Sometimes, a wayward comment or silly joke can have far-reaching repercussions if people don’t realize that you weren’t being serious. It really can be quite difficult to read someone’s tone on social media if you don’t know them well.
Redditor u/crazymastiff recently opened up to the r/tifu online community about how she accidentally caused a complete stranger to get divorced. He’d been incredibly rude to her on social media. She responded with a comment of her own which caused a massive meltdown in his family. Scroll down for the full story.
Bored Panda got in touch with the author of the post, redditor u/crazymastiff, who shared her thoughts about what had happened. You'll find our full interview with her as you read on.
Even a single post on the internet can make huge waves
Image credits: Cliff Booth (not the actual photo)
A woman shared how a joke comment she wrote has far-reaching effects for an incredibly rude stranger
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: crazymastiff
"He chose the lowest possible hanging fruit as an insult"
Bored Panda asked the author why she thought the complete stranger thought it would be okay to be rude to her. " I think people feel it’s ok to be cruel to strangers when there’s anonymity. You don’t see who you hurt, so that visual for empathy is missing. You don’t see the person you want to hurt," u/crazymastiff told us.
"I’ve never been sensitive about my weight and it only became a concern when I got deathly ill. So when this stranger called me a fat pig, it really didn’t bother me. I’ve just lost a lot of weight and I’m happy with myself, so screw him. He obviously lacked any kind of imagination and isn’t probably that bright as he chose the lowest possible hanging fruit as an insult," she said,
"I wanted to respond out of annoyance because cyberbullying is never ok, but didn’t want to sink to his level. I wanted to shut him up where if he responded again, I could just continue with making him look like an insane ass."
The OP explained to Bored Panda that she was incredibly angry that someone in her neighborhood started setting off fireworks. She revealed that she has problems sleeping, had an early meeting that was hours away, and has 2 dogs that are terrified of fireworks.
Image credits: Burst (not the actual photo)
The fireworks hadn't just ruined the author's sleep, they also scared her dogs
"Usually, for holidays where there will be fireworks, I’m able to prepare. I give them a sedative, put thunder shirts on them, blast music. But 1 AM mid-week for no reason is a [jerk] move. I was so mad because they disturbed my dogs and made them panic. And, yes, I wanted to sleep," she shared with Bored Panda.
"When I was at my meeting and had a break, I just went on Facebook and I saw our local neighborhood group so I decided to complain. It wasn’t a long or mean post. It just simply said why would anyone light fireworks midweek at 1 AM? And the reply I got was something along the lines of 'don’t worry about it you fat little pig, maybe if you lost weight you can get some sleep.'"
Redditor u/crazymastiff pointed out that when the fireworks had gone off, she didn't want to call the police and waste their time. "It is a waste of time and resources to complain about fireworks," she said.
According to the author, she feels really bad for how the entire situation unfolded for the stranger's wife. "I can’t imagine having people tell me that my husband was cheating on me, showing me a post, and not being able to contact the person for more information. I got back and I was completely mortified that I had forgotten about this and I had all these Messages and DM‘s from the wife, the husband's friends asking for more information," she detailed how everything went down.
"I didn’t know that he was cheating at the time and I thought I had just really screwed up the marriage by hurting the wife. I reached out to apologize and explain what happened, and that’s when I found out that his affairs had come to light because of this. In the end, the wife is incredibly thankful to me, but I still felt terrible and continued to apologize over and over."
Image credits: Elisha Terada (not the actual photo)
Some strangers behave rudely online because they think there won't be any consequences
The OP said that she doesn't know if she'd do things differently now that she knows what happened. "I think I wouldn’t make such a post or comment and forget it ever again. I think that’s where my mess-up was. I wasn’t around so if something was taken very seriously, as this was, I could correct the situation. I could tell the partner the truth."
If there’s one thing this story should teach everyone is that you should avoid insulting anyone on social media. Or in real life. In fact, you should do your best not to be rude, wherever you might be. It might sound like common sense, but some people see the internet as a shield: they feel that they can say whatever they want without consequences.
Someone who’s completely anonymous might get away with nasty comments. However, someone who’s using their real name to post on Facebook should know better than to insult strangers living in their neighborhood. The author of the post responded to the rude guy’s comment with a joke about having dumped him.
The man’s wife, however, didn’t understand that this was a joke. Their marriage broke apart because it turned out that he was a serial cheater. Karma works in mysterious and roundabout ways.
The best way to deal with internet bullies is to either ignore them completely or use humor as a way to reframe the perspective. Bullies thrive on attention and negative reactions, so when you show that you’re unbothered, confident, and capable, they’re going to stop sooner or later.
However, if things get really bad and you’re being genuinely harassed, it might be a good idea to report their account. Whatever way you choose to respond, try to remember that your value as a person isn’t diminished just because some random jerk made a tasteless comment about your appearance in the cyber sphere.
Image credits: Courtney Corlew (not the actual photo)
Infidelity is among the top reasons why married couples get divorced
The fact of the matter is that the OP isn’t to blame for the meltdown in the stranger’s family. If he was constantly cheating on his wife, it was only a matter of time until she finally had enough. No person should have to suffer their partner cheating on them. And if a wayward and witty Facebook comment is enough to break the marriage apart, how strong was it in the first place?
The reasons why couples get divorced can be numerous, and complex, and can subtly overlap. Forbes explains that the most common reason why couples divorce is the lack of family support while infidelity is in second place.
Some other important factors that lead to the dissolution of marriages include a lack of compatibility and intimacy, too much arguing, as well as financial stress. While things like having different values and substance abuse are important factors in the quality of relationships, they are among the least common reasons for divorce.
Meanwhile, let’s not forget why the entire divorce drama happened in the first place. Everything happened because someone in the OP’s neighborhood set off fireworks in the middle of the night, preventing her from getting some well-earned rest.
Noisy neighbors need to understand that their behavior is unacceptable
When it comes to dealing with noisy neighbors, a bit of diplomacy never hurts. If you know who the problem person is, you should try talking to them about keeping the noise down. Try to be friendly but firm and not sound like you’re accusing them of anything. Your goal isn’t to be ‘right’ (even though you are), it’s to find some common ground and come to a compromise about curbing their awful, awful habits.
If they’re even half-reasonable, they’ll probably comply and be more respectful of your needs in the future. If not, then it’s time to escalate. If you have a neighborhood social media group, you can use that to broach the issue. Otherwise, contact the local neighborhood association and ask them to step in to mediate the issue.
Failing that, get in touch with the authorities. There’s nothing like the police showing up to turn even the rowdiest neighbors into the politest and quietest people you’ll ever meet. But if the police don’t get the results that you want, you may want to talk to your lawyer about what could be done. Fireworks don’t just cause people to lose sleep—they can start a whole chain of events, culminating in divorce.
The author of the post shared some more information in the comments under her story
Here's how some internet users reacted to the entire online drama
