Oh, it’s nice to be nice, for sure, but you’re not obligated to help everyone you meet in the street. Some people entirely forget that just because they ask someone for a favor does not mean that they’re entitled to their help. So if a stranger asks you to say something, you’re entirely free to say ‘no’ and move on with your day. ‘No’ is valid. ‘No’ sets boundaries!
Reddit user u/bee9jay6 opened up on the r/entitledparents online group about an uncomfortable situation she had during one of her lunch breaks. She explained how a complete stranger came up to her, asking to watch her child while she runs to the shop. When the OP refused, the entitled mom showed her true colors. Check out the full story and the internet’s reactions below.
Unfortunately, not everyone is in a position to help out a stranger on their lunch break
Image credits: Charlie Griffiths (not the actual image)
A woman revealed how a random mom reacted when she told her she couldn't babysit her child
Image credits: Phil Hearing (not the actual image)
Image credits: bee9jay6
The author of the post later shared a bit more context
Being a kind person doesn't mean that you have to drop every single thing just to help someone else
Instead of acknowledging the OP’s (perfectly valid) position, the random mom instead decided to insult her. It’s quite possible that in her mind, anyone who wasn’t willing to help her wasn’t worthy of respect or even the most basic politeness. It’s also likely that the mom wasn’t horrible or entitled but was simply having an awful day and took it out on the redditor.
In either case, it’s obvious that nobody should be rude to strangers on the street. It’s not a good way to go through life. What’s more, it’s also essential to recognize the often-forgotten fact that rejection is everywhere. It’s an unavoidable part of life.
While there are plenty of people who go head over heels for helping out random parents, others might be busy or simply want to relax for a moment. Saying ‘no’ doesn’t make you a bad person… unless you pull a face or start mocking the stranger for ‘daring’ to ask you for a helping hand.
In our experience, you can learn quite a lot about a person when you refuse them. Even if the interaction is completely civil, you can tell quite a bit about how they handle rejection and frustration, what their level of maturity is like, and what frame of mind they’re currently in. For instance, the mom in the OP’s story could’ve thanked her upon learning that it’s entirely safe to leave the stroller outside the shop.
At their core, boundaries ensure that you’re being faithful to your personal wants and needs. They help you protect your priorities and values. Not only that, boundaries also prevent others from taking advantage of you. Being altruistic and kind is one thing. Living entirely for others at your own expense is something else entirely. But in order to have healthy boundaries, you need to know how to communicate well and find a balance between firmness and diplomacy.
Enforcing healthy boundaries means communicating clearly and being confident when saying 'no'
‘Science of People’ notes that a potential sign of unhealthy boundaries is over-committing your time to others with barely any time left for yourself. On the flip side, someone who’s mastered the art of enforcing healthy boundaries has high self-esteem and self-respect and only takes on responsibilities that they know they can handle. They don’t overcommit just to people-please.
What’s more, folks who embrace healthy boundaries say ‘no’ when they don’t have the time or energy to do something. Meanwhile, individuals who have a tough time getting others to respect their boundaries might struggle to refuse someone’s demands for their time and effort. They also feel guilty for having boundaries in the first place.
Healthy individuals also understand that they can’t be held responsible for solving other people’s issues for them. They control what they can and take care of their own problems first. People who have low self-esteem, however, take on other folks’ problems as though they were their own. They also prioritize others’ needs instead of their own.
What all of this boils down to is communicating your boundaries to others in a clear, firm, yet diplomatic way. Naturally, you can’t expect anyone to be a mind-reader and know how you feel about lending a hand, especially if they’ve just met you.
So if they’re trampling over your boundaries, briefly explain your position without apologizing for the standards you set for yourself and others. At the same time, don’t be overly aggressive in how you phrase things. You don’t want to sound as though you’re accusing the other person of being inconsiderate. And if a random stranger then starts berating you for having boundaries, well, it’s perfectly fine to walk away—your lunch break is almost over, after all.
Here's how some readers reacted to the story and what they suggested the author should have done
