Funny,ParentingMAR 23, 2021

Nurses And Midwives Reveal 40 Baby Names That They Tried To Talk The Parents Out Of

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For new parents, naming their baby can be both a blessing and, sometimes, a curse. You see, while most moms and dads have at least a rough idea of what name they’re going to register for their little miracle, some do struggle to come up with something original.

And this can be a daunting task when you keep in mind that on average, about 250 babies are born every minute—more than 130 million in a year. But can a baby name get a teeny tiny too original? Like, on the border of becoming something potentially troublesome and question-raising as the child is growing up?

Well, one redditor ought to have found out as they asked “Nurses and midwives of Reddit, have you ever tried to talk new parents out of a baby name? What was it?” on Ask Reddit. The answers started pouring in and they will be illuminating, to say the least. Take notes, parents, ‘cause there’s a fair reason you never ever want to give your baby a spin of the name Collin which is spelled “Colon.”

#1

Nurses And Midwives Reveal 40 Baby Names That They Tried To Talk The Parents Out Of

I had a coworker named Trina, and when she was pregnant, she told me that she and her husband decided to name their baby 'Latrine.' I had to explain to her that she was naming her poor baby after the hole in the ground that soldiers s**t into!"
"She was horrified, and changed it to 'Katrina.' Then, two days after the kid was born, Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans

SpecificMost19

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368points

#2

Oh I got one. Goth parents (18ish) had a baby. They wanted to name this sweet baby girl Death. I could not stand for it. So I told them every time I went to type it into birth certificate it changed the form to a death certificate. They bought and that girl is now named Morticia

SnooChocolates4286

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316points

#3

My grandmother once put Virginia on a birth certificate when the parents had requested Vagina but didn’t know how to spell it.

stoneman9284

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279points

Choosing a perfect name for your little one can be totally nerve-wracking. One day, the one you carried in mind for the past 9 months just doesn’t feel right anymore, and you’re back to searching for a new one.

Of course, many parents bear a great deal of confidence in their baby name choice, but it’s totally normal to have second thoughts. A survey conducted by Mumsnet.com found that almost one-fifth of parents in the UK would opt for a different name for their child if they had a chance.

The reason according to the survey is 25% of regret because the name was “too common,” and 21% of regret was caused by a name which “just didn’t feel right.”

#4

My husband wanted to name our son Truck . Almost ended in divorce. Needless to say, none of our boys are named Truck and we are still married

BB1429

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249points

#5

X Æ A-12

[deleted]

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236points

#6

My boss's friend named their kid 'Monster Galileo.' The nurse tried to talk them out it, but they insisted. The kid goes by 'Galileo.'"
"Honestly, I kind of like the sound of it for an adult or a performer's name, but being a kid named 'Monster' has to be rough in school

WeaselBit

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210points

The best way to avoid such thoughts is to think about it in advance. So before registering your baby a name, do your homework. You can check whether a name’s popularity is trending up or down on sites like BabyNameWizard.com and Nameberry.com. Make sure the name you want is not super popular at the moment, because if it is, the chances are you’ll be hearing everywhere wherever you go!

#7

My classmate's mother was a maternity nurse, and she once had a couple who wanted to name their son 'Collin,' but wanted to give him a unique spelling. So they chose to spell it C-O-L-O-N. They tried to name their son Colon — as in, the organ attached to your anus. When my classmate's mother explained this to them, they were painfully embarrassed, and asked her to just use the usual spelling instead. I don't think they'll ever live it down

Skippyist

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204points

#8

Back in 2000-2004 I worked at a hospital doing admin and an ol' battleaxe of a senior midwife stomped over with this angry-looking pregnant teenager in tow.

"Varvara!" Old Battleaxe roared. "Varvara, open up that internetty-thing on your computer!"

Old Battleaxe did not know computers, but she was well scary, so I agreed, and opened up the internetty-thing.

"Show this ridiculous child the first picture that appears when you type in the word Chanterelle!"

The angry pregnant teenager whined about how it was a pretty name and loads of girls were naming their little girl it, and then went stone-dead silent when she saw picture after picture of nasty sulphur-yellow mushrooms sprouting out of muddy forest floors.

"Told you! It's a [friggin] fungus!" Old Battleaxe roared, and stamped off to be Terrifying and Sensible at other pregnant teenagers, leaving me with the angry one.

Turned out that the name she had actually been thinking of was Chardonnay, which is both the name of very expensive wine and the name of a character in a UK soap opera called Footballers Wives, which was about as classy as it sounds.

The baby got that as a middle name later on, which was fine, the first name was Sophie or something along those lines.

Varvara-Sidorovna

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197points

#9

My ex-husband didn't think it was fair that girls could be named 'Grace' or 'Hope,' and he seriously suggested 'Pestilence,' 'War,' or 'Plague.' And his choice for a girl was 'Tangerine.' Fortunately, we never had any children

Flaky_Walrus_668

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193points

On the other hand, picking an extremely rare name is not an ideal way to go about it either. Make sure your child will be able to grow and socialize comfortably with the name you’ll give to them and it won't cause any unwanted attention.

#10

My dad wanted to name me 'Sky' — but he thought replacing the 'y' with an 'i' would be cute. Thank God my mom didn't go along with it, or I may have been named 'Ski.'

Bingo-Bongo-Cat

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181points

#11

I once had a student named 'Linoleum.' Some midwife definitely dropped the ball on that one.

BigOrangeBall

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181points

#12

Working as an ERT on overnights, I got called to OB to help out alot. One name will always stick with me because of how unfortunate it is for the kid and how ridiculous it all is. The mom was deep in meth and other substance abuse and she told us she wanted him named Zion. We were like oh cool no problem so we asked her to fill out the paperwork of everything for us to submit and put in the chart and she wrote down Vzyiion.....she looked us dead in the eyes and said, the V is silent..... She also gave him 5 middle names because she didn't know which one was the father so he got em all

Athuny

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177points

After all, we all learn to love names. You see, it’s usually not the name per se which bugs us, but a person we know who bears that particular name. If we don’t like the person, we’d probably have the same feeling about that name.

So, imagine that a child who you and your family adores to the moon and back will forever be precious no matter the name you give. In the end, some people just won't get that name you picked and that’s also fine.

#13

Ladies and Gentlemen, Adolph Hitler.

The parents then tried to claim they weren't Nazis.... At first

ShamelessFox

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167points

#14

I worked at a registrar for a while, and some of the standout names on the birth certificates I got were 'Killer,' 'Syphilis,' and 'Sweet Prayer Sunrise'

Not-An-Ocelot

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164points

#15

I lived with a student midwife when I was a student, and the first set of twins she delivered were named 'Red' and 'Blue.'

Flaky_Walrus_668

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158points

#16

As a med student, I had a patient who wanted to name her child 'Mudpiles.' The nurses silently protested and waited a few days. Mom eventually changed her mind

bigpsych5150

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150points

#17

I know a teacher who has a elementary age student with a African name that unfortunately does not translate well into English North America, the kids name is Acock Ring, and yes I wish I was kidding

The_Roptor

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147points

#18

My uncle wanted to name his daughter Raider God. I'm glad they settled on Jada

keikei94

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143points

#19

Not a nurse or a midwife but I had to talk a friend out of naming their daughter jkmno

acallswell

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142points

#20

My daughter named my grandchildren...Draven Tyrion Dexter Zaraphil Johnson, and Andromeda Nymphadora Jane Zaraphil Johnson....I'm not happy , but at least we convinced her to leave Lucifer out

OtterMosh

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140points

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