There can be many reasons to break up with your partner. They might cheat on you, blindside you with some concerning information, or you might just naturally drift apart over time. Some people, however, can name several reasons they want to break up, but still remain in the relationship.
In a recent confession, this woman shared why she can no longer stay with her boyfriend. Things were bad in bed, his intelligence seemed questionable, and she started seeing his frugality as a bit insulting. Yet something in her confession rubbed people the wrong way — she wanted to use the breakup as a reward for hitting her goal weight in her fitness journey.
A woman listed all the reasons she wanted to dump her boyfriend
But what rubbed people the wrong way was how she wanted to use it as a “reward” for losing weight
Being in a relationship can make it both easier and harder to reach your weight loss goals
Romantic partners do play a role in one’s weight loss journey, just perhaps not in the way that the boyfriend in this story did. Usually, partners can either help or hinder one’s efforts to lose weight, but the help often comes consciously from the partner’s side, not in the questionable way shown in this story.
A 2016 study found that partners prevent people from reaching their weight loss goal in three main ways:
- Making it hard to adhere to a healthy diet by buying and eating junk food, and tempting them to cheat on their diets.
- Distracting them from exercise, either by failing to do their share of household tasks and making it possible for them to work out, or offering comfortable alternatives to strenuous physical activities.
- Discouraging them emotionally by way of hurtful comments, a lack of support, or threats to the existence of the relationship.
But not all partners are so bad—some can help people on their fitness journey. The same team of researchers found that:
- Some partners made it easier to stick to a healthy diet, bought fitness equipment, and took on a bigger share of household chores so their loved ones could exercise.
- Others even joined their partner’s fitness journey: the couple shared tips and struggles, ate the same healthy foods, and exercised together.
- Other partners showed support without doing the work, but reminded their significant others to go to the gym, to eat healthier, and expressed confidence in their ability to carry through.
- The partners and the relationships themselves were motivation enough for the people trying to lose weight. They wanted to be attractive to their partners, and thought it would help the longevity of the relationship.
Research shows that people in supportive relationships tend to reach their fitness goals more easily, not the other way around
That’s what makes this woman’s experience quite strange — in many cases, a relationship is the motivation for people to get fitter and healthier. It’s strange that she stayed in a relationship she hated and used the breakup for motivation to lose weight instead.
Still, research points to something different: people in rocky relationships have a harder time reaching their weight-loss goals. What’s more, because communication is often lacking, they find it harder without a partner’s support.
“There is considerable evidence that individuals who coordinate weight loss efforts with a partner, romantic or otherwise, are more successful at shedding pounds than those who do it alone because they are more accountable and supported in their efforts,” co-author of these studies, Jennifer Theiss, Ph.D., writes for Psychology Today.
Nevertheless, each person finds motivation in a different place. A breakup with an off-putting boyfriend is not among the common reasons people cite in their weight loss journeys. Those are most often reserved for improved physical health, increased confidence, and enhanced appearance.
The woman gave more examples about how the guy’s lack of intelligence was turning her off
Many commenters called out the woman for her cruel behavior: “Insanely selfish and horrible”
Others sided with her: “That is not a relationship you want to be in”
