Hosting Thanksgiving is not an easy task. When the cooking giant Allrecipes asked its readers how many hours on average it takes to prepare for the holiday, they said that cooking the meal itself takes around seven hours! So, it's understandable why someone wouldn't want the burden of hosting.
However, when this woman approached her big family about taking a break from hosting Thanksgiving, she was met with accusations of selfishness. Detailing her reasons for feeling burnt out, she asked strangers on the internet whether passing the baton of hosting Thanksgiving to one of her sisters would be so terrible.
The oldest sister of the family asked her big family whether she could take a break from hosting Thanksgiving
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Although she mentioned feeling burnt out, her sisters still accused her of being selfish
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Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Acemer0904
Image credits: Askar Abayev / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Thanksgiving hosting stress is caused by financial worries and anxiety about carrying out hosting duties properly
Holiday stress is a very real thing, and Thanksgiving is the start of the holiday season. Even when people are not the hosts of Thanksgiving celebrations, it's still stressful. According to a 2023 poll by the American Psychological Association, 89% of Americans feel joyous but overwhelmed during the holiday season.
Although the majority associates the holidays with positive feelings and words like "fun" or "exciting," many people also admit that the season can be bittersweet. 40% see the time as stressful, and 34% say it even becomes exhausting.
The source of that hosting stress can be financial. Experts say that Thanksgiving is going to cost an average of $1,000 for a host this year. That includes the meal, traveling, and any unexpected surprises like fixing an appliance or buying a new outfit. On average, a host has to feed eight people, and each plate costs about $21.88.
Market research experts at Circana asked people what about hosting Thanksgiving worries them the most in 2025. 43% of hosts are afraid the meal won't come out as planned, and 27% worry they might not make enough food to go around. Younger hosts, especially Millennials and older Gen Z, worry that they will spend too much time in the kitchen and not enough time socializing with their guests.
Younger hosts are also more inclined to think that participants should share the financial burden of Thanksgiving. One in three baby boomers thinks that the host should cover all the expenses of the dinner. However, 33% of Gen Z say guests should all divide the costs evenly.
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Hosting Thanksgiving by yourself is an almost impossible task, experts say
When it comes to hosting duties, sharing tasks can also be a good way to reduce the load for the host. The woman in this story is not crazy for asking her family for help: no matter how much we'd like to uphold family traditions, life sometimes just gets in the way.
Ingrid Helander, LMFT, writes that telling at least one guest that you're overwhelmed with Thanksgiving hosting duties can be enough. She suggests showing yourself compassion: "Remind yourself that you can do this meal in any way you want as it is in your home."
Even planner Crysta Miller agrees, saying that some guests might be waiting to be asked for help; that makes them feel like they're a bigger part of the day. "Just because you are hosting doesn't mean you have to do everything," Miller told Martha Stewart. "Maybe pies aren't your specialty, so ask a friend to help you out! Don't be afraid to ask for help from your guests."
Food enthusiasts at Delish reassure those who think that asking for help while being the host might be seen as a sign of weakness. "A Thanksgiving meal is nearly impossible to execute on your own. You need a brigade to take on some of the tasks," they write.
The solution is similar to what the sisters in this story did: asking others to bring dishes, having catering do the hardest parts of the meal, or just asking for help in the kitchen. People say that raising kids takes a village, but once a year, the village can come together and help make Thanksgiving a memorable day of kindness, closeness, and family connection.
"I'm just so tired," the woman wrote, "this year has been a rough one"
Commenters sided with the woman, accusing her sisters of using "tradition" to manipulate her
In the end, the sisters sympathized with the eldest's struggles and agreed to divide hosting tasks
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Image credits: Acemer0904
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