Many topics are off-limits during a job interview. If you receive a question about race, color, religion, age, disability, family status, ancestry and more, you can stand up and leave, closing the doors behind you for good. Some of them, like questions about faith, are only acceptable if an employer can demonstrate they are bona fide occupational qualifications (BFOQs) that are reasonably necessary to the normal operation of a business.
Sadly, there are interviewers who have the audacity to cross the line even further. This recent story about a job interview shared by a 27-year-old woman, u/R_Rover_2013, created quite a stir on the AITA subreddit. “The interviewer, we'll call him 'Eddie' welcomed me into the office and had me sit down. First thing he did was look at my CV then started asking me questions that seemed a little too personal and unrelated to the job,” she recounted.
Things like if she was single, whether her eye color was "real" and even “how I spend my time when 'alone' and what type of dudes I like.” Understandably, this didn’t sit well with the author, who just snapped at one point. Read on for the full story below to see how the incident ended.
Also, scroll down for our interview with Christine Mitterbauer, a licensed and ICF-approved career and life coach, as well as serial entrepreneur who shared some useful insights into how to behave when you get into this kind of uncomfortable situation.
One woman shared an incident she had during a job interview where a recruiter, she said, crossed the line
Image credits: R_Rover_2013 (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
“Questions such as are you married, are you planning to have children, are you disabled, what’s your sexual orientation, do you smoke, are all technically illegal, and your alarm bells should be ringing if an interviewer asked you those,” Mitterbaeur told us via written interview.
The career coach said that “you should, however, also listen to your gut feeling if you’re being asked a question you simply feel uncomfortable with, as it might be a reflection of the work culture of the job in question.” Therefore, “Questions about whether you mind working evenings, weekends and holidays are a good example of this, in case you’re not willing to do that,” she added.
If you feel the question asked is illegal, you should not be afraid to speak up and say that you’re not sure this question is appropriate or even legal, Mitterbaeur argues. “If you’re not sure the question is illegal but you simply feel uncomfortable, you could try asking why the interviewer wants to know this.” The life coach explained that it could be that there’s a good reason, or perhaps a bit of miscommunication due to language or other differences, so her advice is to not be afraid to ask for clarification. “It would be a shame to reject a job due to what could be a miscommunication,” she said.
“If, after asking a clarifying question, you still feel uncomfortable, then listen to your gut feeling. A good cultural fit is very important for your long-term happiness in a company, so if the interviewer makes you feel uncomfortable, there’s a good chance you would experience similar unease if you accepted a job with the company,” Mitterbaeur concluded.
The author also addressed people's questions, giving some background details about this unpleasant situation
