Grief is a terrible thing to experience. It’s all-encompassing, and the way it impacts people doesn’t always make sense. But it’s absolutely crucial to have support while you’re going through it.
So when a grieving widow was asked by her brother-in-law if he could move into her late husband’s house, she begrudgingly agreed. After a few weeks, however, she realized that the arrangement was never going to work. Below, you’ll find the full story that she shared on Reddit detailing why she decided to kick her brother-in-law out, as well as some of the replies concerned readers left her.
This woman agreed to let her brother-in-law move in while they were grieving the loss of her husband
Image credits: Andrej Lišakov / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
But it didn't take long for her to realize that the arrangement was never going to work
Image credits: Olivie Strauss / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: throwawayrw6545
Grief can fundamentally change a person
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The last thing anyone would ever want to think about on their wedding day is the possibility that their spouse’s life might end before their own. Couples are full of hope, joy, and excitement when tying the knot. But unfortunately, that doesn’t always last forever. The relationship will come to an end one day, either by divorce or tragedy.
Knowing that we can’t live forever doesn’t make facing loss any easier, though. According to the Grief & Loss Center, losing a spouse changes you. In the short term, it can cause changes in sleep patterns, eating habits, and overall energy. It might even impact your personality, making you more irritable, less patient, or unable to deal with other people’s “small” problems.
Grief often causes people to become forgetful and have trouble concentrating or focusing. At the same time, many people become isolated, by choice or simply due to their circumstances, while grieving.
Even relationships with loved ones can be affected, as friends and family members might react differently to the “new” version of you. And it’s perfectly natural to feel anxious or fearful of the future when your life has been flipped upside down so suddenly.
But there are permanent changes that grief can cause as well. Sadly, many people will always feel like they’re missing a part of themself after suffering a significant loss. They might also carry some of this trauma along with them for the rest of their life. And some people’s perception of the fairness of life will be fundamentally altered. Very few things will make you as acutely aware of how random and unfair life is as losing a spouse.
The most important thing a grieving person needs is support
Image credits: Meg Aghamyan / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
While it’s certainly not easy to know what to say or do when someone is struggling with such a huge loss, HelpGuide has some advice for how to help a grieving loved one. First, they recommend reaching out even if you’re scared. You might not always say the perfect thing, but it’s important to let them know that you’re there to support them.
It’s also crucial to be there just to listen. Obviously, there’s nothing you can do to fix the situation, but you can be a shoulder to cry on. Meanwhile, understand that your loved one’s behavior might be different. Show them grace and compassion, even if they’re impatient or occasionally lash out.
At the same time, offering practical help can go a long way. Even the simplest of tasks can feel impossible when all you want to do is lie in bed and cry. So preparing meals for your loved ones, buying groceries for them, cleaning their home, or helping with childcare can give them some time and space to grieve.
It’s also wise to remember that grief lasts a lifetime. It will be helpful to provide ongoing support and continue checking in, even if your loved one seems to be doing just fine. You can’t always tell what a person is going through from the outside, and it might take years before they begin to feel relatively “normal.” Be patient, and remember to be there for them.
Many readers assured the widow that she had every right to kick her brother-in-law out
However, some thought that the author could have made better choices
