Bored Panda contacted Susan Winter, love coach and author of Breakup Triage: The Cure for Heartache, to find out what experts have to say about nailing the dating game. It turns out, even if the impulse to create romantic relationships exists, the skill sets to do so may not. Susan said that there’s been an increasing loss of capacity for clear communication and clarity of "dating purpose."
Susan says that it’s important to know what you want and how you want it: “Without mental clarity there is no emotional clarity.” Firstly, “we must know what we want out of a relationship.” And secondly, “we must define those goals to our perspective mate, using language they understand, for e.g. 'I want a partner,' or 'I'm just looking to have fun.'"
The relationship expert assures us that people still date these days, but they’re not calling it "dating." “This seems to be a resistance to the term itself. 'Dating' may feel too formal a word for some people who'd rather say they're hanging out, or hooking up.”
Interestingly, there’s a resurgence of people who're beginning to do "proper dates." Susan explains: “Old-school protocol can seem interesting and new wave when it's a novel departure from the norm of nondescript get-togethers.”
Initial dates set a precedent for future behavior. Susan says that “If your partner takes the time and energy to plan a great date, then you know they have the capacity to invest time and energy into a relationship.” Planning a first date shows that you care and that you're invested in making a good impression. “Plan in advance. Know your partner's preferences; their likes and dislikes. Be creative. Be thoughtful. Be kind,” suggests Susan.
There are many things holding us back from finding that true love. But the Singles In America survey from dating app Match showed that millennials are dating less because it’s too expensive. 20% of millennial singletons believe they need to reach a certain income level before pursuing love, and more than 30% confessed they don’t have the budget to go on a date.
One singleton told USA Today that he has stopped actively dating because “it has gotten way too expensive.” He confessed to shelling out hundreds of dollars each month on dates, and “it was a completely worthless investment.”
