It’s hard to imagine the sheer horror of being constantly stalked by someone against your will. This story comes from a woman who had her whole life affected because the stalker just wouldn’t go away for years and years.
“Then moving apartments and switching jobs and getting a new car and changing my usual places I'd go, just to put a stop to it,” she wrote in a post on r/AITA. “He basically became like a Boogeyman to me and my friend group.”
But it all changed one day when the author’s friend stumbled upon an obituary that said the guy passed away. Out of the sudden burst of joy and sense of freedom the woman hadn't felt in years, she threw a party to celebrate the stalker no longer being able to ruin her life.
Having called it a ''Deathday'' party, the woman has stirred a huge backlash for being distasteful, so now she seeks to find out whether it was really the right thing to do. Hit us with your thoughts on this tricky situation in the comments below!
After having been persecuted by a stalker for years, this woman felt relief to find out her perpetrator had unexpectedly passed away
Image credits: Kelsey Chance (not the actual photo)
So ‘riding on that high,’ she celebrated what she called a “Deathday” party and received a huge backlash
Image credits: meliama
A common reaction to any stalking behavior is to ignore the stalker’s behavior in hopes it will go away. This may work in some particular situations, but with stalkers who have already violated the victim's personal boundaries, making them feel unsafe, this may aggravate the situation.
Stalking expert and police psychologist Kris Mohandie, who has been consulting on stalking and threat cases for over 25 years, warns not to engage with your stalker directly.
What you should do instead is: avoid all contact; be alert and proactive to protect yourself from the possible threat; enhance security measures; inform close people about the potential threat; save and document all messages, voicemails, letters, and cards; photograph and document things that are damaged and quickly get that information to law enforcement.
It’s best to inform the police so that they can begin to intervene in the process at an early stage before it’s too late.
The post had people share their own disturbing stories of being stalked
According to Mohandie, the most common type of stalker, an intimate stalker, is the most dangerous. The risk of such stalkers committing violence is about 74%. Moreover, Mohandie says that many domestic violence homicides have a stalking component.
Most importantly, Mohandie warns that early intervention is key in stalking cases and if you suspect you’re a target of stalking, you should inform law enforcement immediately. “Stalking is a crime and should be treated that way,” he stated.
Many people thought it was totally normal to feel relief after your stalker dies and they showed their support in the comments
Here are some useful resources for anyone who is or has been the target of stalking and violence related to it:
The Stalking Safety Planning Guide
Stalking Resource Center from the National Center for the Victims of Crime
Victim Connect Resource Center: 1-855-484-2846
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
The National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
Stalking Resource Center from the National Center for the Victims of Crime
Victim Connect Resource Center: 1-855-484-2846
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
The National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
