When life tests us with heartbreak, we often rely on our family for support. But sometimes, the people who are supposed to stand by our side become the very source of our deepest pain.
There's a new post on the subreddit r/Relationship_Advice by a woman whose sister got pregnant by her husband. After the affair came to light, everyone around her has been pressuring her to forgive her sibling and her ex—but she simply can't.
So now, she's wondering whether it's time to walk away from them all.
Betrayal cuts deeper when it comes from the people you love
Image credits: gpointstudio / Envato (not the actual photo)
This woman is stuck between forgiving her sister for sleeping with her husband and losing the rest of her family
Image credits: Garakta-Studio / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ThrowRAMPerspective
It would be interesting to hear how the woman's mother expects the family to function after all this
Abe Kass is a registered marriage and family therapist and the author of Surviving Infidelity: Making Amends, Restoring Trust, Finding Forgiveness, and Living Together Happily for the Rest of Your Lives.
"It's no surprise that husbands do sleep with sisters-in-law, wives sleep with brothers-in-law, and cousins, nieces, nephews, and other relatives find themselves physically and emotionally drawn to extended family members," he says.
But even if it "makes sense" on a theoretical level, infidelity is still a huge body blow whenever it arises.
Image credits: Vitaly Gariev / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
"Throw into the traumatic mix the impact that all-in-the-family infidelity has on children, grandparents, other siblings, and other close family and friends, and even wise King Solomon would be challenged to disentangle and set right what two individuals, momentarily blinded to any need but their own, wreak," Kass adds.
Even if our Redditor decided to turn the other cheek, it's still unclear whether everyone would be pleased with the new status quo.
Imagine all the dinners, trips, and family gatherings. There would be plenty of unpleasant and awkward situations, and they would require not just her but also the whole family to come face-to-face with what happened for years to come—likely for the rest of their lives. Is it possible to do so without feeling hurt and bitterness at each encounter?
That would be quite the ask.
After her story went viral, the woman joined the discussion in the comments
People continue sharing their thoughts and advice on her situation
