thought contemplative, deep thought. Now I just get lost. They all seem to move as a team building up each other and strengthening as a group as my mind gets weaker. I might end up mentally absent long before I die. I might not remember my child's first dance recital, I might not remember my wedding day. I might remember those things. I don't know. But it is a real possibility that my mind goes and the slow creep of this possibility into my world is absolutely the worst feeling.

I'm currently working on getting setup with a doctor that does IVIG treatments. (Intraveineous immuno globulin) treatments. Honestly I don't know much about it but apparently there is a thing called long COVID. That this treatment helps. I had COVID in Nov 2020 and although my issues definitely existed before the COVID, they se to be gaining speed and severity in the time following.

PM_ME_BREAD_PICS_ said:
Telling someone about something that happened in the past and realizing that that wasn't normal

DCYHWLSTD replied:
When my therapist told me my first relationship was abusive... All the music and TV I watched at the time fed me this narrative that emotional pain and turmoil were part of the romance.

I couldn't accept the reality of it until they looked me straight in the eye and said "that isn't romance, that is abuse" with the most blunt tone and expression on their face.

They also let me know what Stockholm Syndrome was, and how it distorted my memories.

It was a rough recovery process... but I thank the good Lord that I was able to heal from all that mess.

dwalshhh45 said:
Feeling like all you want to do is sleep. Cause the dreams you have are better than reality.

Mcnugz9 replied:
Similarly, like in my case, wanting to sleep because reality is tremendously agonizing, but being scared to sleep because of having vivid and horrific nightmares. The only solution I’ve come up with is distractions and simply laying in bed waiting.