Women Are Sharing The Gruesome Mental Loads They Carry In Silence

Turns out they are not aware of anything and choose to make themselves believe I am not suffering. And it's easy to do as they are all far away. I've been taking care of our mother since I was 16 years old. 22 years now. My brother has been living in another country for over a decade now and at most visits twice a year. For the last few years it's been even less. He rarely calls, maybe 3-4 times a year. Our mother does not have any friends and all her siblings live far away. They also rarely call. 100% of the emotional and physical work are on me. And yet, my brother talked like because he sends little amount of money to support, he is doing his part. Or I have choice to leave this situation. I have had anxiety disorder, and on-and-off agoraphobia since I was like 18. And everyone pretends like as if them not doing s**t is not a major cause of this, if not the biggest reason.

For whatever reason, my lot in life is to be the people that emotionally depend on, but idealize so much that I’m not allowed to be a flawed person who goes through hard times. The people I want to rely on often drop off the map or victim-blame me when I need them most. I am incredibly lonely, since at least half of my friendships are superficial and only benefit the other person. People view me some sort of way that makes them either want to f**k me, keep me around for social clout or bully me. The pressure I live under day-to-day is unbearable and I can’t get anyone to understand it or show me genuine empathy.

My parents had me a bit older, and they always encouraged me to study/chase my dreams and move abroad to have better opportunities (coming from a South American country). I came to Europe to study, met my current partner (who is from the country I live in), decided to stay and found a job. They were of course happy, but also a bit sad from the distance (despite we often videocalling and trying to see each other in person 2-3 times a year). However, every time I see them in person I can clearly see that they are ageing and that truly scares me. I don't know how long we'll still have together, how their health will be when they're older, and I'm scared of regretting the fact that I might not be able to be with them as much during their old age. I'm a single child, we've always been a close family, and it really saddens me to see how they miss me.

That even though I’m proud to have walked away from Christianity, I’m aware I disappointed my mom and aunt especially, and that even though my mom loves me, I know she’s worried for my soul and relentlessly prays for my return to the faith. I’ve had strict boundaries to never speak to her about that topic until I’m ready or choose to, but I’m not heartless or cold as she might think. I’m very aware of the factors and just as sad that they can’t accept me just because I believe something differently.

My partner and i separated 7 months ago. We still live together because living in Western Canada is an expensive s**t show. He refuses to tell anyone and carries on as normal, while I feel like I'm living a lie and slowly going crazy.

The entirety of the family’s children’s Christmas happiness. No one else cares and puts in 1/10 effort because what’s the point.

I struggle with my gender identity. I don't feel like I can talk about this with my mother. Although she's a relatively progressive and very much left leaning person she's also a second wave feminist and really.. I mean REALLY dislikes men.

Currently, I’m staying with Mom(76) and my brother(52). Been here a year.

Either one doesn’t know/realize/care what I’ve been through and going through in my marriage. I don’t talk about it because Mom then feels my life is up for conversation with extended family and her friends. So I stay quiet.

Because of the c**p going on in my marriage, my adult children barely speak to me. I cry about this all.the.time. Yesterday, was especially difficult. I miss them and my grandkids.

I am always worried about the what ifs. My parents situation is teetering on the brink and even though I have POA it gives me very little comfort.

My health - physical and mental health - is not good.

All of this combined and I’m exhausted. Never would I have thought my life would be this way. Not ever.

Not really sure if this counts, but im going through a break up, it was something relatively new so they didnt even really know much about it and him, but nonetheless im still pretty upset over the loss of him and anytime ive been alone i cry.

My parents still treat me like a child even though I am 35 years old. We never talk about anything serious. It's always just laughs, silly 'dad jokes', and superficial conversations where everyone just pretends everything is fine, even when there's something wrong. No matter how much I try to talk to them about anything serious or give them any sort of advice they never listen. Like they are getting really overweight and the older they get the more troubles that will cause and I am really worried about that, but they never listen to anything I tell them about healthy eating or exercise or healthier choices and they just keep getting more overweight...