Honesty should be the foundation of any healthy relationship. Sure, you might want to sugar coat the truth when your partner asks how his first attempt at sourdough was or when he wants to know how obvious that pimple on his chin is. But no matter how challenging it may be, we should always try to be honest with the people we love, especially when it comes to information that will directly impact them.
One woman who needed a little push to tell the truth reached out to Reddit seeking advice on whether or not she should be forthcoming with the man she’s dating about her plans to become a single mother. Below, you’ll find the full story, as well as a conversation with Dr. Alexander Kucherov, Reproductive Endocrinologist at Illume Fertility.
This woman made plans to become a mother while she was single
Image credits: Katerina Holmes (not the actual image)
But after she started dating, she began to wonder if she was obligated to tell her new boyfriend that she would have a child soon
Image credits: Drazen Zigic (not the actual image)
Image credits: Curated Lifestyle (not the actual image)
Many readers agreed that it would be a terrible idea to keep this information a secret
However, some thought that she wasn't obligated to be completely honest
After revealing her plans to her partner, the author shared an update
Image credits: boggy (not the actual image)
Later, the woman responded to several comments and clarified some details about her situation
Many readers were happy for the author and wished her luck
However, some thought it was a bad idea to try to continue the relationship
Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)
Finally, the mom shared an update detailing how her relationship is going now
Image credits: EyeEm (not the actual image)
"Thousands of women every year use [donations] to build their families"
To learn more about what it’s like for a woman to choose to become a single mother, we got in touch with Dr. Alexander Kucherov, Reproductive Endocrinologist at Illume Fertility. He was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and answer a few of our questions on this topic.
“Single mother households account for approximately 20% of families in the USA,” Dr. Kucherov shared. “The data doesn’t exist to evaluate the proportion of these families who used donor insemination to conceive, but certainly thousands of women every year use [donations] to build their families.”
We were also curious about what kind of support a woman needs while undergoing this process. “I would recommend speaking to a Reproductive Endocrinologist prior to starting this process,” the expert says. “Donor insemination is an excellent option for some women to build their families, but others may have better success with different fertility options.”
“I recommend a full fertility checkup of the uterus, fallopian tubes, and ovaries/eggs, prior to starting donor insemination,” Dr. Kucherov continued. “This is not to say that you can’t do it, but rather to confirm that it’s the best and most effective option in your circumstances.”
“For example, people may have lower egg numbers than expected, or a polyp in the uterus, or have a blocked fallopian tube that they are unaware of,” he noted. “Often these findings have no symptoms but can reduce the chance of success with donor insemination, and higher-level fertility treatment options may be needed in some circumstances.”
Image credits: bristekjegor (not the actual image)
"It helps to have people you can rely on when going through any fertility treatment"
Before spending money on a donation, the expert recommends evaluating these areas to confirm that donor insemination is the best use of your money, time, and effort.
“As physicians, our goal is to support you in whatever choice you make, and to make sure you are empowered to make those decisions with all the information you can get,” Dr. Kucherov told Bored Panda.
Finally, we asked the expert if he had any advice on how a woman can explain to the people in her life that she’s decided to go this route to become a single mother. “I would recommend being open and honest. Often it helps to have people you can rely on when going through any fertility treatment,” he shared.
“You may be surprised to find that others have had similar experiences when building their families as well. It is also helpful to have people in your life to go to if things don’t go exactly as well as you had planned, but also to celebrate, with those same people, the joy of your success,” Dr. Kucherov added.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. What would you have done if you were in the author’s shoes? Then, if you’d like to check out another Bored Panda article discussing similar themes, look no further than right here.
Image credits: gpointstudio (not the actual image)
Readers congratulated the mother on her happy ending, and she joined in on the conversation one last time
